POOF
i felt so STRANGE tonight. particularly tonight. it was WEIRD. like my body doesn't want to sleep, i'm not tired, but i don't want to do nothing and at the same time I want to do something. but i felt a deep, strange lack of motivation. it was sad. i think it was mostly brought on b/c i played piccolo this morning and it sounded good. good tone. then 2nite i started (trying to) play, and it sounded like crapp. it made me mad b/c 12 hrs. ago i had a nice tone. and i noticed some cracks in one of the posts. . . . how did that get there? i don't remember doing anything weird. who knows? i did leave it in the band locker room. maybe somebody has a weird obsession w/ rental piccolos . . . I still feel it now. maybe i'm restless. maybe that's what that means. i know i won't be able to sleep tonight, like the last night and the one before. what is WRONG with me??? 2/3 days ago i slept soundly. i'm sick of this. i'm sick of taking pills, being on pills. i've had 3 different prescriptions in the last 1 / 2 months. i just want to go to bed but if i do i know i will suffer b/c i won't be able 2 sleep.