LOG: 13 July 2008, or is it 1998... or 2018?
WHO: happybeinggreen, bark-enchiladas, ialwayshadasoul, eyesocketparty, wicca-w0man
WHAT: Waking up in the past... or is it the future?
WHEN: the morning of the TYL, bendy BRAWL time, of course. Making it of the 13th.
WHERE: Dienw
WHY: It was fun. There is freaking out. LOTS.
The door to Fred's old room burst off it's hinges, and Fredyria, with her mismatched eyes and thunderous expression of doom, stepped through.
Lorne yelped, hiding behind his pillow a moment, before poking his head around, giving her a nervous smile. "Sunshine!", he said, "Well, there you are, I'm been looking all over for you!"
"Explain why I'm in that room, Lorne, before I get out the toaster."
Oh god, not the toaster, anything but the toaster! "Well, Honey", the demon cleared his throat, "Um...I woke up in my old room...and..um.. Spike and Angel are in ours. I so did not invite them"
"The place stinks of a time-space interdimensional shift," she commented, walking up to him, grabbing the pillow, and hitting him over the head with it. "Now we have to burn the bed."
Lorne ducked his head as he was bapped with the pillow. "Yes, burn it good, lots of the....", he blinked, "Time-space interdimensional shift? Honey, you haven't been playing with time again, have you?"
She tilted her head and stared at him. "Not intentionally. Causing a time-space interdimensional shift in my condition would likely result in BAD THINGS HAPPENING TO THE BABY! Like, extra heads."
"Yes, Dear", said Lorne, giving a nervous chuckle, well, he was used to the outbrusts now, at least, "And we don't want bad things like extra heads".
He paused, glancing around.
"Is it just me, or does this place look...like it did back then?"
"Tentacles would be alright then, perhaps then the rightful power will be pres..." Fredyria paused and looked around. "I DIDN'T DO IT!"
"Tentacles?", asked Lorne, blinking, before raising his hands, "Oh no no no, Sunshine, I don't think you did it, because that would be crazy talk. Myabe it's...something else?"
"Let's blame Manabe."
Lorne blinked, considered, then chuckled. "That's actually kinda likely", he considered, "Given his track record"
"He would do something like that. And Connor. Xander would cheer them on and stay far away from the likelihood of fallout."
"Yeah, cackling and talking on their fake radios", Lorne frowned, then sighed as the bed strated creacking across the hall, "Oh come on, they've been here five freaking minutes!"
"You didn't expect this?" Fredyria asked before smirking and heading for the kitchen. "Waffles." she decided. "With limes."
Lorne groaned, turning his back on the vampires. "I'll have to repaint and everything", he said, before nodding, "Uh huh, limey waffles, delciously limely"
"With edible phallic symbols," she clarified.
Lorne blinked. ".......Oh....kay", he said slowly, "That's... well that's a new one"
She waved her bluish hand, trying to think of th right word. "Sausages."
"OH!", Lorne laughed, "For a second there....yes, sausages are good"
"I prefer your reproductive pleasure organs where they are. Why are the boys screaming."
"Thanks, Honey, that really does mean the world to me", Lorne chuckled, before arching a brow, "Maybe they grew tentacles"
"Again?"
"Well, it was so gosh darn fun with first time around", Lorne chuckled, bumping her shoulder with his gently, "And they soon stopped screaming"
"Because they found them useful," she reminded.
Lorne chuckled ruefully. "That's what I was hinting at", he said, then winced, "Ow. Xander's voice is considerably more girly than usual"
"Should we look in on them?"
Lorne listened to more screaming. "....Do we have to?"
"Xander sounds distressed, and not in the 'do that again' sort of way either," Fredyria frowned, wrinkling her nose a little.
Lorne glanced at her, before giving a sigh. "Alright", he said, heading to the door, "Just remember, what is seen cannot be unseen"
"Mmm..." Connor yawned and stretched, then curled up next to Xander. Maybe he'd sleep in today.
Xander smiled to himself, snuggling next to the nice, warm, snuggly body. Hmm, snuggles were.....his brain went into quickfire startup and he opened two eyes, staring at the long hair. Long hair. Oh god, he was sure he'd remember and event like this. Big note in the mental calendar."Um......", he cleared his throat, that didn't look like Cordy....oh god, Cordy was going to kill him. Kill him like a rat!
