oh love, where the hell have you been?

[i_willremember]

i ate a meal today for the first time in probably a week or so. i cant even remember.
i feel kinda sick now.

my mom took me and ashley to the mall this evening. actually, she made me go. i didnt want to leave the house, but she told me it would "be good" for me. i guess it was okay. she bought me barettes and two pairs of heels. we blasted Kelly Clarkson in the car and made jokes about different kinds of "hoes". my mom rocks.

a book came in the mail for me today, on Graphology, the study of handwriting. i had forgotten i ordered it, even though i did so just a few days ago. i think im going to like reading it; i skimmed it today and the book seems really interesting.

i choreographed today. its one of the few things that makes me feel better. like i can express all my emotions, all the hurt and hunger and sadness i'm feeling within me, through this beautiful artform. i think im going to have my teen company jazz class work on it tonight.

yeah, im going to the studio tonight. im not sure how i feel about it. i dont really want to go, but jazz IIIC is the only class i honestly look forward to teaching each week.

i want to change my hair.

i want to get my second tattoo.

i want to move to new york.

i want to sleep forever.

i want to record a demo cd.

i want people to know that im not a waste of space. that im worth something.

that i can accomplish something.

i want to read five books in one day.

i want to have a book of my poetry published.

i want to learn to knit.

i want to be financially independent.

i want to be a celebrity dresser.

i want to find inner peace.