Sunday Night Roundup - Canceled Edition.
First off, I tried being funny here, I did not succeed. I am just so disappointed, its just...this night is over for me. 6 damn shows. 6 shows, and they all sucked. If Halt and Catch fire brings on the bi-sexual lovin' again, I'll give that a try.
So, I 'watched' Leftovers, True Blood, The Strain, Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, The Lottery, and Witches of East end.
I honestly found no reason to watch any of these again. The regular series lack anything compelling or entertaining to me. They don't even have the slash working for them, yes, even True Blood was so boringly about the same old het we've seen for seven seasons.
John Oliver's show has come to embody what I detest about The Daily Show. 1 joke, run it into the ground and beat it into dust. Honestly, the last ten minutes of his show were about 1 theme, not shitting you here.
Witches of East End is the one show I know I will be skipping through next week. I'm still hopeful of some slashiness. I might give John Oliver another try. 3 weeks in a row he's wasted a good chunk of his time on one lame ass joke, that's a bad track record for a new show.
Leftovers, I tried to watch, but it was just so god damn unbearable, pun intended. It's just the worst. Everyone's part of a cult now. Everyone who is incompetent is in charge. No one knows a damn thing. The inexplicable has somehow become accepted fact. Everyone is flailing around like someone cut the head off and it's just flapping around until the nerves stop firing. Baby Jesus is on his way. And my body count never even friggen happened. It was a ruse. Bodies being shipped for burial, that's all it was. The stupid cults all survived, they even added more of them! Lindelof can go eat a goat dick!
The Hard Shit, aka The Strain. Vampires are bloodsucking evil, mm'kay? Like, vampires are bloodsucking evil, mm'kay? Fallout from last week, nothing to look forward to next week. Quarantine not meaning a thing and people conveniently letting the monster slip through their fingers? That's it, I'm out. Enjoy your sinking ratings and incoherent plot, I'll be watching Simpsons reruns.
True Blood. Things I learned from this week's episode: Blink and you'll miss it plot. Straight People have sex. Like, a lot. Bad wigs, bad costumes, Beel and Suckie, n' Eric-tion. Vampires are fast and old. I hope you paid attention, class, because it's obvious the producers stepped out before the lights went out and they're not coming back.
The Lottery. Holy shit, you made a sci-fi show unwatchable and so irritating I actually think it was produced by Hallmark. I highly recommend Rap's recap, she knows what she's doing, unlike the people behind this garbage. Seriously, don't waste your time on this show, just read her recap if you must know what it's about.
Witches of East End: Exposition! We get to know a bit about what happened and why the girls suddenly have a Marty Stu...I mean, a brother/son. He's not evil, ya'll. He's just scruffy that way easily duped. At this point, I just watch to see Christian Cooke's pretty, because, damn, he is pretty. And his American accent is amazing. That voice, that boy, that ass! If the women weren't so busy showing off their Dr. Seuss' School of Acting skills, this might be a pretty good guilty pleasure show. I kept expecting for Joan Collins to show up, flash her eyes, and purse her lips. Not that that is going to happen, that would be too awesome for this dog and pony show. Sadly, no plant boy, again. I want to see plant boy butt, damn it! Plant boy tapping Christian's hot ass would make me shutup about all the honey-glazed line delivery.
So, I 'watched' Leftovers, True Blood, The Strain, Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, The Lottery, and Witches of East end.
I honestly found no reason to watch any of these again. The regular series lack anything compelling or entertaining to me. They don't even have the slash working for them, yes, even True Blood was so boringly about the same old het we've seen for seven seasons.
John Oliver's show has come to embody what I detest about The Daily Show. 1 joke, run it into the ground and beat it into dust. Honestly, the last ten minutes of his show were about 1 theme, not shitting you here.
Witches of East End is the one show I know I will be skipping through next week. I'm still hopeful of some slashiness. I might give John Oliver another try. 3 weeks in a row he's wasted a good chunk of his time on one lame ass joke, that's a bad track record for a new show.
Leftovers, I tried to watch, but it was just so god damn unbearable, pun intended. It's just the worst. Everyone's part of a cult now. Everyone who is incompetent is in charge. No one knows a damn thing. The inexplicable has somehow become accepted fact. Everyone is flailing around like someone cut the head off and it's just flapping around until the nerves stop firing. Baby Jesus is on his way. And my body count never even friggen happened. It was a ruse. Bodies being shipped for burial, that's all it was. The stupid cults all survived, they even added more of them! Lindelof can go eat a goat dick!
The Hard Shit, aka The Strain. Vampires are bloodsucking evil, mm'kay? Like, vampires are bloodsucking evil, mm'kay? Fallout from last week, nothing to look forward to next week. Quarantine not meaning a thing and people conveniently letting the monster slip through their fingers? That's it, I'm out. Enjoy your sinking ratings and incoherent plot, I'll be watching Simpsons reruns.
True Blood. Things I learned from this week's episode: Blink and you'll miss it plot. Straight People have sex. Like, a lot. Bad wigs, bad costumes, Beel and Suckie, n' Eric-tion. Vampires are fast and old. I hope you paid attention, class, because it's obvious the producers stepped out before the lights went out and they're not coming back.
The Lottery. Holy shit, you made a sci-fi show unwatchable and so irritating I actually think it was produced by Hallmark. I highly recommend Rap's recap, she knows what she's doing, unlike the people behind this garbage. Seriously, don't waste your time on this show, just read her recap if you must know what it's about.
Witches of East End: Exposition! We get to know a bit about what happened and why the girls suddenly have a Marty Stu...I mean, a brother/son. He's not evil, ya'll. He's just scruffy that way easily duped. At this point, I just watch to see Christian Cooke's pretty, because, damn, he is pretty. And his American accent is amazing. That voice, that boy, that ass! If the women weren't so busy showing off their Dr. Seuss' School of Acting skills, this might be a pretty good guilty pleasure show. I kept expecting for Joan Collins to show up, flash her eyes, and purse her lips. Not that that is going to happen, that would be too awesome for this dog and pony show. Sadly, no plant boy, again. I want to see plant boy butt, damn it! Plant boy tapping Christian's hot ass would make me shutup about all the honey-glazed line delivery.