Cute Piano Girl
Who really matters in this life? Who will change the world as a whole, in no possible way will that be only one person? Lately, the past few weeks I have really been thinking and re-evaluating my life. I have been considering a change in religion - or lack of --. I have been thinking about who my friends really are, and who I can trust to be there when I need them. Which ones keep me around only for the good times, but the minute conflict erupts, will leave me dry. I have been wondering “do I love anyone”? Of course there are the obvious people, family, and the friends that I know will be there always. Though, sadly I have come to realize, there is not someone in my life, I would be destroyed if something happened (not counting immediate family like dad, mom, and bro). That got me thinking, and really upset me when I came to that conclusion. I can name three people out of my friends that I know for a fact would change my life drastically if something happened to them. Aside from those three, there is no one. I played out sick scenarios in my head trying to find more, I wanted more, but it just did not bring the same emotions.
Today, I went to Bronson hospital for some blood work, no big deal. I got done very fast and walked down to the ground floor to wait for Jeff to pick me up. I noticed when walking up to get the blood work, they had a whole garden and statues and a pond in one of the sitting areas by the entrance. I also noticed a grand piano there. I figured it was just for aesthetics, and that if it was ever used it was only for professionals hired by the hospital. Well when I walked down to wait for Jeff, I realized that I had an hour and a half to wait still. I also heard a faint sound of music, drawn to it, I saw a very cute girl sitting at the piano. I sat down at first trying to build the guts to go talk to her, but then something else hit me. I started thinking. “What does it matter? What does anything matter?”
I looked at the pond and saw a leaf floating along the currents of the water created by the filter system. I know it sounds corny, but it appeared to move with the music, with drastic turns on changes of key, and smooth flowing motions in the melody parts. At first I did not think anything of the Cute Piano Girl, nothing of her really entered my mind aside from that she was very attractive, but so are many people, so even that was not anything astonishing. Then an older nurse walked by and stopped next to Cute Piano Girl and said in a soft voice “Thank you.” Cute Piano Girl did not turn from her music, but I noticed a slight smirk on her face. That made me think of something else, if someone says thank you to me, I turn and absorb that thank you fully, milking it for all its worth. Though Cute Piano Girl seemed to brush it aside, acknowledging its importance with the smile, but showing that it was unimportant to her, she did not seem to want “thank you”, but she just wanted to know people were listening.
Then a man came up carrying his daughter. He stopped next to Cute Piano Girl and said to her in between songs “she wants to watch you” referring to his daughter. Cute Piano Girl smiled her smirk, though; it appeared larger this time than last. After standing there listening for about a minute, the dad turned towards the café and started walking away. The daughter, still in her father’s arms, turned, and looked over his right shoulder. Staring at the Cute Piano Girl as long as she could until the father turned the corner and went out of view. The whole time she walked away, the smile on Cute Piano Girl’s face grew larger. It seemed as if as long as the daughter was looking, Cute Piano Girl was happy, even if she was leaving.
At this same time, many people had passed since the beginning of her performance. This started out as just people passing turned into something more as I watched. It seemed that no matter whom, rich or poor, employee or patient, doctor or janitor, white or black, everyone that passed Cute Piano Girl slowed down, some without seeming to notice that they had done so. People on their cell phones, showing no attention to Cute Piano Girl slowed to the same pace as the old man that walked by and smiled. As I was seeing this happen, I also saw the smile on Cute Piano Girl grow.
This is the point where I started thinking today. I had of course been thinking about everything I said in the first paragraph the previous days, but this is the first thing today. What does really matter? With all of this happening around me, I look at Cute Piano Girl for unspoken advice. Her smile at first tells me that what she smiles for, is what matters. So I assumed at first, what matters to each of us as an individual is what really matters in life. Before I agreed completely with that thought, which is what I have thought for a long time, I decided to observe more of Cute Piano Girl and try to learn more.
