Great shitty days
Wow everything just keeps getting better. I am getting in fights with my parents nearly every single day. For some reason I have been feeling incredibly... nothing. Like I can't feel emotion. That is unless I get in a fight, in which case I usually have plenty of anger. I haven't really been able to be HAPPY at all for what seems to be forever. I don't think I have smiled for real for weeks. All just fake to make the people around me not ask me questions. The people actually close to me seem to notice on the other hand. I really hate living here. I was talking to my dad about moving out, and he said he would make me stay until I was 18 unless I showed him that I could handle doing the shit that I have to and get through school. He tries to make it sound like I'm a failure and I can't survive living my own life. He also likes to tell me just how stupid I am and the things I do are.
Everybody seems to love to come over to my house to chill, but personally I hate being home. Then they come and I really just don't want to be there. I would rather be biking in circles around the city. I actually might be able to fix a car soon, which means I won't be at home by choice basically ever. I think I will just use the house as a bed and for some food. I am going to try and get this job really fast so that I can start getting the things that I want. Such as a lip piercing and ear piercings and moving out. The last of that list is the most important to me at the moment. That is what I am going to be gearing most of my time to. Especially if I get a job, because then I can drive to school and work and save money for moving out.
All the things that used to make me really happy seemed to have all seeped out of my life and robbed me of any pleasure. I am talking about you too Josie. I really miss you a lot. I even just like talking to you. I hope I talk to you over this weekend.. I might be going to watch some fireworks tonight, but I'm pretty sure I'll be home tomorrow anyways.. I really want you to call. I want you to email me! I want to see more pictures! They make me smile and wish I could cuddle up next to you!! Maybe sneak a couple kisses in or something too.. that is if its okay with you.. haha well I'm going to go work on my car then. This is going to be interesting.
Everybody seems to love to come over to my house to chill, but personally I hate being home. Then they come and I really just don't want to be there. I would rather be biking in circles around the city. I actually might be able to fix a car soon, which means I won't be at home by choice basically ever. I think I will just use the house as a bed and for some food. I am going to try and get this job really fast so that I can start getting the things that I want. Such as a lip piercing and ear piercings and moving out. The last of that list is the most important to me at the moment. That is what I am going to be gearing most of my time to. Especially if I get a job, because then I can drive to school and work and save money for moving out.
All the things that used to make me really happy seemed to have all seeped out of my life and robbed me of any pleasure. I am talking about you too Josie. I really miss you a lot. I even just like talking to you. I hope I talk to you over this weekend.. I might be going to watch some fireworks tonight, but I'm pretty sure I'll be home tomorrow anyways.. I really want you to call. I want you to email me! I want to see more pictures! They make me smile and wish I could cuddle up next to you!! Maybe sneak a couple kisses in or something too.. that is if its okay with you.. haha well I'm going to go work on my car then. This is going to be interesting.