I can't tell anyone I know, so I want you to know
During the past few days, posssibly weeks even, I have lived in the closest approximation to hell and it doesn't show on the outside. I've had these things for a long time, the crazy sounding ticks, but the physical debilitation and low mood are new to me and I'm both disturbed and irritated by them. I want them to go away at any cost.
1) heaviness and in limbs and mind. hard to move. sturggle to move. uncorrdinated .v ery dizzyy esp in morning, when i wake up. i nearly feel over this morning and tt made me v angry
2) can't think
3) can't remember any7thing
4) needless anger, i was so angry this morning. i wanted to crush everything.
5) numbness.
6) disconnection. as im in a glass cabinet
7) time seems to have stopped for me
8) the term finals are coming up in a few weeks time? 2 weeks? and i can be arsed to study
9) its self perpetuating
10) i cant trust myse;f anymore. couldnt even remember if i had spoken to a friend this agfternoon (i did in the end)
11) my delusions about poison are not new
12) the persistnet thought of my bedlinen on fire is quite new.
i'll add more things later
1) heaviness and in limbs and mind. hard to move. sturggle to move. uncorrdinated .v ery dizzyy esp in morning, when i wake up. i nearly feel over this morning and tt made me v angry
2) can't think
3) can't remember any7thing
4) needless anger, i was so angry this morning. i wanted to crush everything.
5) numbness.
6) disconnection. as im in a glass cabinet
7) time seems to have stopped for me
8) the term finals are coming up in a few weeks time? 2 weeks? and i can be arsed to study
9) its self perpetuating
10) i cant trust myse;f anymore. couldnt even remember if i had spoken to a friend this agfternoon (i did in the end)
11) my delusions about poison are not new
12) the persistnet thought of my bedlinen on fire is quite new.
i'll add more things later