An old man approached Cute Piano Girl as she pulled out a new book of music. He leans in close, probably with that comforting old man smell, and smiled. He looks in her eyes and asks in the sweetest old man voice he can muster, “Can you play …?” she replies softly, “no, I’m sorry”. He then asks in just as sweet a voice, “how about..?” again she shakes her head and says, “I’m sorry”. He leans in closer and in a sweet, but a noticeable undertone of frustration, “alright, thank you though, you are very good at that”, “thank you” she replies. At that point I believe that my idea of what matters is what matters to you was just reinforced, but looking back on it, in the old man’s head, I could see wisps of air, of thoughts of his wife, recently passed in the same hospital, and I can see them dancing together, possibly at a High School Prom, or a dance lesson in a class with a bunch of other old people, but to them, only they exist. And I can hear the songs he was asking for being played, they end as he dips his late wife and brings her back up and kisses her lovingly on her lips. Tears form in their eyes as they exchange the phrase “I love you dear”. After thinking and seeing this, I know, he did not ask because it is what mattered to him, it mattered to Them. He hoped that by hearing the song, she would return to him, and he can dip her one last time, and kiss her lips, and tell him he loves her, as he will never again do.
I look up at the three people on the balconies of the floors above and wonder if they saw the same as I had. Perhaps they are asking themselves the same question. What really matters?
A young mother, who looks as if she is struggling to raise the three boys she has approaches and sits down. Her oldest son is holding yet another member of her own personal Partridge Family. Her youngest son runs to the pool of water and gazes deeply in and starts rolling up his sleeves. He saw that shiny penny on the bottom and knew he would finally obtain his fortune he knows those shiny pennies bring. He gets on his knees when the middle aged brother yells at him, and soon after the mother is on top of him dragging him back to his seat and they both listen as Cute Piano Girl strikes her keys. The middle aged brother sits staring deeply into the pond, perhaps wondering why so long ago, he had to realize, those pennies mean nothing. Of course, it costs more to make them than they are worth, but there is so many that to be a millionaire of pennies is a simple task. Why did he have to learn so early the true worth of money? It could be that he hears his mother and father complaining that there is not enough money for the gallon of milk they need for breakfast in the morning, even thought there is a year’s supply of pennies sprawled across the table in front of their sunken heads. He stares, listening to the Cute Piano Girl, and does not hear his mother calling his name. They are leaving; he probably will not see that wealth of pennies again anytime soon. Then remembers, it is all worth nothing, they do not matter. He hears his mother call just before she looses control and runs to catch up, looking back sadly at the Cute Piano Girl as she smiles larger than ever.
A mother stops with her young daughter by the pond. Her daughter, with the shiniest, curliest, blonde hair I have seen in a long time, stands over the pond, and looks over it and over the bushes and sees the Cute Piano Girl. Curly Blonde smiles and points saying “look mommy!” Her mom pulls her off the edge of the pond and holds out her purse. “Take two pennies sweetie and throw them into the pond”, the Curly Blonde digs through and grabs two quarters instead. The mom quickly grabs Curly Blonde’s wrists and hands her two coins of Child Gold, she hands Curly Blonde two shiny new pennies. Curly Blonde excitedly throws the pennies in and watches them fall slowly to the bottom one at a time. After that she looks back up. Cute Piano Girl has just started a new song and its picking up tempo. Curly Blonde jumps on the back of the nearest chair and stares at Cute Piano Girl. The mother urges her to eat, but Curly Blondes jaw is dropped admiring the fast moving fingers of Cute Piano Girl. “I am watching her mommy!” she yells, but mommy does not care. “Would you rather go eat in the café?” After that threat, Curly Blonde opens her mouth and bites the sandwich her mom shoved into her face. Excited to get back onto the chair, Curly Blonde jumps up, but is pulled down by mommy, and she starts to walk away. They slow down as they pass the Cute Piano Girl, like everyone else, and Curly Blonde looks, sadly at Cute Piano Girl. They go around the corner and Curly Blonde is not seen again.
But at the same moment, an old woman, with the same curly, blonde hair rounds the same corner, in a wheel chair. She pulls up to the same chair, and sits there, facing Cute Piano Girl. Could this old woman be the Curly Blonde of her time, and this time excited that there is no mommy to pull her away? She gently drops two pennies into pond and gazes at Cute Piano Girl. She struggles to take her coat off. As she finally gets it off, she pulls out a sandwich, looks at it and starts trying to get her coat on. The tempo of the song increases and I look to see Cute Piano Girl’s fingers flying across the keys. I look back, and see Curly Blonde wheeling herself away, towards the café to eat her sandwich. Even without her mom, Curly Blonde did what mom would have done. The Cute Piano Girl smiled.
I looked around just before Curly Blonde left and noticed the people sitting there listening. A strange combination, there was an old White lady, an old Mexican man, a middle aged Black man, a young Black girl and myself, with my long hair and everything. I realized, even though there is nothing wrong with any of us, and there is no reason for any of us to not get along, we probably would not all be sitting there together if it was not for Cute Piano Girl.
