008 |Accidental Video|

[iam_thebadwolf]

[The device flickers on to show the bathroom. There's a bathtub full of bubbles, a half glass of wine sitting on the edge of the tub and lit candles are scattered about. However, there's no sign of anyone in the bathroom or the tub. From the way the candles are guttering it's clear that they've been lit for a while. ]

DOC--[Rose's appearance is

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[am_i_being_rude]

[Normally Rose calling him makes him feel quite happy. Right now it somehow doesn't. He was actually in his room but he pokes his head out the door for a moment and then carefully comes around the corner into the room.]

You... called me?

[iam_thebadwolf]

[Oh good. He's here. She can go straight to lighting right into him. She whirls on her heel, storming at him now, finger pointed and preparing to jab him in the chest to punctuate all of the excellent points she's about to bring up.]

Do you have any idea how bloody difficult it was to get back to you? Do you know how many dimensions I ripped through? How many times I did that? Do you know how many wanker UNIT guys I tore into? How many hours I stayed up, just the TARDIS and me, strugglin' to figure out how to find you? I spent months without anybody knowin' my name because I was afraid of doin' more damage. I sent Donna into another dimension knowin' she was goin' to die and bein' all right with lettin' her die if it meant I could get back to you. I like Donna. I bleedin' adore her even.

[Lucky for the Doctor, she has to stop and breathe.]

[am_i_being_rude]

[He takes a couple of steps back when she starts rushing at him with that finger ready. He's obviously seen Rose angry, and even occasionally with him, but this is quite a new level.

He absolutely makes use of her needing a breath to try and defend himself. Which would be much easier if he could actually think of a rebuttal.]

Rose! It was necessary! If you know what happened you know why I did it. And we're both here now anyway!

[iam_thebadwolf]

No! You can't do that. You don't have the right to do that. I had a life planned out with you. Not a guy who looks like you but can't ever be you. You never asked if I wanted to clean up the mess you'd made. I did that once with your other regeneration. [And she adores the ninth him, loves him even] You were my...I made a difference and I got to see that difference in you everyday.

[She takes a moment to take a quick breath and it's just long enough for the anger to draw back a bit and expose all the hurt that's really under there.]

You replaced me and then you tried to make that all right 'cause you thought you could replace you too.

[am_i_being_rude]

[Oh, that makes him go all quiet for a good number of moments.]

I didn't replace you. I couldn't replace you even if I'd been working on it. We felt exactly the same way about you, he was just a couple years behind and without the aging problem. And he could actually tell you.

[iam_thebadwolf]

Exactly! [She yells that at him as if it's a revelation that he should understand completely.]

He could say he loved me! He would get old with me! He only had one heart! He wasn't you. Don't you think that would make a difference?

[And then she's quiet a moment.]

And he doesn't kiss like you. He doesn't taste like you or feel like you. I'd be pretendin' and not very good at that.

[am_i_being_rude]

I thought it would be better!

[Said just shy of having raised his voice in return. The rest is more normal.]

I can't help that part. Honestly, I thought it was what the right thing to do.

[iam_thebadwolf]

Next time, wait around two seconds and ask me! Let me decide what's better for me! I know I'm not some Time Lord that can see the whole of time and everything that could, would or might be but I'm not thick! I know who I want to spend my life with.

[She just stares at him, tears filling her eyes as she lets his words sink in.]

So when we go back...all of this [She gestures between them] That's better. I get him and you...[collect more companions. She bites those words off. She doesn't want to say them out loud because she knows how much he needs someone human with him. She just wants it to always be her.]

[am_i_being_rude]

That's not what I meant. You would have had to leave one of us either way - this way seemed... I don't know. Eventually you'd have been happier, I thought. And wouldn't have had to choose.

[He can tell where that's going anyway.] There wasn't anyone after that. Just me. And then here, after.

[iam_thebadwolf]

Just for the record, you're wrong. I don't know what you do with him...take him with us? Let Mum help out. Find me that doesn't know there's a difference between you and him. I helped you before us. I could help him out too. Did you even care that you were leavin' me. After everything I'd done? Did you really think I did it to save the Universe? Do you remember what I told you on that beach when you told me it'd rip the Universe apart to be there with me? Did you think I was bein' a stupid human who had no idea what she was sayin'? [Those are a lot of questions. She realizes this and she does know there's no perfect solution to deal with metacrisis!Doctor. She just doesn't want to be left behind.]

Answer me, Doctor. When we go home. When we get out of this City, are you goin' to leave me with him again. [Her words are very tight, measured and controlled. It's the only way she's going to be able to cope.]

[am_i_being_rude]

Of course I cared! I didn't want to do it, I just didn't see another option. It wasn't like he just happened to be some convenient way to drop you somewhere I could never get back to you again - I didn't want any of you to leave at all. You, him, even Jackie could have stayed forever if I'd thought the universe could have handled it, but it was already bursting as it was.

Not if I can help it. [Oh that didn't sound quite right. He's just not sure whether now is really the greatest time to tell her he was dying when he got here.] I'm not leaving you a third time if that's what you mean.

[iam_thebadwolf]

So we fix it! If the Universe is burstin' already then we fix it. That's what we do, innit? We don't--[She stops, biting the side of her cheek hard, trying to focus and avoid becoming a mess of tears. Crying is never a neat affair for Rose.] Don't leave the people we care about.

[She covers her mouth with her hand, taking deep breaths. Regenerating again she can deal with. She met the next regeneration of him during visitors weekend. Not exactly her type but still him.] Are you sure? I can't do that again. I won't do that again, Doctor.

[am_i_being_rude]

[He really can't argue with her there; everything she just said was perfectly true, even if what he did technically was fixing it. Not for either of them though, clearly. He swallows hard and nods a bit.]

No, I'm not. I can tell you I won't willingly do it, but I can't guarantee it won't. The universe will have one very angry Doctor to deal with. Might actually destroy it myself. [If the Time Lord Triumphant was anything to go by.]

[iam_thebadwolf]

[She loses a bit of a battle with the tears and it takes her a moment to get control of them. She takes a step back away from him.]

Just come get me before you do, yeah? [Her voice cracks a little when she says it. She still feels betrayed and hurt and like everything they did here has fallen apart despite the fact that she knows he left her on that beach before the City, for him. She feels like she's going to be put right back in this position again and she can't do that.]

[am_i_being_rude]

I'm not going to do it again on purpose, Rose - if I have the chance to get you then I'm not letting you go. [He honestly meant he wasn't sure because the first time he lost her it was an accident. Technically. He wants to close the distance she just put between them but at the same time isn't sure if she won't just put more there if he does.]

I didn't... Know, then, what I know now. There was still some measure of faith. In something else, I dunno. There's just the one thing now, hasn't let me down. But when we get back, if I'm alive, I'm not leaving you.

[iam_thebadwolf]

[Honestly, she's not sure what she'd do either if he closed the distance between them. He sounds upset, looks upset and that is hard for her to handle. There's some instinct in her that wants to fix it when he's upset. She doesn't know if she can fix this because she's terrified he's pushing her away.]

And if you regenerate?