Global Language unification proposals
After I take over the world it shall naturally be required that all persons will be taught a common language so that all these unneccessary communication breakdowns may be avoided.
(It would of course be more practical to eliminate all languages bar one, but i must confess a certain fondness for linguistic diversity. So.)
I would like to begin considerations of which language should be enforced and why. Some obvious suggestions follow, but the topic is debatable.
Languages in consideration:
ENGLISH - currently one of the most widespread languages, if you really want to know why it's so great, go watch 'My Fair Lady' and Rex Harrison will tell you. Again and again.
FRENCH - also quite widespread, simple to learn and closely related to other latin-based languages, facilitating quicker learning of the latter. Plus it just has a nice sound, dunnit?
SPANISH - because spanish is easy, and if you speak spanish you are allowed to take a siesta wherever you like.
GERMAN - Gutteral as this language may be, it's good fun to sing in it, and damn effective if you wanna get angry at someone. Furthermore, the high degree of spitting that results from making the hard consonantes has resulted in a boosted immunity among German speakers - by making this a global language we could eliminate disease as our immune systems stay on permanent alert, ready to fight off the constant onslaught of spittle. Less than charming, but practical.
ELF - who doesn't want to speak elf? J.R.R Tolkein wanted it to be a global language and left a very complete account of how to speak it, it favours no country or race in particular, apart from the elves (now excommunicated after they gave us Orlando. The product of years of elfin inbreeding, no doubt.)
Languages NOT in consideration:
KOREAN - I don't know if you've heard korean. If you haven't, don't.
CHINESE - Any language that involves the word 'tszz' can't be good for the ears.
AMERICAN ENGLISH - Because if you speak American English, you automatically can't understand any other sort of English. In fact, you can't understand anything. ESPECIALLY the English and their humour, you just won't get it.
This topic will be open to discussion until 24 hours prior to the takeover, unless i say different.
(It would of course be more practical to eliminate all languages bar one, but i must confess a certain fondness for linguistic diversity. So.)
I would like to begin considerations of which language should be enforced and why. Some obvious suggestions follow, but the topic is debatable.
Languages in consideration:
ENGLISH - currently one of the most widespread languages, if you really want to know why it's so great, go watch 'My Fair Lady' and Rex Harrison will tell you. Again and again.
FRENCH - also quite widespread, simple to learn and closely related to other latin-based languages, facilitating quicker learning of the latter. Plus it just has a nice sound, dunnit?
SPANISH - because spanish is easy, and if you speak spanish you are allowed to take a siesta wherever you like.
GERMAN - Gutteral as this language may be, it's good fun to sing in it, and damn effective if you wanna get angry at someone. Furthermore, the high degree of spitting that results from making the hard consonantes has resulted in a boosted immunity among German speakers - by making this a global language we could eliminate disease as our immune systems stay on permanent alert, ready to fight off the constant onslaught of spittle. Less than charming, but practical.
ELF - who doesn't want to speak elf? J.R.R Tolkein wanted it to be a global language and left a very complete account of how to speak it, it favours no country or race in particular, apart from the elves (now excommunicated after they gave us Orlando. The product of years of elfin inbreeding, no doubt.)
Languages NOT in consideration:
KOREAN - I don't know if you've heard korean. If you haven't, don't.
CHINESE - Any language that involves the word 'tszz' can't be good for the ears.
AMERICAN ENGLISH - Because if you speak American English, you automatically can't understand any other sort of English. In fact, you can't understand anything. ESPECIALLY the English and their humour, you just won't get it.
This topic will be open to discussion until 24 hours prior to the takeover, unless i say different.