Connor nuzzled him, mouthing his throat as he tended to do in the morning when it was obvious Xander wasn't going back to sleep. Next would be a wee nip, then a travel down his bod.... wait. Why did Xander smell utterly human? Connor froze.
At the same time, Xander came to the horrible realisation that he was naked. Naked in bed with a guy. He acted accordingly, as set down by the rulebook of 'What To Do When You Find Yourself Naked In Bed With Another Guy'. "ARGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
Connor jumped back and covered sensative ears. "What the hell, Xan???"
"AGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!", continued Xander, before flailing and falling off the bed, "Whatzits? Whoozists? Have I been captured? Or....or....brainwashed? IS IS ZOMBIES?!!!"
"WHEN DID YOU GROW YOUR EYE BACK????"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN GROW IT BACK?", screamed Xander, "IT'S ALWAYS BEEN THERE!!! WHY AM I NAKED?!!!"
"BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS SLEEP NAKED!!!"
"NO I DON'T!!", he yelped, "AND WHO ARE YOU?!"
"I'm one of your spouses, you dumbass - how much did you DRINK last night? AND, where are the girls?" Connor frowned, looking around.
Xander whimpered. "Girls?", he asked, then squeaked, "Spouses? Nuh-uh! Not possible I'm only seventeen! I'm still in high school! WHERE'S BUFFY? She'll kick your ass!"
"Thirty-seven, how much did you drink? I told Lorne not to let you at the periwinkle again. I'm going to have to yell at him." Connor frowned and got out of bed, rummaging around for his clothes. "Buffy's in Malaysia with this month's girlfriend."
"Girlfriend?", Xander laughed hysterically, "Don't be stupid, she's dating Angel...or she was before he went evil. And I am NOT thirty seven. Do I look thirty seven? I THINK NOT!"
Connor looked at him like he grew another head with his regrown eyeball.
Xander started laughing hysterically, pulling on his clothes....which were too big for him. "Okay, something seriously bad is going on here", he said, "I've been kidnapped by demons again! Where's Willow? She's save.....". He looked out of the window. "That is NOT Sunnydale"
"London, duh. We've been here a little over ten years. I swear to God, if that new Corexicallian bartender slipped you something, I'm going to rip a few arms off," he grumbled, pulling his clothes on.
"London?", Xander squeaked, "AS IN, HELLO, PISH POSH TISH TOSH TALLY HO GILES LAND?!!"
"He's in mozam-" Connor stopped when the door opened, and Fredyria looked in.
"I wish to know the source of your distress... where are River and Gwen?" she frowned.
"No idea," Connor frowned. "That Corexicallian mindwiped Xander... and his eye's back... and he smells weird."
Lorne glanced in and frowned. "His aura's all off, and Barry promised he wouldn't do that anymore"
Xander took one look at Lorne and Fredyria and started to scream. "DEMONS!!! I KNEW IT!!! I'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED BY DEMONS!!!"
Connor ignored him, "He says he's a teenager."
Fredyria tilted her head, looking at Xander. "Hm."
Lorne arched a brow. "Xander....honey..."
"OH MY GOD IT KNOWS MY NAME!!!", Xander scrabbled about, "I know the Slayer! She'll kill you all!!!"
Fredyria rolled her eyes, "No she won't. None of the Slayers will, we have sanctuary."
Connor grabbed Xander and made him sit down. "Stop talking," he told him.
"There's only one, Kendra died", frowned Xander, then yelped, trying to fight against him, "I WANT TO GO BACK TO SUNNYDALE!"
"Thousands," she corrected.
"Uh, no you don't, Xan," Connor said.
"HAHAHAHAHAM CRAZY BLUE LADY!", laughed Xander, then whimpered, "Yes I do, it's where my home and friends are"
"Ummm...no, Sunnydale is a great big ol crater", Lorne pointed out.
"Dontpissoffthepregnantgoddess!" Connor rushed out, getting between her and the human-scented Xander just in time to take a neck-snapping hit. "Ow."
"Your husband will show respect," she demanded. "Step aside."
Xander yelped, trying to scurry under the bed.
Lorne sighed, walking over to Fredyria and brushing a hand through her hair soothingly. "Remember that thign we talked about?", he asked, "Counting to ten and taking deep breaths?"
