Pro tip: If you don't pay your bill, your phone gets shut off
The grandma saga came to a positive conclusion, thankfully, but the trip to getting there was certainly bumpy.
At 9 AM, my older uncle's roommate went over to grandma's complex to see if she could get in the building. Nobody was around, so she couldn't get in, and she went back home and called my mom. Okay, thanks for doing that. We all tried calling grandma again and kept getting the same things. Then, maybe 11 AM or so, the roommate--who'd gone grocery shopping and tried to get in the building again afterward, I think, and couldn't--called back to say she at least was able to get a voicemail this time. Really? We immediately tried to call and still didn't get anywhere.
Somehow at this same time mom got on the phone with her younger brother. I think maybe she was calling him to begin with, then the roommate called, and there was this flurry of activity. Mom ended up on both the house phone and her cellphone at the same time for a few minutes. My younger uncle could hear me in the background and was upset to find out he was on speakerphone--"You have to let people know that they're being listened to and transcribed, you know." I told him, don't worry, I'm not transcribing you. (Paraphrasing is different.) That conversation lasted a while and I listened in on a fair amount of it. Kudos to my uncle for saying we need to do something now while grandma has a say in the matter, rather than when she doesn't have a choice.
One o'clock comes along. I make our weekly phone call. The phone still rings and rings. I tried again a few minutes later; same. By now mom has showered and is getting dressed and...packing a bag? She didn't really want to go into the city but wanted to be prepared in case she wasn't coming home tonight. O...kay... But she was deliberately being poky, and about 1:30 the phone rings--and it's grandma! Holy cow. There you are! And of course she's like, I've been here all along, essentially.
Thank goodness for our weekly one o'clock call. Mom had figured, if she knew it was Sunday, if we didn't call at 1 PM that something would be up and she would try to call us. That's exactly what happened. She tried to call a couple times and kept getting a weird message and not getting through to us. Finally she listened to the message and called the number mentioned in it. Turns out her bill hadn't been paid in four months and her phone was shut off. She did get a new debit card recently and it finally must've stopped working for her autopayment on the phone. This was confusing to her, because she kept saying, I use it at the grocery store just fine! She didn't seem to grasp that yes, your new card is valid...but they had your old card info which is not valid any longer. Otherwise, she sounded like herself, and she was surprised to discover we were all in a tizzy and that it was my older uncle who started it all off. We told her to call him right away. Mom then texted her younger brother to let him know all was well, and we were very thankful she hadn't left yet.
My younger uncle replied that we can't keep doing this. We have to have a way to be in touch with her even if her phone stops working, because as he saw last week, even the simplest of smartphones is difficult for her to navigate. She keeps turning the ringer on her phone down or even off, so that she can't hear it, and that causes her issues. When grandma visited him last week, he brought up moving out that way again, and talked about the apartments that are about 10 minutes from him and I think under $2000 a month, as well as looking at the senior home near him, but that was $3700 a month and she completely shut down on the topic at that point. I know she is independent and has been for several decades at this point, but she's going to have to face her reality. She should not be living on her own any longer. And no, a normal apartment isn't going to cut it.
At 9 AM, my older uncle's roommate went over to grandma's complex to see if she could get in the building. Nobody was around, so she couldn't get in, and she went back home and called my mom. Okay, thanks for doing that. We all tried calling grandma again and kept getting the same things. Then, maybe 11 AM or so, the roommate--who'd gone grocery shopping and tried to get in the building again afterward, I think, and couldn't--called back to say she at least was able to get a voicemail this time. Really? We immediately tried to call and still didn't get anywhere.
Somehow at this same time mom got on the phone with her younger brother. I think maybe she was calling him to begin with, then the roommate called, and there was this flurry of activity. Mom ended up on both the house phone and her cellphone at the same time for a few minutes. My younger uncle could hear me in the background and was upset to find out he was on speakerphone--"You have to let people know that they're being listened to and transcribed, you know." I told him, don't worry, I'm not transcribing you. (Paraphrasing is different.) That conversation lasted a while and I listened in on a fair amount of it. Kudos to my uncle for saying we need to do something now while grandma has a say in the matter, rather than when she doesn't have a choice.
One o'clock comes along. I make our weekly phone call. The phone still rings and rings. I tried again a few minutes later; same. By now mom has showered and is getting dressed and...packing a bag? She didn't really want to go into the city but wanted to be prepared in case she wasn't coming home tonight. O...kay... But she was deliberately being poky, and about 1:30 the phone rings--and it's grandma! Holy cow. There you are! And of course she's like, I've been here all along, essentially.
Thank goodness for our weekly one o'clock call. Mom had figured, if she knew it was Sunday, if we didn't call at 1 PM that something would be up and she would try to call us. That's exactly what happened. She tried to call a couple times and kept getting a weird message and not getting through to us. Finally she listened to the message and called the number mentioned in it. Turns out her bill hadn't been paid in four months and her phone was shut off. She did get a new debit card recently and it finally must've stopped working for her autopayment on the phone. This was confusing to her, because she kept saying, I use it at the grocery store just fine! She didn't seem to grasp that yes, your new card is valid...but they had your old card info which is not valid any longer. Otherwise, she sounded like herself, and she was surprised to discover we were all in a tizzy and that it was my older uncle who started it all off. We told her to call him right away. Mom then texted her younger brother to let him know all was well, and we were very thankful she hadn't left yet.
My younger uncle replied that we can't keep doing this. We have to have a way to be in touch with her even if her phone stops working, because as he saw last week, even the simplest of smartphones is difficult for her to navigate. She keeps turning the ringer on her phone down or even off, so that she can't hear it, and that causes her issues. When grandma visited him last week, he brought up moving out that way again, and talked about the apartments that are about 10 minutes from him and I think under $2000 a month, as well as looking at the senior home near him, but that was $3700 a month and she completely shut down on the topic at that point. I know she is independent and has been for several decades at this point, but she's going to have to face her reality. She should not be living on her own any longer. And no, a normal apartment isn't going to cut it.