(no subject)
i want to write something not so self-important and possibly not whiny. but all i can think is how tired i am. tired of things. tired of people. tired of situations.
i dunno. to look into the mirror behind me and see the one in front, everything is still the same. even with a roommate who sleepwalks, everything is the same. except that i am slowly inching toward taking my very real vow of silence.
and the next words to swim through my consciousness are "i feel" and frankly i am sick of how i feel. i don't care how i feel. it gets me nowhere and i feel it regardless of what i say or do. i feel a little existential right now, but that isn't quite right. i just kind of feel like "i am" more than "i feel." but feeling is being and being is feeling, so who cares. i still feel that the whole world should blink at the same time and then we can all come back to something that may be new and different. to simply come out and sound like a drug addict, i am convinced that the world only stays the way it is because we won't let it change. we tie it down with perceptions and beliefs and ideas, and because we are human we do that primarily by seeing. seeing is believing. if everyone slept from one sunset to the next, we would have no reason to believe that the sun actually rose again in the interim. of course someone would cheat. they would look. they would record and consequently see it later. but i mean, how can we know that something unexpected didn't happen if we couldn't see it. i suppose that we could hear it or smell it or touch it, but still, completely isolated, there is no reason to believe that anything would have any reason to stay the same.
sadly it seems that everything is the same. or at least is trapped on some prescibed vector. it kind of makes me hate inertia.
ugh, more of that annoying pseudo-intelligentia spews up. i dunno.
so i have gone to three classes so far. prof young seems very weird. he smiles a little too much but he doesn't seem too bad. the class seems full of your typical lazy, underachieving honors students.
my CogPsy class seems like it may be a blast. the teacher is super hot, which is never really a bad thing. and i only have to buy the one book. this class seems to be filled with the usual incredibly stupid, slow, question asking women that stuff ever psych class from wall to wall. something i am not at all happy about.
my final class has great potential. a prof full of humor and knowledge, who is thankfully nothing like his dreary wife,. a few fun, familiar faces, one returning nemesis, and one new prissy bitch to deal with. this is all snap judgment, so we'll see. but on the whole. this class seems like it could be really awesome.
side note: i need crayons and some white paper.
side note2: i dislike pretty much everyone.
side note3: no one answers the phone when i am alone.
i dunno. to look into the mirror behind me and see the one in front, everything is still the same. even with a roommate who sleepwalks, everything is the same. except that i am slowly inching toward taking my very real vow of silence.
and the next words to swim through my consciousness are "i feel" and frankly i am sick of how i feel. i don't care how i feel. it gets me nowhere and i feel it regardless of what i say or do. i feel a little existential right now, but that isn't quite right. i just kind of feel like "i am" more than "i feel." but feeling is being and being is feeling, so who cares. i still feel that the whole world should blink at the same time and then we can all come back to something that may be new and different. to simply come out and sound like a drug addict, i am convinced that the world only stays the way it is because we won't let it change. we tie it down with perceptions and beliefs and ideas, and because we are human we do that primarily by seeing. seeing is believing. if everyone slept from one sunset to the next, we would have no reason to believe that the sun actually rose again in the interim. of course someone would cheat. they would look. they would record and consequently see it later. but i mean, how can we know that something unexpected didn't happen if we couldn't see it. i suppose that we could hear it or smell it or touch it, but still, completely isolated, there is no reason to believe that anything would have any reason to stay the same.
sadly it seems that everything is the same. or at least is trapped on some prescibed vector. it kind of makes me hate inertia.
ugh, more of that annoying pseudo-intelligentia spews up. i dunno.
so i have gone to three classes so far. prof young seems very weird. he smiles a little too much but he doesn't seem too bad. the class seems full of your typical lazy, underachieving honors students.
my CogPsy class seems like it may be a blast. the teacher is super hot, which is never really a bad thing. and i only have to buy the one book. this class seems to be filled with the usual incredibly stupid, slow, question asking women that stuff ever psych class from wall to wall. something i am not at all happy about.
my final class has great potential. a prof full of humor and knowledge, who is thankfully nothing like his dreary wife,. a few fun, familiar faces, one returning nemesis, and one new prissy bitch to deal with. this is all snap judgment, so we'll see. but on the whole. this class seems like it could be really awesome.
side note: i need crayons and some white paper.
side note2: i dislike pretty much everyone.
side note3: no one answers the phone when i am alone.