"Ten is an insufficient number. I don't like things changing when I'm asleep, all scrambled smells and auras."
"No, I don't either, but lets do that nice calming breath thing and not kill our family members, okay?", Lorne still soothed her hair, "Iiiiiiin and ouuuuut"
"Our descendant is restless," she grit her teeth.
"C'mon, Xan, get out from under there, maybe when we find the girls, Gwen can shock some sense into you."
Lorne chuckled, kissing the top of her head. "Probably hungry, come on, you can eat meat and your limey waffles of doom"
"NOT COMING OUT!", screamed Xander.
"He needs his vocal chords cut," Fredyria grumbled and followed him out.
Connor sighed and sat on the floor beside the bed. "Stop screaming."
"Yes, Honey, lots of the cutting", said Lorne, herding her away.
"NOT UNTIL I FIND OUT WHY YOU WANT ME", screamed Xander
Connor got up and shut the door behind them, and sat back on the floor again. "Well, let's see. We've been together nearly eleven years, married almost half of that. I love you to distraction. And you're really starting to worry me."
Xander blinked at him, both eyes wide in fright. "You have me confused with someone else. I...I'm seventeen, I go to Sunnydale High School, last year, I met the Slayer and got dragged into a world of demons and vampires, three of which are currently terrorising Sunnydale as we speak"
"No," Connor said patiently. "You're thirty-seven. Sunnydale has been gone a little over a decade or so, the Hell-mouth imploded. There's more than one Slayer because Willow did a funky spell, and there are some good ones, demons and vampires I mean, among all the bad. God knows it took me long enough to come to terms with THAT one."
Xander laughed hysterically. "But I was just IN Sunnydale!", he yelped, "Angelus tried to EAT me!"
"You've got to be joking," Connor snorted. "Dad hasn't tried to eat anyone in ages."
"Dad?", Xander squeaked out.
"Yeeeeah." Connor paused, "And don't call him Angelus - you know he goes by Angel anymore."
Xander laughed. "Yeeeeeees, but then he lost his soul and was all 'HAH HAH, I'M EVIL NOW!' and I said 'I TOLD YOU SO' and they yelled at me OH GOD I WANT TO GO HOME"
"Okay, deep breaths, Xan."
Xander began taking deep breaths, his eyes darting about. "I want Willow"
"I'll Phone her, if you get out from under the bed."
Xander shuffled, getting out from under the bed. "Okey"
"Okay," Connor said, squeezing his shoulder before getting out his mobile and dialing the redheaded witch.
"Thank you", Xander wibbled. After a few moments, Willow answered.
"Hidelyho?"
"Hey Willow, it's Connor - Xander's brain's fried or something, he thinks he's seventeen."
"Did he bang his head again?", asked Willow with a long suffering sigh.
"No idea, we woke up and he was screaming... also, do you know where our wives went, they're AWOL as well."
"Wives?", asked Willow, "What wives?"
"River and Gwen, remember? You were Xander's Witch of Honour."
"I....ummm....riiight", Willow considered, "Have you guys been....experimenting with.....you know...drugs?"
"I suspect the new bartender gave Xander something it shouldn't have, but not that I know of. Hell, you've coined us the Freaky Foursome on more than one occasion. You sure you didn't have something funny?"
"I'm sure", said Willow, ".....Honey, you're not married, you're, like, twenty one"
"Thirty-one," he corrected her. "Look at a calender, Willow, it's twenty-eighteen."
Connor sighed, "Great, he goes back twenty years, you're back ten... Next I'll have someone popping up from Quor-Toth for tea and scones."
"Um...no", Willow said, "YOU look at a calendar, it's twenty-oh-eight. Seriously. Go find one. Find one now"
"...Sure hang on, I'll hand you off to Xander." Connor did that, then headed out to the kitchen.
"WILLOW SAVE ME!", screeched Xander.
"Xander shhhhhhhh", said Willow, "Deep breaths. I give up. I really do"
A minute later, there was a very loud, "BPED DPA VOKC!"
"The crazy man is screaming", said Xander in a far off voice.
The door burst open and Connor ripped the phone out of Xander's hand. "Willow. What's. Going. On."
"I don't know, you tell me", said Willow, "I'm in normal time, you two have gone in opposite directions. Did you drink ANYTHING weird?"
