whats wrong with me?

[i_wont_break]

i'm.... i don't feel anything... that or i feel everything and there is just no distinguishable emotion. i don't know which.

i just read a whole new fanfic today. i am extremely mad that i'm done. reading my inuyasha fanfics put me at ease. they draw me from this world and into theirs making me as carefree as a child. then i finish and reality comes crashing down around me. reality sucks. sometimes i wish that i had a huge book of kag/sess fanfics so i could lock myself in my room and escape to the fantasy world forever... i fear that this Sesshomaru has become addicting. i yearn for someone like him. yup, i'm obsessed. i long to be in the fanfic myself, i want everything to be fake. i want to be a story that someone else reads. i don't want to live it but merely watch from the sidelines as i do in the fanfics.

i found an emotion. i feel broken... like part of me is missing yet i know not what it is or how to remedy it. i hate always feeling like this. its the main reason i read so much. it distracts me from my emptiness. i've fallen to far and can no longer escape this never- ending pit on my own. someone help me...