It was a delusion
I knew in my heart it was wrong. I knew she would never be mine. It would have been too good. It would have been too sweet.
I had to know to let go though it hurts me so much.
I was delusional. She said to me that we were only friends...but our actions said something else. I know she had to be hurt a little bit when I told her it was over but mostly I am sure the pain came from the fact that I would no longer give her the affection that I gave her, not necessarily because she cared for me. I was always there when she needed me, she was never there when I needed her.
In any case, the pain is all the same. I miss her anyway and I hate thinking she is no longer in my life. But I think love is recipircal, one can't love without being loved...it just doesn't work.
I had to know to let go though it hurts me so much.
I was delusional. She said to me that we were only friends...but our actions said something else. I know she had to be hurt a little bit when I told her it was over but mostly I am sure the pain came from the fact that I would no longer give her the affection that I gave her, not necessarily because she cared for me. I was always there when she needed me, she was never there when I needed her.
In any case, the pain is all the same. I miss her anyway and I hate thinking she is no longer in my life. But I think love is recipircal, one can't love without being loved...it just doesn't work.