(no subject)
she sat down and i saw the pain in her eyes. i don't want to stand in the way of her happiness with my petty selfish comforts. its time that i sacrifice something of mine for her benefit.....seeing as it has forever been the other way around. this is life changing.
never before has she asked me how i would feel about her and dad splitting up. never before has she laid the consequences out for me and asked for my opinion. never before has she been this close to actually doing it.
maybe this is just another bad time......although they are becoming far more frequent and longer lasting.
its interesting that i can not possibly imagine myself living with just dad......yet living with just mum seems...well, almost normal. i have no connection with dad anyway, he has no interest or even concept as to what my life is like - so what difference would it make if he wasn't there. mum has made that same assumption, that i would live with her - and its the right one.
i know i have freaked out about this happening a few times.....and each time it has been resolved to the point where existance for mum was semi-bearable.....and each time i didn't think that it would......but i don't know - this seems different. mum's discussing the logical practicalities of it all with me, and not just flinging emotions around.
hmm.... i dont know what to think.
never before has she asked me how i would feel about her and dad splitting up. never before has she laid the consequences out for me and asked for my opinion. never before has she been this close to actually doing it.
maybe this is just another bad time......although they are becoming far more frequent and longer lasting.
its interesting that i can not possibly imagine myself living with just dad......yet living with just mum seems...well, almost normal. i have no connection with dad anyway, he has no interest or even concept as to what my life is like - so what difference would it make if he wasn't there. mum has made that same assumption, that i would live with her - and its the right one.
i know i have freaked out about this happening a few times.....and each time it has been resolved to the point where existance for mum was semi-bearable.....and each time i didn't think that it would......but i don't know - this seems different. mum's discussing the logical practicalities of it all with me, and not just flinging emotions around.
hmm.... i dont know what to think.