(no subject)
the mockingbird had been following the cat
all summer
mocking mocking mocking
teasing and cocksure;
the cat crawled under rockers on porches
tail flashing
and said something angry to the mockingbird
which I didn't understand.
yesterday the cat walked calmly up the driveway
with the mockingbird alive in its mouth,
wings fanned, beautiful wings fanned and flopping,
feathers parted
like a woman's legs,
and the bird was no longer mocking,
it was asking, it was praying
but the cat
striding down through centuries
would not listen.
I saw it crawl under a yellow car
with the bird
to bargain it to another place.
summer was over.
somehow i am back in toronto, after the three most intense days of my life. i realized i was running from myself and i couldn't do that anymore, i made peace with my shortcomings and took a bus back to familiar porches and people. and i know a lot of people are going to have a lot of different feelings about that. and maybe you think i'm a coward, but isn't it just as cowardly to do something you don't want to because you're scared of what everyone else will think of you? thinks are going to be different, oh will things be different. but i can live with different. i made a decision. i figured out what was best for me. for the first time since puberty i like myself.
i'm enrolled at u of t. my resume is circulating, eventually i'll have a job. with a job comes money, with money comes an apartment. 2006-2007, i never saw this one coming.
give me a call, i'm not as far as you might think.