stab me in the chest. i need a good betrayal.

[i_willremember]

today has made me think so much about what a spoiled bitch i am. i hate acting this way.

so i was walking out of Quizznos tonight, and it was pretty dark and secluded. well this homeless guy walks up to me and says "excuse me, miss, do you have any spare change?" and i said "im really sorry but i dont." and he just said Okay, and walked away.

i feel like such a fucking bitch. once again, i have failed.

but then i think about what could have happened to me had i given this guy a couple bucks. he could've pulled a gun or a knife on me, or attacked me and tried to rape or kill me. i guess in a way im lucky.

so how come i feel like shit?

i dont deserve all that i've been given. my precious life with all my precious possessions.

+closes eyes+ how can someone so scared of death have the deepest desire to die?

p.s. i hate guy problems. bringing up the past really blows. when ex boyfriends come back into your life, dont let them.

+tears fall+ cross my heart, ill never fall again.