Blog?
so lately i have taken to reading people's blogs. blogs are an interesting thing because they always seem to have an important issue and each time i read one i seem to come to some sort of agreeance with the blogger, even if i would never usually agree with them. it's like psychological peer pressure, and though i have NEVER (seriously, never) fallen to peer pressure, get me reading a blog and there i am, a 14 year old whose friends just asked her to smoke a joint and i do it.
i wish that i could be that persuasive. i wish that when i spoke or wrote i was able to change people's opinions. but at the same time maybe i don't want that power. maybe i would rather be one that sits and listens then one that people listen to. who knows? now i am babbling.
school has started back up for the year and with the help of an incredible academic adviser - i am going to graduate in April - which i don't think i could be anymore excited about. i am so glad that i am finally going to be done school and in a little less than 8 months i will have my degree. i mean i still have to go to teachers college but i think that is going to have to wait.
i have been arguing a lot about this with my mother lately. when i first attended Randolph it was decided that afterwards i would go and get my degree so that i would have something to fall back on, and i will, just not my teaching certificate - right away. i think that i have been more than fair in continuing to go to school - this has put me into debt more than i think i will ever be able to surface from and the thought of attending teachers college immediately following my degree make me want to vomit. that's not to say that i don't ever want to go and get it but i think that i need some time for myself. as i said to my mother the other day, "i did what you wanted in getting my degree and now it's my turn to do what i want. it's not fair to me or my talent to just give in and teach for the rest of my life when that is NOT what i want to do with my life, sure that's a great back-up but it's not my dream" i don't really think that that is too much to ask - but apparently that is cause for a freak out. anyway, i digress back to my academic advisor, in order to graduate i have to take 6 courses unlike the usual 5 that you take every year and i thought that it wouldn't be such a big deal but it is SO much more work and the 4th year class that i am taking is slightly nausiating. and by slightly i mean alot nausiating.
it is been so amazing to be back to school with the roommates though (Melissa, Ali, Jessie, Britt and even Riley), it's so weird to think that for 3 years i have lived with these girls and in a matter of months we will all go our seperate ways. sad really. they become such a part of your family and a part of who you are and then they are gone. we have all decided that we are going to keep in touch and that we're going to get together every Christmas and do Christmas dinner as we always have, but it's wasier said then done. life goes on and who knows where we will all be and what we will be doing.
i started reading this book for one of my classes entitled "wherever you go, there you are" and while i thought that it was going to be a bunch of psycobabble that would ultimately make me angry it actually makes a lot of sense. it was talking about how mindfulness means taking the time to realize and appreciate the here and now rather than the past or the future. and that is difficult. it's difficult to think about right now and not about what's about to happen or what just happened. anyway, it's interesting.
going through my agenda i realized that starting next week i have something due every week until the middle of November - now THAT is frightening. a lot of work but the end result is going to be worth it. i also had my audition for 'Footloose' at Brock today - it was pretty cool and i think i have a callback tomorrow so that should be interesting. it's such a good show and great music, so it'll be fun to work on - hopefully
anyway, this journal is all over the place but i just wanted to get a bunch of my thoughts out, back to watching a movie with Ali in the livingroom
..::now i'm speechless over the edge. i'm just breathless, i never thought that i'd catch this lovebug again::..
Lovebug - Jonas Brothers
(that's right i like them - get over it)
i wish that i could be that persuasive. i wish that when i spoke or wrote i was able to change people's opinions. but at the same time maybe i don't want that power. maybe i would rather be one that sits and listens then one that people listen to. who knows? now i am babbling.
school has started back up for the year and with the help of an incredible academic adviser - i am going to graduate in April - which i don't think i could be anymore excited about. i am so glad that i am finally going to be done school and in a little less than 8 months i will have my degree. i mean i still have to go to teachers college but i think that is going to have to wait.
i have been arguing a lot about this with my mother lately. when i first attended Randolph it was decided that afterwards i would go and get my degree so that i would have something to fall back on, and i will, just not my teaching certificate - right away. i think that i have been more than fair in continuing to go to school - this has put me into debt more than i think i will ever be able to surface from and the thought of attending teachers college immediately following my degree make me want to vomit. that's not to say that i don't ever want to go and get it but i think that i need some time for myself. as i said to my mother the other day, "i did what you wanted in getting my degree and now it's my turn to do what i want. it's not fair to me or my talent to just give in and teach for the rest of my life when that is NOT what i want to do with my life, sure that's a great back-up but it's not my dream" i don't really think that that is too much to ask - but apparently that is cause for a freak out. anyway, i digress back to my academic advisor, in order to graduate i have to take 6 courses unlike the usual 5 that you take every year and i thought that it wouldn't be such a big deal but it is SO much more work and the 4th year class that i am taking is slightly nausiating. and by slightly i mean alot nausiating.
it is been so amazing to be back to school with the roommates though (Melissa, Ali, Jessie, Britt and even Riley), it's so weird to think that for 3 years i have lived with these girls and in a matter of months we will all go our seperate ways. sad really. they become such a part of your family and a part of who you are and then they are gone. we have all decided that we are going to keep in touch and that we're going to get together every Christmas and do Christmas dinner as we always have, but it's wasier said then done. life goes on and who knows where we will all be and what we will be doing.
i started reading this book for one of my classes entitled "wherever you go, there you are" and while i thought that it was going to be a bunch of psycobabble that would ultimately make me angry it actually makes a lot of sense. it was talking about how mindfulness means taking the time to realize and appreciate the here and now rather than the past or the future. and that is difficult. it's difficult to think about right now and not about what's about to happen or what just happened. anyway, it's interesting.
going through my agenda i realized that starting next week i have something due every week until the middle of November - now THAT is frightening. a lot of work but the end result is going to be worth it. i also had my audition for 'Footloose' at Brock today - it was pretty cool and i think i have a callback tomorrow so that should be interesting. it's such a good show and great music, so it'll be fun to work on - hopefully
anyway, this journal is all over the place but i just wanted to get a bunch of my thoughts out, back to watching a movie with Ali in the livingroom
..::now i'm speechless over the edge. i'm just breathless, i never thought that i'd catch this lovebug again::..
Lovebug - Jonas Brothers
(that's right i like them - get over it)