The janitors had an annoying habit of rolling their carts by when Cute Piano Girl was playing. I knew they would not have if they had not needed to, but it was still annoying. What was more annoying was how everyone around had the tendency to get louder as they rolled by. Obviously so they could hear their own conversations, but one thing I did notice, was that Cute Piano Girl never got louder than the music called for. To her, the carts were not there, to her, they did not matter.
A young girl about the same age as Curly Blonde came up and was reading the sign about where all the change in the pond goes every night. Her mom was reading it to her because she had not yet learned to read. I look at her as she gazes in the pond. I smile and dig into my pockets and pull out some random change. Like Curly Blonde’s mom, I put the quarters back in my pocket with out realizing it. I hand the girl the change and ask her if she would like to make a wish. I believe personally that wishes or prayers for that matter do nothing for you. But for a girl at that age, why not? It could not hurt and the smile on the little girls face was huge, even larger than Cute Piano Girl’s. She whips the change in and smiles at me again, and her mom says “thank you”. As usual I look at the mother, taking full effect of that thank you in. I need it unlike Cute Piano Girl. They walk around and watch the piano get played and then I see the girl run back with two pennies. Perhaps she decided she would rather her daughter learn about giving and wishes and hope from her than some scruffy, long haired metal head that’s randomly sitting there with a lot of change. Either way, the girl was ecstatic. They walk away, slowing down in front of Cute Piano Girl as always.
So what does matter? I am still wondering that. Is it Cute Piano Girl that matters? She is the one that caused all the events above to occur. She is the one that got me thinking. Is she what matters? But how does that explain the old man and requests? How does it explain why Cute Piano Girl was smiling when people walked away, and especially why she did not get louder so everyone could hear her when the janitors carts rolled by? Perhaps I completely missed the point, which no matter who you ask, everyone’s interpretation of these events will be different, so I know for some of you I was way off base with this. I think nothing matters. Sure, there are the main things, happiness, love, friendship, giving, but in the end, someone seeing you happy, it does not matter. You seeing them happy does not matter. I think nothing matters, not even Cute Piano Girl. I think Cute Piano Girl was closest to finding what really matters though. The closest I will come to that feeling is seeing it happen to her. The thing that may possibly matter, but will never actually happen, is being noticed by everyone. It is impossible to touch everyone’s life, but everyone who passed Cute Piano Girl today was touched, even if not paying attention. I know I will never experience this, and, I know I will probably never even try at it. I am just going to take comfort that there are many Cute Piano Girls out there, and I am hoping each of them eventually one day, does reach everyone. By that day though, it may be too late for even that to matter.
Today, I went to Bronson hospital for some blood work, no big deal. I got done very fast and walked down to the ground floor to wait for Jeff to pick me up. I noticed when walking up to get the blood work, they had a whole garden and statues and a pond in one of the sitting areas by the entrance. I also noticed a grand piano there. I figured it was just for aesthetics, and that if it was ever used it was only for professionals hired by the hospital. Well when I walked down to wait for Jeff, I realized that I had an hour and a half to wait still. I also heard a faint sound of music, drawn to it, I saw a very cute girl sitting at the piano. I sat down at first trying to build the guts to go talk to her, but then something else hit me. I started thinking. “What does it matter? What does anything matter?”
I looked at the pond and saw a leaf floating along the currents of the water created by the filter system. I know it sounds corny, but it appeared to move with the music, with drastic turns on changes of key, and smooth flowing motions in the melody parts. At first I did not think anything of the Cute Piano Girl, nothing of her really entered my mind aside from that she was very attractive, but so are many people, so even that was not anything astonishing. Then an older nurse walked by and stopped next to Cute Piano Girl and said in a soft voice “Thank you.” Cute Piano Girl did not turn from her music, but I noticed a slight smirk on her face. That made me think of something else, if someone says thank you to me, I turn and absorb that thank you fully, milking it for all its worth. Though Cute Piano Girl seemed to brush it aside, acknowledging its importance with the smile, but showing that it was unimportant to her, she did not seem to want “thank you”, but she just wanted to know people were listening.
Then a man came up carrying his daughter. He stopped next to Cute Piano Girl and said to her in between songs “she wants to watch you” referring to his daughter. Cute Piano Girl smiled her smirk, though; it appeared larger this time than last. After standing there listening for about a minute, the dad turned towards the café and started walking away. The daughter, still in her father’s arms, turned, and looked over his right shoulder. Staring at the Cute Piano Girl as long as she could until the father turned the corner and went out of view. The whole time she walked away, the smile on Cute Piano Girl’s face grew larger. It seemed as if as long as the daughter was looking, Cute Piano Girl was happy, even if she was leaving.