"NO. I don't think so. Dad and Spike, and Lorne and Fredyria are all normal for me. It's just you and Xander off."
"Hey, no I'm not", Willow shook her head, "I'll see if there's any spells been cast lately"
"Thanks. This is just," Connor went off on a rant in a very non-earth-originated language, before taking a deep breath. "I know I'm not crazy, I've still got my wedding ring on, and their names are still on it, so I KNOW I'm married. He doesn't even know me," he finished quietly. "I thought, after everything..."
"Shhhh", Willow soothed, "We'll get to the bottom of this, okay? Just..if he thinks he's seventeen, well, he was a bit of a wuss back then, just...keep him calm and put him into things slowly"
Connor went into the corner, "He keeps threatening slayers," he whispered. "What happens when he remembers I'm not human?"
"Look, I'll keep control of the Slayers, I promise", she said, "You're considered a non hostile target, no one will come after you"
"Unless Buffy's lost her mind too," he muttered.
"No, she's here, and fine", said Willow, "Seriously, the only issue we have here is Dawn turning into a Centaur"
"I forgot about that!" he chuckled. "Alright, I'll trust you on this - just... yeah." He glanced over at Xander, worried out of his mind.
"But I haven't told yo.....", Willow shook it off, "I'll get to the bottom of this, just...one step at a time with him, kay?"
"Sure, easy peasy, just roleplay backwards what he did for me when we met, yeah?"
"Exactly that", Willow nodded, "Take care of each other, I'll let you know soon as something comes up"
"Thanks." He shut his phone and looked at Xander. "Okay, tell you what. I'll move back into my old room, once we've gotten you some breakfast."
"Breakfast?", Xander squeaked, "Food...food is good"
"I'll try to get some out of there and bring it back for you so you don't have to deal with everyone else, kay? Willow's looking into whatever happened, she'll figure it out - she usually does."
"Okey, yes...Willow's good at that", Xander nodded, staying rooted to the spot.
"Right, uhm... Okay, I'll go get that for you, then." Connor slipped out.
Xander nodded, glacning at the unfamiliar skyline out of the window, hoping this was some trippy nightmare.
As he shut the door quietly behind him, Connor really hoped that when he found River and Gwen, they hadn't forgotten him, too.
WHAT: Waking up in the past... or is it the future?
WHEN: the morning of the TYL, bendy BRAWL time, of course. Making it of the 13th.
WHERE: Dienw
WHY: It was fun. There is freaking out. LOTS.
The door to Fred's old room burst off it's hinges, and Fredyria, with her mismatched eyes and thunderous expression of doom, stepped through.
Lorne yelped, hiding behind his pillow a moment, before poking his head around, giving her a nervous smile. "Sunshine!", he said, "Well, there you are, I'm been looking all over for you!"
"Explain why I'm in that room, Lorne, before I get out the toaster."
Oh god, not the toaster, anything but the toaster! "Well, Honey", the demon cleared his throat, "Um...I woke up in my old room...and..um.. Spike and Angel are in ours. I so did not invite them"
"The place stinks of a time-space interdimensional shift," she commented, walking up to him, grabbing the pillow, and hitting him over the head with it. "Now we have to burn the bed."
Lorne ducked his head as he was bapped with the pillow. "Yes, burn it good, lots of the....", he blinked, "Time-space interdimensional shift? Honey, you haven't been playing with time again, have you?"
She tilted her head and stared at him. "Not intentionally. Causing a time-space interdimensional shift in my condition would likely result in BAD THINGS HAPPENING TO THE BABY! Like, extra heads."
"Yes, Dear", said Lorne, giving a nervous chuckle, well, he was used to the outbrusts now, at least, "And we don't want bad things like extra heads".
He paused, glancing around.
"Is it just me, or does this place look...like it did back then?"
"Tentacles would be alright then, perhaps then the rightful power will be pres..." Fredyria paused and looked around. "I DIDN'T DO IT!"
"Tentacles?", asked Lorne, blinking, before raising his hands, "Oh no no no, Sunshine, I don't think you did it, because that would be crazy talk. Myabe it's...something else?"
"Let's blame Manabe."
Lorne blinked, considered, then chuckled. "That's actually kinda likely", he considered, "Given his track record"
"He would do something like that. And Connor. Xander would cheer them on and stay far away from the likelihood of fallout."
