Official Warning no. 1
While most people who would actually read this already have heard the story, I shall tell it again for the amusement of the rest of you.
Yesterday I arrived at work to learn that the owner was on the phone for me. Apparently she was very unhappy and I was in some kind of big trouble.
Indeed, that was the case! I was issued an official verbal warning for...
...being too interesting.
Yep. No joke.
Apparently when I talk, I'm too interesting, and the other staff members stop what they're doing to listen. This disrupts the workplace. The owner gave me an earful for about twenty minutes.
This warning comes just two days after I was threatened with a written warning for not mopping the floor in the coolroom (a task which has never been done since the inception of the restaurant in January 2006.)
In response to these shattering events, we have situated a tally in the office, and are adding a score to it each time I commit a crime greater-than-or-equal-to "being interesting" or "not mopping the coolroom".
In the first night, I recieved 7 hypothetical written warnings on my tally.
This means I have hypothetically been fired 2.333333333333* times.
I consider the ability to defy logic and do anything an irrational number of times a highly desirable quality in an employee, and am not particularly flustered about knowing that people stop and listen when I speak - my global domination prospects are looking good.
Yesterday I arrived at work to learn that the owner was on the phone for me. Apparently she was very unhappy and I was in some kind of big trouble.
Indeed, that was the case! I was issued an official verbal warning for...
...being too interesting.
Yep. No joke.
Apparently when I talk, I'm too interesting, and the other staff members stop what they're doing to listen. This disrupts the workplace. The owner gave me an earful for about twenty minutes.
This warning comes just two days after I was threatened with a written warning for not mopping the floor in the coolroom (a task which has never been done since the inception of the restaurant in January 2006.)
In response to these shattering events, we have situated a tally in the office, and are adding a score to it each time I commit a crime greater-than-or-equal-to "being interesting" or "not mopping the coolroom".
In the first night, I recieved 7 hypothetical written warnings on my tally.
This means I have hypothetically been fired 2.333333333333* times.
I consider the ability to defy logic and do anything an irrational number of times a highly desirable quality in an employee, and am not particularly flustered about knowing that people stop and listen when I speak - my global domination prospects are looking good.