At this same time, many people had passed since the beginning of her performance. This started out as just people passing turned into something more as I watched. It seemed that no matter whom, rich or poor, employee or patient, doctor or janitor, white or black, everyone that passed Cute Piano Girl slowed down, some without seeming to notice that they had done so. People on their cell phones, showing no attention to Cute Piano Girl slowed to the same pace as the old man that walked by and smiled. As I was seeing this happen, I also saw the smile on Cute Piano Girl grow.
This is the point where I started thinking today. I had of course been thinking about everything I said in the first paragraph the previous days, but this is the first thing today. What does really matter? With all of this happening around me, I look at Cute Piano Girl for unspoken advice. Her smile at first tells me that what she smiles for, is what matters. So I assumed at first, what matters to each of us as an individual is what really matters in life. Before I agreed completely with that thought, which is what I have thought for a long time, I decided to observe more of Cute Piano Girl and try to learn more.
An old man approached Cute Piano Girl as she pulled out a new book of music. He leans in close, probably with that comforting old man smell, and smiled. He looks in her eyes and asks in the sweetest old man voice he can muster, “Can you play …?” she replies softly, “no, I’m sorry”. He then asks in just as sweet a voice, “how about..?” again she shakes her head and says, “I’m sorry”. He leans in closer and in a sweet, but a noticeable undertone of frustration, “alright, thank you though, you are very good at that”, “thank you” she replies. At that point I believe that my idea of what matters is what matters to you was just reinforced, but looking back on it, in the old man’s head, I could see wisps of air, of thoughts of his wife, recently passed in the same hospital, and I can see them dancing together, possibly at a High School Prom, or a dance lesson in a class with a bunch of other old people, but to them, only they exist. And I can hear the songs he was asking for being played, they end as he dips his late wife and brings her back up and kisses her lovingly on her lips. Tears form in their eyes as they exchange the phrase “I love you dear”. After thinking and seeing this, I know, he did not ask because it is what mattered to him, it mattered to Them. He hoped that by hearing the song, she would return to him, and he can dip her one last time, and kiss her lips, and tell him he loves her, as he will never again do.
I look up at the three people on the balconies of the floors above and wonder if they saw the same as I had. Perhaps they are asking themselves the same question. What really matters?
A young mother, who looks as if she is struggling to raise the three boys she has approaches and sits down. Her oldest son is holding yet another member of her own personal Partridge Family. Her youngest son runs to the pool of water and gazes deeply in and starts rolling up his sleeves. He saw that shiny penny on the bottom and knew he would finally obtain his fortune he knows those shiny pennies bring. He gets on his knees when the middle aged brother yells at him, and soon after the mother is on top of him dragging him back to his seat and they both listen as Cute Piano Girl strikes her keys. The middle aged brother sits staring deeply into the pond, perhaps wondering why so long ago, he had to realize, those pennies mean nothing. Of course, it costs more to make them than they are worth, but there is so many that to be a millionaire of pennies is a simple task. Why did he have to learn so early the true worth of money? It could be that he hears his mother and father complaining that there is not enough money for the gallon of milk they need for breakfast in the morning, even thought there is a year’s supply of pennies sprawled across the table in front of their sunken heads. He stares, listening to the Cute Piano Girl, and does not hear his mother calling his name. They are leaving; he probably will not see that wealth of pennies again anytime soon. Then remembers, it is all worth nothing, they do not matter. He hears his mother call just before she looses control and runs to catch up, looking back sadly at the Cute Piano Girl as she smiles larger than ever.
