Extra stressed
What happened on Thursday really stressed me out. I haven't been this tense in a while. I know when I tried to fall asleep Thursday night, I was so freaked out internally that my extremities were going numb. I just had no good way to chill out.
I thought things would get better as time went on but they didn't; they got worse. I'm guessing the memorial service played into that a bit, given that the person who died was, oh yeah, the father of the guys I liked in college. Like, let's just mix in sadness and other feelings into this situation. I'm a stew of extremes at the moment.
Because my weekend got upended, I ended up not taking a walk until yesterday. I'm glad I got it in because I needed it, not that I felt that much less tense afterward, but it still helped to get out in the fresh air and get myself moving, and we pretty much snapped instantly into fall on Sunday, so the heat we've had of late went on its merry way and it was just at the edge of cool outside. I didn't have a jacket and had on a thin long-sleeved shirt and a short-sleeved top over it, and that was fine.
This morning, I wasn't doing all that great, but I've gotten better as the day has worn on and I feel a bit calmer tonight for the first time in days. I think I hit a mental breakthrough and that helps a lot. I know that I need to relax because I'm affected while trying to talk and do my job--I'm not saying things right, like I have verbal dyslexia or something. That's really frustrating when you're not able to get your point across to people either personally or professionally. I hope a good night's sleep is in my offing and tomorrow I can have a fresher start, because I'm close to finishing a project and really need to cross that off my list.
I thought things would get better as time went on but they didn't; they got worse. I'm guessing the memorial service played into that a bit, given that the person who died was, oh yeah, the father of the guys I liked in college. Like, let's just mix in sadness and other feelings into this situation. I'm a stew of extremes at the moment.
Because my weekend got upended, I ended up not taking a walk until yesterday. I'm glad I got it in because I needed it, not that I felt that much less tense afterward, but it still helped to get out in the fresh air and get myself moving, and we pretty much snapped instantly into fall on Sunday, so the heat we've had of late went on its merry way and it was just at the edge of cool outside. I didn't have a jacket and had on a thin long-sleeved shirt and a short-sleeved top over it, and that was fine.
This morning, I wasn't doing all that great, but I've gotten better as the day has worn on and I feel a bit calmer tonight for the first time in days. I think I hit a mental breakthrough and that helps a lot. I know that I need to relax because I'm affected while trying to talk and do my job--I'm not saying things right, like I have verbal dyslexia or something. That's really frustrating when you're not able to get your point across to people either personally or professionally. I hope a good night's sleep is in my offing and tomorrow I can have a fresher start, because I'm close to finishing a project and really need to cross that off my list.