Alllllll I can do is stay-up, back as kids we used to kiss when we played truth or dare........
Ladies ladies ladies!
Hi ladies, how are you all today? Ahh good to hear, oh me, im fine thanks. Why yes I have been working out how kind of you to notice. Ive been working those stomach muscles with lots of hot sauce wings and beer. Yeah, my remote control finger is getting rather diesel. Would you like to have a thumb war? Of course of course I understand, it is an intimidating thumb if I do say so myself.
So yesterday, not a bad day. Work was work, BLAH. After work though, I went and got some sweet darts from Walmart. Who knew Walmart had some sweet ass darts for cheap. Mike knew thats who. I actually got the same exact ones as Mike which is sweet since those are the ones ive had the most luck with. Julia and Me also got some poker chips and those sweet ass Whooper Robin Eggs really cheap. I love those little candy egg things. You've got to go Whooper though, all other imitations taste like refried beans that someone put in a blender with bloody dog shit. Oh yeah, I said it, they dont even compare.
After Walmart it was a quick stop home for some missionary to reverse cow girl to cow girl to Fin. Then Julia and Me hightailed it over to New West to hit up some of those buffalo wings, you know the type, all chicken wing style, with like sauce, thats all like hot and flavorful, and like good and shiz. Last night wasnt so bad either, I think ive gotten a little better at these dart things and I might even actually get off my ass to put up that dart board in the basement. You dont haaaave to go to the bar to play darts because you dont haaaaaave to drink when you play. Of course, it takes the edge off, and drinking at home is now legal in 69 states so what the hell, fugit.
Home again to play some strip poker with the misses, which by the way I killed in. She was naked before she felt the natures breeze on her naked knees, and titties. I never lost all of my clothes before I ran out of chips. I guess that would make me, el numero uno #1, when it comes to strip poker that is. I think I like that game. I thought we were gonna get crazy then, but she took a brake from our naked fun to eat everything in sight and to watch freaky friday, which is the suck. So I gave up on sex and went to to find my weed that I had lost so conveniently about an hour ago. I really did loose it. I couldnt find it, turns out I had asked Dan to break some of my herb up for me for use in the vapo. I didnt think he was gonna actually do it, but he did, and it was in his room.
So I gave up and went back to my room to try to sleep. Now she is playful. I almost want to resist just cause I didnt feel like waiting for her to be a pig and watch the suckiest movie ever. How are you gonna turn down sex though, so WHAM BAM THANK YOU MA'AM, then it's back up, so WHAM BAM well you get the idea, one more time and then some cartoons to help bring on the sleepy times.
As for sleep, im still having long vivid dreams. Last night was another bloody gorey monster dream. It was mostly about a down syndrome Jason. I was good friends with this guy who was slowly turning into Jason. The thing was he seemed to get down syndrome first. Not the loud kind, the quite stupid type. He would walk around slow shuffling his feet with a cold stare in his eyes. He eventually dawned the trademark Jason hockey mask and got himself a machete. Seriously now, who gives a retard a machete? I would have given him a shotgun. You know hes gonna have slow weak swings that couldnt decapitate a hamster. Give the kid a sawed off and he at least injure something 2 out of three times. Im getting off track though. Jason started killing people and I would try to convince him it was a bad idea. He would hear nothing of it though and would hide out in his tree fort until it was time to kill again. Being the concerned friend that I am I decided to take Jason on a boat ride to have a talk with him. I rowed us out to this little dock on the other side of some lake and we got out. I sit him down against a wooden wall and ask him to remove his mask. He does and I start to tell him why he cant just go around killing everyone. Also that hes not a zombie and it's not like he needs to eat peoples brains. As im telling him this he rams his finger against a rusty nail sticking out of the wood and moves it all around making a bigger hole. Then he squeezes his finger and eats all blood and spare chunks that come out. Without skipping a beat I continue my conversation. Jason or whatever his name is looks at me confused, and then peels his face off. He scrapes all the chunky bloody goodness that is the inside of his face off and eats it. He never rips the skin aside from the ripping he did to get it off. After he licks it clean he slaps his face back on. I agree to disagree with him and we go back home. He can kill who ever he wants now. That was my dream.
That was my weird dream which was alot longer but I dont remember all the details and most of it was Down Syndrome Jason killing people. Strange though. every night it varies. Sex dream, gorey monster dream, sex dream, gorey monster dream. I love the gorey ones cause it's like the ultimate monster movie in your head, but tonight better be a sex one or i'll be pissed.
Oh yeah, almost forgot. So last night I had an slightly serious conversation about our relationship with Julia. It was also about cunnilingus. She was talking about eight years down the road and I asked her "where do you see yourself in eight years?". I dont remember the job stuff because I just wanted to see if she would throw me into her future. She said something about owning a house and her Mom and Dad living in it as well as me. I said jokingly, "Eight years! I wont still be with you in eight years if you dont let me go down on you, I dont think I can even make it the rest of this year". Which was one of the first times I think I made it apparent how imperative to our relationship cunnilingus is. She then said, "If you broke up with me for that I would never forgive you, that would be the dumbest thing ever".(quick interjection: I wouldnt want to be forgiven, I wouldnt care, when it comes to break up's I can be a heartless bastard, but thats the only way i'll get over it, if I just end it and dont look back). So I had to explain to her how it wasn't dumb. That I wasn't being fully satisfied and theres no way I could go on for the rest of my life unsatisfied. No friggin way in hell. She didnt seem to happy about that, but then we had sex, so it was all good. Sadly I have a feeling that will be the reason we eventually break up. DERP!!
Oh and please, for the good of your future children, click on this-http://www.nationallampoon.com/nl/08_features/deadparents/deadparents.asp
Well thats it for now, comment or die, and be honest, do you think this post needed more light saber?
