Hold me now I think I am falling ....
So prom is tomorrow night.....and I have to say that at this present time I am so NOT excited it is bad. I know I will be excited tomorrow but if prom were in an hour-I would not go.
I have had a bad day I would defintiely say so. Last night was so much fun though. I love lacrosse games for real ...I totally need a CHICKS DIG LACROSSE shirt lol...we had fun hanging posters and cheering the boys on. BRAD SCORED 4 GOALS!!!! HOller and Dylan scored is first one! Word to both of them ... I gave Brad a big hug I was happy 4 him.
Then came today- BIlly giving me a "PROM UPDO" was super hilarious and Betty and I agreed to wear the styles all day- I can tell you I have never recieved so many compliments. Except for maybe when I wore that outfit to senior awards night ha.
So the first part of my day was good...and I now have 2 pairs of prom shoes to choose from and no purse. And I just got in a terrible mood the second half of the day.... and I ventured to publix to pick up my paycheck ...and Brad and I shared our unenthusiastic attitude toward prom..and our bad days...and how the people were annoying us at the present time cuz they were happy and we were not.
And then I came home a cried. For a while. My eyes are still really swollen (ps I got my eyebrows waxed for the first time ever....I like them...it was fun I highly reccomend it) but I just cried about a bunch of stuff cuz lately I have just felt like a really bad person. And I am not saying this to fish for compliments or to pity myself or whatever but I really honestly sincerely have just had this underlying feeling of just....sadness I dunno how to even explain. Just this fear that I am a really mean and bad and disinterested person. I try so hard not to be becuase I don't ever want to be fake or bitchy or anything like that but I just don't know. I don't even know how much sense I am making... I just want everything to stop for a while so I can reevaluate my reasons for doing things that I do. Because I feel like all my intentions are starting to be backed with conceited materialistic nothingness. I am so sorry that you are reading this if you are because I am just pouring out all my feelings that don't make sense. I hope you all have a really great night i mean it- and I am honest when I say tomorrow I will be looking forward to tomorrow. It'll be nice to see how pretty and handsome everyone looks in their attire.
Cheerio. I need sleep. And please pray for me if you could. Sorry I ask for a lot of prayers but I appreciate it. LOVE YOU ALL!
I have had a bad day I would defintiely say so. Last night was so much fun though. I love lacrosse games for real ...I totally need a CHICKS DIG LACROSSE shirt lol...we had fun hanging posters and cheering the boys on. BRAD SCORED 4 GOALS!!!! HOller and Dylan scored is first one! Word to both of them ... I gave Brad a big hug I was happy 4 him.
Then came today- BIlly giving me a "PROM UPDO" was super hilarious and Betty and I agreed to wear the styles all day- I can tell you I have never recieved so many compliments. Except for maybe when I wore that outfit to senior awards night ha.
So the first part of my day was good...and I now have 2 pairs of prom shoes to choose from and no purse. And I just got in a terrible mood the second half of the day.... and I ventured to publix to pick up my paycheck ...and Brad and I shared our unenthusiastic attitude toward prom..and our bad days...and how the people were annoying us at the present time cuz they were happy and we were not.
And then I came home a cried. For a while. My eyes are still really swollen (ps I got my eyebrows waxed for the first time ever....I like them...it was fun I highly reccomend it) but I just cried about a bunch of stuff cuz lately I have just felt like a really bad person. And I am not saying this to fish for compliments or to pity myself or whatever but I really honestly sincerely have just had this underlying feeling of just....sadness I dunno how to even explain. Just this fear that I am a really mean and bad and disinterested person. I try so hard not to be becuase I don't ever want to be fake or bitchy or anything like that but I just don't know. I don't even know how much sense I am making... I just want everything to stop for a while so I can reevaluate my reasons for doing things that I do. Because I feel like all my intentions are starting to be backed with conceited materialistic nothingness. I am so sorry that you are reading this if you are because I am just pouring out all my feelings that don't make sense. I hope you all have a really great night i mean it- and I am honest when I say tomorrow I will be looking forward to tomorrow. It'll be nice to see how pretty and handsome everyone looks in their attire.
Cheerio. I need sleep. And please pray for me if you could. Sorry I ask for a lot of prayers but I appreciate it. LOVE YOU ALL!