may angels lead you in.
the weekends always go by way too fast. i feel super groggy and out of it today. i should be in a good mood because i woke up realizing that i finally get off my year of unsupervised probation on thursday [9/11, go figure]. but all i could think about this weekend was the fact that it's been exactly 6 months since zion's death. i keep listening to Hear You Me by jimmy eat world, and i remember that's the only song i would listen to right after his memorial service - the one i was so emotional at, even though i thought i would be "fine". i thought i had gotten over the worst - the initial shock, the rivers of tears all of our friends had cried together in my old living room for hours on the day we heard the devastating news - and now it's been half of an entire year. it feels like time flew to this day, this month; i feel like i hardly remember anything in between, except for the monthly reminders to myself of how long it's been.
am i dwelling too much? why do i like remembering morbid things like this? shawn says i'm too hard on myself, but i wonder if i really just take comfort in the past too often. i don't know. otherwise, the weekend was good -- too short, but good. the parents met last night at the red horse, where dinner was an absolute success, and simon consumed more food in two and a half hours than any 6 year old should.
i am once again thinking about quitting smoking, but my lack of motivation wins. again.
xoxo.
am i dwelling too much? why do i like remembering morbid things like this? shawn says i'm too hard on myself, but i wonder if i really just take comfort in the past too often. i don't know. otherwise, the weekend was good -- too short, but good. the parents met last night at the red horse, where dinner was an absolute success, and simon consumed more food in two and a half hours than any 6 year old should.
i am once again thinking about quitting smoking, but my lack of motivation wins. again.
xoxo.