May the glove be with you,
Brohan -0ut-
Hi ladies, how are you all today? Ahh good to hear, oh me, im fine thanks. Why yes I have been working out how kind of you to notice. Ive been working those stomach muscles with lots of hot sauce wings and beer. Yeah, my remote control finger is getting rather diesel. Would you like to have a thumb war? Of course of course I understand, it is an intimidating thumb if I do say so myself.
So yesterday, not a bad day. Work was work, BLAH. After work though, I went and got some sweet darts from Walmart. Who knew Walmart had some sweet ass darts for cheap. Mike knew thats who. I actually got the same exact ones as Mike which is sweet since those are the ones ive had the most luck with. Julia and Me also got some poker chips and those sweet ass Whooper Robin Eggs really cheap. I love those little candy egg things. You've got to go Whooper though, all other imitations taste like refried beans that someone put in a blender with bloody dog shit. Oh yeah, I said it, they dont even compare.
After Walmart it was a quick stop home for some missionary to reverse cow girl to cow girl to Fin. Then Julia and Me hightailed it over to New West to hit up some of those buffalo wings, you know the type, all chicken wing style, with like sauce, thats all like hot and flavorful, and like good and shiz. Last night wasnt so bad either, I think ive gotten a little better at these dart things and I might even actually get off my ass to put up that dart board in the basement. You dont haaaave to go to the bar to play darts because you dont haaaaaave to drink when you play. Of course, it takes the edge off, and drinking at home is now legal in 69 states so what the hell, fugit.
Home again to play some strip poker with the misses, which by the way I killed in. She was naked before she felt the natures breeze on her naked knees, and titties. I never lost all of my clothes before I ran out of chips. I guess that would make me, el numero uno #1, when it comes to strip poker that is. I think I like that game. I thought we were gonna get crazy then, but she took a brake from our naked fun to eat everything in sight and to watch freaky friday, which is the suck. So I gave up on sex and went to to find my weed that I had lost so conveniently about an hour ago. I really did loose it. I couldnt find it, turns out I had asked Dan to break some of my herb up for me for use in the vapo. I didnt think he was gonna actually do it, but he did, and it was in his room.
So I gave up and went back to my room to try to sleep. Now she is playful. I almost want to resist just cause I didnt feel like waiting for her to be a pig and watch the suckiest movie ever. How are you gonna turn down sex though, so WHAM BAM THANK YOU MA'AM, then it's back up, so WHAM BAM well you get the idea, one more time and then some cartoons to help bring on the sleepy times.
As for sleep, im still having long vivid dreams. Last night was another bloody gorey monster dream. It was mostly about a down syndrome Jason. I was good friends with this guy who was slowly turning into Jason. The thing was he seemed to get down syndrome first. Not the loud kind, the quite stupid type. He would walk around slow shuffling his feet with a cold stare in his eyes. He eventually dawned the trademark Jason hockey mask and got himself a machete. Seriously now, who gives a retard a machete? I would have given him a shotgun. You know hes gonna have slow weak swings that couldnt decapitate a hamster. Give the kid a sawed off and he at least injure something 2 out of three times. Im getting off track though. Jason started killing people and I would try to convince him it was a bad idea. He would hear nothing of it though and would hide out in his tree fort until it was time to kill again. Being the concerned friend that I am I decided to take Jason on a boat ride to have a talk with him. I rowed us out to this little dock on the other side of some lake and we got out. I sit him down against a wooden wall and ask him to remove his mask. He does and I start to tell him why he cant just go around killing everyone. Also that hes not a zombie and it's not like he needs to eat peoples brains. As im telling him this he rams his finger against a rusty nail sticking out of the wood and moves it all around making a bigger hole. Then he squeezes his finger and eats all blood and spare chunks that come out. Without skipping a beat I continue my conversation. Jason or whatever his name is looks at me confused, and then peels his face off. He scrapes all the chunky bloody goodness that is the inside of his face off and eats it. He never rips the skin aside from the ripping he did to get it off. After he licks it clean he slaps his face back on. I agree to disagree with him and we go back home. He can kill who ever he wants now. That was my dream.
That was my weird dream which was alot longer but I dont remember all the details and most of it was Down Syndrome Jason killing people. Strange though. every night it varies. Sex dream, gorey monster dream, sex dream, gorey monster dream. I love the gorey ones cause it's like the ultimate monster movie in your head, but tonight better be a sex one or i'll be pissed.
Oh yeah, almost forgot. So last night I had an slightly serious conversation about our relationship with Julia. It was also about cunnilingus. She was talking about eight years down the road and I asked her "where do you see yourself in eight years?". I dont remember the job stuff because I just wanted to see if she would throw me into her future. She said something about owning a house and her Mom and Dad living in it as well as me. I said jokingly, "Eight years! I wont still be with you in eight years if you dont let me go down on you, I dont think I can even make it the rest of this year". Which was one of the first times I think I made it apparent how imperative to our relationship cunnilingus is. She then said, "If you broke up with me for that I would never forgive you, that would be the dumbest thing ever".(quick interjection: I wouldnt want to be forgiven, I wouldnt care, when it comes to break up's I can be a heartless bastard, but thats the only way i'll get over it, if I just end it and dont look back). So I had to explain to her how it wasn't dumb. That I wasn't being fully satisfied and theres no way I could go on for the rest of my life unsatisfied. No friggin way in hell. She didnt seem to happy about that, but then we had sex, so it was all good. Sadly I have a feeling that will be the reason we eventually break up. DERP!!
Oh and please, for the good of your future children, click on this-http://www.nationallampoon.com/nl/08_features/deadparents/deadparents.asp
Well thats it for now, comment or die, and be honest, do you think this post needed more light saber?
May the glove be with you,
Brohan -0ut-