30 days
in 30 days, on the 30th of august, i'll be 30.
ever since i officially stepped into the late twenties category, i have always expected the day in which i turn a year older as an opportunity to make grand life-changing realizations. nothing of the sort has happened, unfortunately, and i think that i am still largely unsure of what it is that i really want to happen to me. even now that i am knocking on an age which a fleeting soul such as myself would dread as the deadline for not taking things seriously, i am afraid that i still cannot say whether or not i know where i am headed. it seems i have a general destination in mind, but i make spur-of-the-moment turns every now and then, that getting there is delayed by detours and unwise shortcuts. that i have an imagined destination isn't good enough. i should've mapped out my course from the very start.
but such is not the fate of someone who chooses to live life spontaneously. not many might agree with what i have just said, but my life is a lot less rigid, and a lot more random than most might think. but that it is a choice seems fairly clear. i do not necessarily believe in a pre-ordained destiny chosen by the stars. i am making my own destiny. and i have to get there soon.
since profound realizations and great epiphanies have escaped me these last few years, i might as well dismiss the idea that it is something organic or at the very least, naturally-occurring. since i am pressed for time, i might as well induce it. force myself to say something like, eureka!
so in the next 30 days, not necessarily every day, i have decided to make 30 random ruminations about my life so far. i have no idea how to go about it, or if i have any specific structure at the back of my mind, except that i hope, somewhere between today and 30 days later, on the day i turn 30, after i make 30 reflections about my ideas and views and beliefs and experiences, i would have found at least one of the threads that will lead me to where i should be headed.
i have taken many steps in this journey. i hope to have at least an idea how far or how near i am from my destination.
in 30 days, on the 30th of august, i'll be 30.
ever since i officially stepped into the late twenties category, i have always expected the day in which i turn a year older as an opportunity to make grand life-changing realizations. nothing of the sort has happened, unfortunately, and i think that i am still largely unsure of what it is that i really want to happen to me. even now that i am knocking on an age which a fleeting soul such as myself would dread as the deadline for not taking things seriously, i am afraid that i still cannot say whether or not i know where i am headed. it seems i have a general destination in mind, but i make spur-of-the-moment turns every now and then, that getting there is delayed by detours and unwise shortcuts. that i have an imagined destination isn't good enough. i should've mapped out my course from the very start.
but such is not the fate of someone who chooses to live life spontaneously. not many might agree with what i have just said, but my life is a lot less rigid, and a lot more random than most might think. but that it is a choice seems fairly clear. i do not necessarily believe in a pre-ordained destiny chosen by the stars. i am making my own destiny. and i have to get there soon.
since profound realizations and great epiphanies have escaped me these last few years, i might as well dismiss the idea that it is something organic or at the very least, naturally-occurring. since i am pressed for time, i might as well induce it. force myself to say something like, eureka!
so in the next 30 days, not necessarily every day, i have decided to make 30 random ruminations about my life so far. i have no idea how to go about it, or if i have any specific structure at the back of my mind, except that i hope, somewhere between today and 30 days later, on the day i turn 30, after i make 30 reflections about my ideas and views and beliefs and experiences, i would have found at least one of the threads that will lead me to where i should be headed.
i have taken many steps in this journey. i hope to have at least an idea how far or how near i am from my destination.
in 30 days, on the 30th of august, i'll be 30.