(no subject)

[iamagoddess]

i have a problem dating nice guys. not just nice guys, really really nice guys who put up with me being a bitch to them for a year and a half. this guy derek has always liked me, hes spent the night numerous times before but nothings ever happened. hes always told me if i ever want anything to happen just let him know, he always complements me when he sees me, and ive told him before that i would just hurt him if anything were to happen. he knows im stubborn, and independent, and bitchy, and all those bad flaws, but he just puts up with it, and comes back for more... haha.i know he would treat me really well, but i dunno, i guess i dont want someone i can walk on. and i know i can walk on him. not like i do it on purpose, but when hes super nice to me, my reaction is to be a bitch sometimes. he came over on thursday to a party we had, and spent the night..... and then he kissed me..... and it was the biggest deal to him. i guess if i had been after for someone for longer then a year itd be a big deal too. everyone likes him, and thinks hes the nicest guy ever and cool, but for some reason... i just dont feel it. im a horrible person, and feel bad about the other night, but dont know what i should do..... and ill probably just be a bitch because thats what ive done to him in the past.

wow... i feel bad for guys right now... girls are so complicated. actually not... i guess im "just no that in to him..."