Aunt D is in hospice
This was the news I received last Tuesday morning, during breakfast. I was only a few spoonfuls away from finishing my bowl of cereal, and I had to stop for a few minutes.
Dad had heard from my cousin. The last update I'd gotten, back a few weeks ago, Aunt D was in the hospital after having fluid build-up in her legs. Now, she decided to stop her treatments and go home. She was on number 7 of 10, I think he said. She was going into a form of hospice care.
This was not what I wanted to hear. She's the closest of all my aunts, owing in part to all the time I spent at her house back in the day. It was my own house, my mother's parents' house, then hers, in part because my grandma lived with them starting from when I was about 4, until she herself went into hospice care at the start of 1997. I also realized this morning, while at work, that every adult that lived in that house has come down with cancer in some form. My grandma, my uncle, and now Aunt D, not to mention my Uncle Stan, who briefly lived on the property, and my dog Josh, who lived with them while our house was getting built and my other grandparents' house wasn't big enough for him plus the rest of us. (Papa would've much preferred Josh over Gizmo, though.)
It makes me really sad to think I'll likely never see her again. I'm thankful, grateful, that I did get to see her this year. Normally we'd have had several family parties, in part due to SJ graduating from high school, but the only party we ended up having was for Kevin's son. And it was so nice of Aunt D to host the party so that we didn't have to drive down to Kankakee in January for the third year in a row. Everything was still normal back then. We were two months away from the virus taking hold and locking us down. It was like old times. I think I've remarked on this before, but Aunt D's new house reminds me a lot of the old house, the way the living and dining rooms are set up, and then the kitchen, with the bedrooms to the back. There's even a big picture window in the front. Even if the houses are completely different, and in different locations, there's enough of a similarity that it still has sort of a cozy childhood feeling to me.
I don't know where Aunt D is in her journey. I know she's in pain, which is unfortunate, and she gets tired a lot. Aunt S, in California, has called her and talked to her recently; dad has a text thread with her and Aunt T and two of Aunt T's daughters. Aunt S has also been in touch with Uncle Stan's wife, so she's aware of the situation. She's somewhat estranged from the family but I'm glad to hear someone has kept in touch with her. Also, Aunt D's sister, Double D, has come into town from Florida to be with her. I'm glad she has people who are able to spend time with her.
This year felt weird to me. It lines up with 2015, which was when my grandfather died. Coming up on November made me nervous, and I even verbalized that at work recently. It was shortly after I said that that I found out about Aunt D. Her birthday is right after mine, the day before Thanksgiving, and I wonder, is she even going to make it to her birthday? Will she get more holidays with her family? Her little grandson is three and a half. I was a little younger than him when my paternal grandfather, known as Tata, died; I have no memories of him. I hate the thought of my cousin's son having no memories of his grandmother.
This is such a weird position to be in, knowing I may never see Aunt D again thanks to the current situation. I don't know that she's up for visitors anyway, but it's not like I can really go into her house and give her a hug or anything. What can I do? How do I express that she's been a special person in my life? This morning, I wrote her a card. I told her I love her and I miss her and I'm thankful for her. I've been thinking about it for a few days, and I considered sending her a birthday card, but I don't know that that's the right thing to send. I have blank notecards and wrote her using one of those. Time is of the essence; I wanted to be sure it went out today. I don't want to wait. I did that when Papa's brother was sick, and my letter got to him too late. His wife wrote me back and was very sweet, but it was upsetting that he didn't get to read it. I sent this along, knowing there's a possibility that Double D might read it to her sister, or something of that sort. That's fine. I put nothing in there that would be embarrassing or anything like that. I just need her to know that I'm thinking of her.
Dad had heard from my cousin. The last update I'd gotten, back a few weeks ago, Aunt D was in the hospital after having fluid build-up in her legs. Now, she decided to stop her treatments and go home. She was on number 7 of 10, I think he said. She was going into a form of hospice care.
This was not what I wanted to hear. She's the closest of all my aunts, owing in part to all the time I spent at her house back in the day. It was my own house, my mother's parents' house, then hers, in part because my grandma lived with them starting from when I was about 4, until she herself went into hospice care at the start of 1997. I also realized this morning, while at work, that every adult that lived in that house has come down with cancer in some form. My grandma, my uncle, and now Aunt D, not to mention my Uncle Stan, who briefly lived on the property, and my dog Josh, who lived with them while our house was getting built and my other grandparents' house wasn't big enough for him plus the rest of us. (Papa would've much preferred Josh over Gizmo, though.)
It makes me really sad to think I'll likely never see her again. I'm thankful, grateful, that I did get to see her this year. Normally we'd have had several family parties, in part due to SJ graduating from high school, but the only party we ended up having was for Kevin's son. And it was so nice of Aunt D to host the party so that we didn't have to drive down to Kankakee in January for the third year in a row. Everything was still normal back then. We were two months away from the virus taking hold and locking us down. It was like old times. I think I've remarked on this before, but Aunt D's new house reminds me a lot of the old house, the way the living and dining rooms are set up, and then the kitchen, with the bedrooms to the back. There's even a big picture window in the front. Even if the houses are completely different, and in different locations, there's enough of a similarity that it still has sort of a cozy childhood feeling to me.
I don't know where Aunt D is in her journey. I know she's in pain, which is unfortunate, and she gets tired a lot. Aunt S, in California, has called her and talked to her recently; dad has a text thread with her and Aunt T and two of Aunt T's daughters. Aunt S has also been in touch with Uncle Stan's wife, so she's aware of the situation. She's somewhat estranged from the family but I'm glad to hear someone has kept in touch with her. Also, Aunt D's sister, Double D, has come into town from Florida to be with her. I'm glad she has people who are able to spend time with her.
This year felt weird to me. It lines up with 2015, which was when my grandfather died. Coming up on November made me nervous, and I even verbalized that at work recently. It was shortly after I said that that I found out about Aunt D. Her birthday is right after mine, the day before Thanksgiving, and I wonder, is she even going to make it to her birthday? Will she get more holidays with her family? Her little grandson is three and a half. I was a little younger than him when my paternal grandfather, known as Tata, died; I have no memories of him. I hate the thought of my cousin's son having no memories of his grandmother.
This is such a weird position to be in, knowing I may never see Aunt D again thanks to the current situation. I don't know that she's up for visitors anyway, but it's not like I can really go into her house and give her a hug or anything. What can I do? How do I express that she's been a special person in my life? This morning, I wrote her a card. I told her I love her and I miss her and I'm thankful for her. I've been thinking about it for a few days, and I considered sending her a birthday card, but I don't know that that's the right thing to send. I have blank notecards and wrote her using one of those. Time is of the essence; I wanted to be sure it went out today. I don't want to wait. I did that when Papa's brother was sick, and my letter got to him too late. His wife wrote me back and was very sweet, but it was upsetting that he didn't get to read it. I sent this along, knowing there's a possibility that Double D might read it to her sister, or something of that sort. That's fine. I put nothing in there that would be embarrassing or anything like that. I just need her to know that I'm thinking of her.