love consumes me and there's no time for hesitation..
im at mea's. i know, crazy, right?! i havent seen this crazy messy house in at least three weeks. i cant believe ive been out of my parents house for five weeks now. its surreal. so i just discovered that the enter key is broken on this keyboard. meh. last night was cool. bill closed up shop an hour early, so i got outta there at 11:00 instead of midnight. conrad drove us ["us" being myself, robbyH, robbyJ, amy, and tim] to monrovia. too bad we got hella lost and had to call mea about 359870948504 times for directions. FINALLY made it to her house and had a van party. threw some beer bottles in a kid's driveway whom mea wants to kill. aha. mea and i came back to her place and i showered, ate a cupcake, and passed out. woke up at noon today and called conrad to see if he could pick me up. he'll be here in about a half hour. brandon called. he's drunk. it worries me, considering his track record, but c'est la vie. what can i do but worry and give him my opinion? he's a grown man and he can make his own decisions. i trust him. he misses me. likewise. last night was the first night in what feels like forever that we spent apart. being intoxicated definitely helped, but i know thats not a simple solution to any problem. what at first seems trite and true, usually is. so now conrad wont be here til 3:00. fucking shit. im so pissed. i hate not having a fucking car. fuck this. this fucking sucks so fucking bad. and brandon's going home cause he's tired. he's always fucking tired. all he does is fucking sleep all fucking day. so much for apartment hunting today. fuck this. fuck everything. ill fucking sleep out on the streets. i dont give a flying fuck anymore. no one else does, so why the fuck should i? hmm. i swear im not manic depressive.