I want my vitamin C
The radio station I listen to does something called the Lack of Intelligence Report. I was rather certain I'd be one of their next stories a little bit ago.
So, I woke up yesterday with a sore back and swollen glands. I knew the back was because I was hunched over playing with my phone Friday night, not wise, but I don't know why my glands were acting up. When Laura had texted me last night about Scarecrow Fest and said munchkin might be sick, I gave her the full disclosure about my glands--I didn't want her to feel bad if they'd had to cancel. I did take a dose of Dayquil before bed last night, so the glands weren't an issue today, though I definitely feel a bit off. There's some minor nose stuffage going on. Nothing too bad. I'm sure if I up my vitamin C, I can ward off the worst of it.
I happened to wake up in the middle of the night. I squinted and thought I saw a time that started with a 4 on my clock, but a bit later when I checked my Indiglo watch, it was it wasn't quite 2:30. Rats. My lack of good eyesight misread the time. I couldn't fall asleep for a while, until it really was after 4. I put the TV on (thanks, Parks & Rec, for keeping me company) and did a crossword puzzle to try and tire out my mind. I also said, hey, I have a new bottle of Airborne gummies; I should take one of those. I was down to one last Emergen-C gummy and felt like saving that for some reason. Problem: I couldn't get the cap to come off the Airborne bottle. Oh, man, am I now so old I can't figure out the childproof bottles? Come on. Push down and turn shouldn't be so hard. Except, it was--instead of catching on the threads, I would just hear this snap-snap-snap sound as I cranked the cap around. I gave up and left it for the light of day.
Even in the daylight, the bottle was still being stupid. I wondered if the safety seal was somehow messing with things. I don't know. I've never had this happen. Well, believe me, if ever there was a time I needed something like this, it's now. I was determined to get into that bottle. I finished off the last Emergen-C gummy and realized I could put the Airborne gummies into there, seeing how I'd likely need to destroy the Airborne bottle to get those gummies out. I hatched a plan: I would heat up a razor blade using a long-handled candle lighter, and the razor would melt the plastic. ...Except I'd recently cleaned up part of my room and apparently put the lighter in a safe place that I cannot recall. Okay, plan B: Matches. I'll use a match to heat the razor blade.
I took everything into the bathroom, where there are some surfaces more conducive to this sort of thing (i.e., not terribly burny), and where water is readily available should I need it. I heated up the razor blade. You remember that metal conducts heat, right? And a razor blade isn't that big, right? Well, I couldn't get it super hot lest I burn my fingers, and it wasn't hot enough to melt through the plastic. It took me two matches to realize I'd need plan C: Take the match directly to the bottle. Get the plastic hot enough to melt, then I could slice the blade through it. ...And that didn't really work on the top of the bottle. However, the bottom was flat, not rounded, and perhaps I'd have a better shot there. Aha! Success! It took several rounds of heating the plastic until A) it clouded and B) the match flame nearly reached my fingers. I could then get the blade into the plastic a bit, but then it would cool down and harden back up and I'd have to light another match. Naturally, the fourth and final match I used on the bottom--seven matches altogether--had a defect and I couldn't get it to light right away. It took several swipes against the cover strip, and that last one, I'd pulled my hand away and toward myself, basically touching my hoodie, except OH CRAP it actually lit that time, and I spent a couple of seconds worriedly checking my abdomen to make sure I hadn't set myself on fire. All was well. And that ended up being the final melt I needed to be able to slice the bottom open and pull it up and away from the bottle, freeing the gummies. I then emptied them into the other container and I am good to go.
I may be sticking with the Emergen-C ones for a while after this incident.
So, I woke up yesterday with a sore back and swollen glands. I knew the back was because I was hunched over playing with my phone Friday night, not wise, but I don't know why my glands were acting up. When Laura had texted me last night about Scarecrow Fest and said munchkin might be sick, I gave her the full disclosure about my glands--I didn't want her to feel bad if they'd had to cancel. I did take a dose of Dayquil before bed last night, so the glands weren't an issue today, though I definitely feel a bit off. There's some minor nose stuffage going on. Nothing too bad. I'm sure if I up my vitamin C, I can ward off the worst of it.
I happened to wake up in the middle of the night. I squinted and thought I saw a time that started with a 4 on my clock, but a bit later when I checked my Indiglo watch, it was it wasn't quite 2:30. Rats. My lack of good eyesight misread the time. I couldn't fall asleep for a while, until it really was after 4. I put the TV on (thanks, Parks & Rec, for keeping me company) and did a crossword puzzle to try and tire out my mind. I also said, hey, I have a new bottle of Airborne gummies; I should take one of those. I was down to one last Emergen-C gummy and felt like saving that for some reason. Problem: I couldn't get the cap to come off the Airborne bottle. Oh, man, am I now so old I can't figure out the childproof bottles? Come on. Push down and turn shouldn't be so hard. Except, it was--instead of catching on the threads, I would just hear this snap-snap-snap sound as I cranked the cap around. I gave up and left it for the light of day.
Even in the daylight, the bottle was still being stupid. I wondered if the safety seal was somehow messing with things. I don't know. I've never had this happen. Well, believe me, if ever there was a time I needed something like this, it's now. I was determined to get into that bottle. I finished off the last Emergen-C gummy and realized I could put the Airborne gummies into there, seeing how I'd likely need to destroy the Airborne bottle to get those gummies out. I hatched a plan: I would heat up a razor blade using a long-handled candle lighter, and the razor would melt the plastic. ...Except I'd recently cleaned up part of my room and apparently put the lighter in a safe place that I cannot recall. Okay, plan B: Matches. I'll use a match to heat the razor blade.
I took everything into the bathroom, where there are some surfaces more conducive to this sort of thing (i.e., not terribly burny), and where water is readily available should I need it. I heated up the razor blade. You remember that metal conducts heat, right? And a razor blade isn't that big, right? Well, I couldn't get it super hot lest I burn my fingers, and it wasn't hot enough to melt through the plastic. It took me two matches to realize I'd need plan C: Take the match directly to the bottle. Get the plastic hot enough to melt, then I could slice the blade through it. ...And that didn't really work on the top of the bottle. However, the bottom was flat, not rounded, and perhaps I'd have a better shot there. Aha! Success! It took several rounds of heating the plastic until A) it clouded and B) the match flame nearly reached my fingers. I could then get the blade into the plastic a bit, but then it would cool down and harden back up and I'd have to light another match. Naturally, the fourth and final match I used on the bottom--seven matches altogether--had a defect and I couldn't get it to light right away. It took several swipes against the cover strip, and that last one, I'd pulled my hand away and toward myself, basically touching my hoodie, except OH CRAP it actually lit that time, and I spent a couple of seconds worriedly checking my abdomen to make sure I hadn't set myself on fire. All was well. And that ended up being the final melt I needed to be able to slice the bottom open and pull it up and away from the bottle, freeing the gummies. I then emptied them into the other container and I am good to go.
I may be sticking with the Emergen-C ones for a while after this incident.