"Yeah, cackling and talking on their fake radios", Lorne frowned, then sighed as the bed strated creacking across the hall, "Oh come on, they've been here five freaking minutes!"
"You didn't expect this?" Fredyria asked before smirking and heading for the kitchen. "Waffles." she decided. "With limes."
Lorne groaned, turning his back on the vampires. "I'll have to repaint and everything", he said, before nodding, "Uh huh, limey waffles, delciously limely"
"With edible phallic symbols," she clarified.
Lorne blinked. ".......Oh....kay", he said slowly, "That's... well that's a new one"
She waved her bluish hand, trying to think of th right word. "Sausages."
"OH!", Lorne laughed, "For a second there....yes, sausages are good"
"I prefer your reproductive pleasure organs where they are. Why are the boys screaming."
"Thanks, Honey, that really does mean the world to me", Lorne chuckled, before arching a brow, "Maybe they grew tentacles"
"Again?"
"Well, it was so gosh darn fun with first time around", Lorne chuckled, bumping her shoulder with his gently, "And they soon stopped screaming"
"Because they found them useful," she reminded.
Lorne chuckled ruefully. "That's what I was hinting at", he said, then winced, "Ow. Xander's voice is considerably more girly than usual"
"Should we look in on them?"
Lorne listened to more screaming. "....Do we have to?"
"Xander sounds distressed, and not in the 'do that again' sort of way either," Fredyria frowned, wrinkling her nose a little.
Lorne glanced at her, before giving a sigh. "Alright", he said, heading to the door, "Just remember, what is seen cannot be unseen"
"Mmm..." Connor yawned and stretched, then curled up next to Xander. Maybe he'd sleep in today.
Xander smiled to himself, snuggling next to the nice, warm, snuggly body. Hmm, snuggles were.....his brain went into quickfire startup and he opened two eyes, staring at the long hair. Long hair. Oh god, he was sure he'd remember and event like this. Big note in the mental calendar."Um......", he cleared his throat, that didn't look like Cordy....oh god, Cordy was going to kill him. Kill him like a rat!
Connor nuzzled him, mouthing his throat as he tended to do in the morning when it was obvious Xander wasn't going back to sleep. Next would be a wee nip, then a travel down his bod.... wait. Why did Xander smell utterly human? Connor froze.
At the same time, Xander came to the horrible realisation that he was naked. Naked in bed with a guy. He acted accordingly, as set down by the rulebook of 'What To Do When You Find Yourself Naked In Bed With Another Guy'. "ARGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
Connor jumped back and covered sensative ears. "What the hell, Xan???"
"AGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!", continued Xander, before flailing and falling off the bed, "Whatzits? Whoozists? Have I been captured? Or....or....brainwashed? IS IS ZOMBIES?!!!"
"WHEN DID YOU GROW YOUR EYE BACK????"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN GROW IT BACK?", screamed Xander, "IT'S ALWAYS BEEN THERE!!! WHY AM I NAKED?!!!"
"BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS SLEEP NAKED!!!"
"NO I DON'T!!", he yelped, "AND WHO ARE YOU?!"
"I'm one of your spouses, you dumbass - how much did you DRINK last night? AND, where are the girls?" Connor frowned, looking around.
Xander whimpered. "Girls?", he asked, then squeaked, "Spouses? Nuh-uh! Not possible I'm only seventeen! I'm still in high school! WHERE'S BUFFY? She'll kick your ass!"
"Thirty-seven, how much did you drink? I told Lorne not to let you at the periwinkle again. I'm going to have to yell at him." Connor frowned and got out of bed, rummaging around for his clothes. "Buffy's in Malaysia with this month's girlfriend."
"Girlfriend?", Xander laughed hysterically, "Don't be stupid, she's dating Angel...or she was before he went evil. And I am NOT thirty seven. Do I look thirty seven? I THINK NOT!"
Connor looked at him like he grew another head with his regrown eyeball.
Xander started laughing hysterically, pulling on his clothes....which were too big for him. "Okay, something seriously bad is going on here", he said, "I've been kidnapped by demons again! Where's Willow? She's save.....". He looked out of the window. "That is NOT Sunnydale"
"London, duh. We've been here a little over ten years. I swear to God, if that new Corexicallian bartender slipped you something, I'm going to rip a few arms off," he grumbled, pulling his clothes on.
