February 26th is Michael Bolton's birthday, write it down. now.
here's a list of random things that I think about when I'm up this late and lonely without the sir..
-something to do when you get extremely bored: fill up your bathtub, then get in, turn on the shower and pretend you're in a submarine that's sprung a leak
-does turning into a werewolf hurt? in every werewolf movie, the guy looks like he's in agony when he turns into a wolf. I suppose all that hair coming out at once would be less than pleasent.
-I was eating e.l. fudge cookies (you know, the ones shaped like elves) and I realized something - there are 5 or 6 different elf shapes on the fronts of the cookies, but the backs are all the same. am I to believe that while each elf is unique and different up front, they all share an identical backside? not to mention the fact that they are all a uniform height. come on keebler, you're not even trying are you?
-I refuse to believe the characters of 'tiny toon adventures' are in college.
brief veiws on a few of these exciting new mascotts:
THE CHARMIN BEARS- absolutely wonderfull. I don't know why, but there is something gloriously endearing about cute cartoon bears talking about poop.
THE LABATT BLUE BEAR- while on the subject of bears, I must say that I also enjoy this furry fellow. a real ladies man, he's got a penchant for booze, sports, and women that don't belong to his species. from these commercials, I've also gathered that we chicks dig bear suits. score one for the furries
THE GEICO GECKO- in his earlier appearances, he was always pissed off because people kept calling him looking for geico. now, unexplainably, he apparently works for geico. I just don't get it? perhaps he's tearing the system down from the inside.
THE ARBYS OVEN MITT- he's got class, style, and attitude, but when it comes down to the nitty gritty, he's just a rip off of the old hamburger helper oven mitt man.
THE ORBITZ. COM PUPPETS- spawn of satan! I haven't seen anything so utterly terrifying since the old rudolph the red nosed reindeer cartoon with the snowman and the elph and that miner guy. they give me the heebiest of jeebies.
lastly..I will give anyone that can tell me what the fuck this is a reward of some sort
is it a cat? or a dog? or satan himself?!
whatever it is..
by looking at that glazed over look in its eyes
it's deaf.
no doubt about it.
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because I know you really care about what goes on in my life
I put the 12 in my lip tonight with no troubles.
hopefully it won't fuck around like last time
aanndd
my mom brought home a fucking racing greyhound.
we have 4 dogs now
but soon to have 5..
5 fucking dogs.
because she's bringing home another one
because the one that's here now
is lonely.
whatever, as long as it shuts the fuck up I guess.
she keeps it back in her part of the house
yes, that extra 40% of my house which is usually blocked off
that no one hardly ever gets to see
I think she's calling it gilligan or something?
I call it dog.
the thing is fucking huge
it's back comes up past my waist
and I was pretty pissed off at first.
I hated having 3 dogs to begin with.
but I went back there and let it out of its cage earlier
we bonded..
so I suppose it's a cool dog.
I can also make it wear the big blue muzzle if I want.
baahah.
I'm going to take them both out for a stroll around my hood
and scare everyone in my subdivision.
or perhaps somehow manage to strap a fake rabbit
onto the back of the annoying kid that horribly plays drums in his garage all day
then set the dogs loose.