A mother stops with her young daughter by the pond. Her daughter, with the shiniest, curliest, blonde hair I have seen in a long time, stands over the pond, and looks over it and over the bushes and sees the Cute Piano Girl. Curly Blonde smiles and points saying “look mommy!” Her mom pulls her off the edge of the pond and holds out her purse. “Take two pennies sweetie and throw them into the pond”, the Curly Blonde digs through and grabs two quarters instead. The mom quickly grabs Curly Blonde’s wrists and hands her two coins of Child Gold, she hands Curly Blonde two shiny new pennies. Curly Blonde excitedly throws the pennies in and watches them fall slowly to the bottom one at a time. After that she looks back up. Cute Piano Girl has just started a new song and its picking up tempo. Curly Blonde jumps on the back of the nearest chair and stares at Cute Piano Girl. The mother urges her to eat, but Curly Blondes jaw is dropped admiring the fast moving fingers of Cute Piano Girl. “I am watching her mommy!” she yells, but mommy does not care. “Would you rather go eat in the café?” After that threat, Curly Blonde opens her mouth and bites the sandwich her mom shoved into her face. Excited to get back onto the chair, Curly Blonde jumps up, but is pulled down by mommy, and she starts to walk away. They slow down as they pass the Cute Piano Girl, like everyone else, and Curly Blonde looks, sadly at Cute Piano Girl. They go around the corner and Curly Blonde is not seen again.
But at the same moment, an old woman, with the same curly, blonde hair rounds the same corner, in a wheel chair. She pulls up to the same chair, and sits there, facing Cute Piano Girl. Could this old woman be the Curly Blonde of her time, and this time excited that there is no mommy to pull her away? She gently drops two pennies into pond and gazes at Cute Piano Girl. She struggles to take her coat off. As she finally gets it off, she pulls out a sandwich, looks at it and starts trying to get her coat on. The tempo of the song increases and I look to see Cute Piano Girl’s fingers flying across the keys. I look back, and see Curly Blonde wheeling herself away, towards the café to eat her sandwich. Even without her mom, Curly Blonde did what mom would have done. The Cute Piano Girl smiled.
I looked around just before Curly Blonde left and noticed the people sitting there listening. A strange combination, there was an old White lady, an old Mexican man, a middle aged Black man, a young Black girl and myself, with my long hair and everything. I realized, even though there is nothing wrong with any of us, and there is no reason for any of us to not get along, we probably would not all be sitting there together if it was not for Cute Piano Girl.
The janitors had an annoying habit of rolling their carts by when Cute Piano Girl was playing. I knew they would not have if they had not needed to, but it was still annoying. What was more annoying was how everyone around had the tendency to get louder as they rolled by. Obviously so they could hear their own conversations, but one thing I did notice, was that Cute Piano Girl never got louder than the music called for. To her, the carts were not there, to her, they did not matter.
A young girl about the same age as Curly Blonde came up and was reading the sign about where all the change in the pond goes every night. Her mom was reading it to her because she had not yet learned to read. I look at her as she gazes in the pond. I smile and dig into my pockets and pull out some random change. Like Curly Blonde’s mom, I put the quarters back in my pocket with out realizing it. I hand the girl the change and ask her if she would like to make a wish. I believe personally that wishes or prayers for that matter do nothing for you. But for a girl at that age, why not? It could not hurt and the smile on the little girls face was huge, even larger than Cute Piano Girl’s. She whips the change in and smiles at me again, and her mom says “thank you”. As usual I look at the mother, taking full effect of that thank you in. I need it unlike Cute Piano Girl. They walk around and watch the piano get played and then I see the girl run back with two pennies. Perhaps she decided she would rather her daughter learn about giving and wishes and hope from her than some scruffy, long haired metal head that’s randomly sitting there with a lot of change. Either way, the girl was ecstatic. They walk away, slowing down in front of Cute Piano Girl as always.
So what does matter? I am still wondering that. Is it Cute Piano Girl that matters? She is the one that caused all the events above to occur. She is the one that got me thinking. Is she what matters? But how does that explain the old man and requests? How does it explain why Cute Piano Girl was smiling when people walked away, and especially why she did not get louder so everyone could hear her when the janitors carts rolled by? Perhaps I completely missed the point, which no matter who you ask, everyone’s interpretation of these events will be different, so I know for some of you I was way off base with this. I think nothing matters. Sure, there are the main things, happiness, love, friendship, giving, but in the end, someone seeing you happy, it does not matter. You seeing them happy does not matter. I think nothing matters, not even Cute Piano Girl. I think Cute Piano Girl was closest to finding what really matters though. The closest I will come to that feeling is seeing it happen to her. The thing that may possibly matter, but will never actually happen, is being noticed by everyone. It is impossible to touch everyone’s life, but everyone who passed Cute Piano Girl today was touched, even if not paying attention. I know I will never experience this, and, I know I will probably never even try at it. I am just going to take comfort that there are many Cute Piano Girls out there, and I am hoping each of them eventually one day, does reach everyone. By that day though, it may be too late for even that to matter.