"London?", Xander squeaked, "AS IN, HELLO, PISH POSH TISH TOSH TALLY HO GILES LAND?!!"
"He's in mozam-" Connor stopped when the door opened, and Fredyria looked in.
"I wish to know the source of your distress... where are River and Gwen?" she frowned.
"No idea," Connor frowned. "That Corexicallian mindwiped Xander... and his eye's back... and he smells weird."
Lorne glanced in and frowned. "His aura's all off, and Barry promised he wouldn't do that anymore"
Xander took one look at Lorne and Fredyria and started to scream. "DEMONS!!! I KNEW IT!!! I'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED BY DEMONS!!!"
Connor ignored him, "He says he's a teenager."
Fredyria tilted her head, looking at Xander. "Hm."
Lorne arched a brow. "Xander....honey..."
"OH MY GOD IT KNOWS MY NAME!!!", Xander scrabbled about, "I know the Slayer! She'll kill you all!!!"
Fredyria rolled her eyes, "No she won't. None of the Slayers will, we have sanctuary."
Connor grabbed Xander and made him sit down. "Stop talking," he told him.
"There's only one, Kendra died", frowned Xander, then yelped, trying to fight against him, "I WANT TO GO BACK TO SUNNYDALE!"
"Thousands," she corrected.
"Uh, no you don't, Xan," Connor said.
"HAHAHAHAHAM CRAZY BLUE LADY!", laughed Xander, then whimpered, "Yes I do, it's where my home and friends are"
"Ummm...no, Sunnydale is a great big ol crater", Lorne pointed out.
"Dontpissoffthepregnantgoddess!" Connor rushed out, getting between her and the human-scented Xander just in time to take a neck-snapping hit. "Ow."
"Your husband will show respect," she demanded. "Step aside."
Xander yelped, trying to scurry under the bed.
Lorne sighed, walking over to Fredyria and brushing a hand through her hair soothingly. "Remember that thign we talked about?", he asked, "Counting to ten and taking deep breaths?"
"Ten is an insufficient number. I don't like things changing when I'm asleep, all scrambled smells and auras."
"No, I don't either, but lets do that nice calming breath thing and not kill our family members, okay?", Lorne still soothed her hair, "Iiiiiiin and ouuuuut"
"Our descendant is restless," she grit her teeth.
"C'mon, Xan, get out from under there, maybe when we find the girls, Gwen can shock some sense into you."
Lorne chuckled, kissing the top of her head. "Probably hungry, come on, you can eat meat and your limey waffles of doom"
"NOT COMING OUT!", screamed Xander.
"He needs his vocal chords cut," Fredyria grumbled and followed him out.
Connor sighed and sat on the floor beside the bed. "Stop screaming."
"Yes, Honey, lots of the cutting", said Lorne, herding her away.
"NOT UNTIL I FIND OUT WHY YOU WANT ME", screamed Xander
Connor got up and shut the door behind them, and sat back on the floor again. "Well, let's see. We've been together nearly eleven years, married almost half of that. I love you to distraction. And you're really starting to worry me."
Xander blinked at him, both eyes wide in fright. "You have me confused with someone else. I...I'm seventeen, I go to Sunnydale High School, last year, I met the Slayer and got dragged into a world of demons and vampires, three of which are currently terrorising Sunnydale as we speak"
"No," Connor said patiently. "You're thirty-seven. Sunnydale has been gone a little over a decade or so, the Hell-mouth imploded. There's more than one Slayer because Willow did a funky spell, and there are some good ones, demons and vampires I mean, among all the bad. God knows it took me long enough to come to terms with THAT one."
Xander laughed hysterically. "But I was just IN Sunnydale!", he yelped, "Angelus tried to EAT me!"
"You've got to be joking," Connor snorted. "Dad hasn't tried to eat anyone in ages."
"Dad?", Xander squeaked out.
"Yeeeeah." Connor paused, "And don't call him Angelus - you know he goes by Angel anymore."
Xander laughed. "Yeeeeeees, but then he lost his soul and was all 'HAH HAH, I'M EVIL NOW!' and I said 'I TOLD YOU SO' and they yelled at me OH GOD I WANT TO GO HOME"
"Okay, deep breaths, Xan."
Xander began taking deep breaths, his eyes darting about. "I want Willow"
"I'll Phone her, if you get out from under the bed."
Xander shuffled, getting out from under the bed. "Okey"
"Okay," Connor said, squeezing his shoulder before getting out his mobile and dialing the redheaded witch.
"Thank you", Xander wibbled. After a few moments, Willow answered.
"Hidelyho?"
"Hey Willow, it's Connor - Xander's brain's fried or something, he thinks he's seventeen."
"Did he bang his head again?", asked Willow with a long suffering sigh.
"No idea, we woke up and he was screaming... also, do you know where our wives went, they're AWOL as well."
"Wives?", asked Willow, "What wives?"
"River and Gwen, remember? You were Xander's Witch of Honour."
"I....ummm....riiight", Willow considered, "Have you guys been....experimenting with.....you know...drugs?"
"I suspect the new bartender gave Xander something it shouldn't have, but not that I know of. Hell, you've coined us the Freaky Foursome on more than one occasion. You sure you didn't have something funny?"
"I'm sure", said Willow, ".....Honey, you're not married, you're, like, twenty one"
"Thirty-one," he corrected her. "Look at a calender, Willow, it's twenty-eighteen."
Connor sighed, "Great, he goes back twenty years, you're back ten... Next I'll have someone popping up from Quor-Toth for tea and scones."
"Um...no", Willow said, "YOU look at a calendar, it's twenty-oh-eight. Seriously. Go find one. Find one now"
"...Sure hang on, I'll hand you off to Xander." Connor did that, then headed out to the kitchen.
"WILLOW SAVE ME!", screeched Xander.
"Xander shhhhhhhh", said Willow, "Deep breaths. I give up. I really do"
A minute later, there was a very loud, "BPED DPA VOKC!"
"The crazy man is screaming", said Xander in a far off voice.
The door burst open and Connor ripped the phone out of Xander's hand. "Willow. What's. Going. On."
"I don't know, you tell me", said Willow, "I'm in normal time, you two have gone in opposite directions. Did you drink ANYTHING weird?"
"NO. I don't think so. Dad and Spike, and Lorne and Fredyria are all normal for me. It's just you and Xander off."
"Hey, no I'm not", Willow shook her head, "I'll see if there's any spells been cast lately"
"Thanks. This is just," Connor went off on a rant in a very non-earth-originated language, before taking a deep breath. "I know I'm not crazy, I've still got my wedding ring on, and their names are still on it, so I KNOW I'm married. He doesn't even know me," he finished quietly. "I thought, after everything..."
"Shhhh", Willow soothed, "We'll get to the bottom of this, okay? Just..if he thinks he's seventeen, well, he was a bit of a wuss back then, just...keep him calm and put him into things slowly"
Connor went into the corner, "He keeps threatening slayers," he whispered. "What happens when he remembers I'm not human?"
"Look, I'll keep control of the Slayers, I promise", she said, "You're considered a non hostile target, no one will come after you"
"Unless Buffy's lost her mind too," he muttered.
"No, she's here, and fine", said Willow, "Seriously, the only issue we have here is Dawn turning into a Centaur"
"I forgot about that!" he chuckled. "Alright, I'll trust you on this - just... yeah." He glanced over at Xander, worried out of his mind.
"But I haven't told yo.....", Willow shook it off, "I'll get to the bottom of this, just...one step at a time with him, kay?"
"Sure, easy peasy, just roleplay backwards what he did for me when we met, yeah?"
"Exactly that", Willow nodded, "Take care of each other, I'll let you know soon as something comes up"
"Thanks." He shut his phone and looked at Xander. "Okay, tell you what. I'll move back into my old room, once we've gotten you some breakfast."
"Breakfast?", Xander squeaked, "Food...food is good"
"I'll try to get some out of there and bring it back for you so you don't have to deal with everyone else, kay? Willow's looking into whatever happened, she'll figure it out - she usually does."
"Okey, yes...Willow's good at that", Xander nodded, staying rooted to the spot.
"Right, uhm... Okay, I'll go get that for you, then." Connor slipped out.
Xander nodded, glacning at the unfamiliar skyline out of the window, hoping this was some trippy nightmare.
As he shut the door quietly behind him, Connor really hoped that when he found River and Gwen, they hadn't forgotten him, too.