The other side of the storm
Things with Matthew and I seem to be getting better?He's supposed to arrive here in Mcallen at 5 on Friday. I'm happy I need to feel his arms around me. I need to know he loves me that he really wants to be with me. We've gotten into pretty intense arguements and we've said how we've felt. He told me he felt tied down?How the hell can he feel tied down when in fact I let him do whatever the hell he pleases. As for little Ol Sarah never does anything! But I guess he was talking about our future how we made plans to live together and now he's thinking twice. Which now is fine cause I always had a plan B if I wasn't going to live with him. Many people from Memorial will be attending college in SA therefore I know it won't be hard to find a roomate. Nevertheless,Gaby and I have been talking about rooming with each other for quite sometime so I believe that may happen. But if worse comes to worse I will stay on campus. They have this really nice apartments really upper class stuff which is nice but I would just like to have a place of my own with no guidlines or rules. But I've given him more space and have limited my calls to him. I believe calling him a lot may have been an issue we were both that way. I let him call me now which makes me feel better. I still feel this hugemungo hole somewhere in me but I just pray that it will get filled with love again. I prayed to God one night I just sad outside while I saw rain pour and talked to him. I begged him I prayed that things will get better.. They will..:/
You know I have amazing friends. I just thought everyone should know that. Amazing friends who care so much about me. I have two fucken amazing best friends. (priscilla & susy) God has blessed me with angels and they are them. They are both so different yet ever so alike. Each one of their differences plays a role in my life which is why I'm glad we're all best friends. We come to each other for different reasons.Susy,Prissy and I are sisters ..sister for life. I know ten years from now each of us will be something. I have such high hopes for them both. Especially Priscilla God has blessed her with an amazing talent that she will succeed. God I love her and Susy so fucken much. I thank God for them as much as possible. I also have amazing friends I can't forget them. Fucken Margarito I love him to death geezus I'd walk over fire just to save his cute ass. Adan,Cassie,Jenna,Elisa,Jessica, RANDY.. gahd I love those people with every bone in my fucken body. I hope I see them years from now and they're still as awesome as ever.
Have you ever wondered how it's going to be at your 10 year class reunion? What everyone became or is still striving to become?Who got married and lived the life they wanted? I want to be that person that everyone says,"I told you so..she did exactly what I thought she was going to do" So many people have high expectations for my life. I do too...this year is just a big slap in the face ..I'm starting life again.. we're grown ups now.. wow....
I'm tired.. oh yeah.. I helped out a "friend" last night.. she really needed my help I lost sleep for her bad habits..cocaine..:/
You know I have amazing friends. I just thought everyone should know that. Amazing friends who care so much about me. I have two fucken amazing best friends. (priscilla & susy) God has blessed me with angels and they are them. They are both so different yet ever so alike. Each one of their differences plays a role in my life which is why I'm glad we're all best friends. We come to each other for different reasons.Susy,Prissy and I are sisters ..sister for life. I know ten years from now each of us will be something. I have such high hopes for them both. Especially Priscilla God has blessed her with an amazing talent that she will succeed. God I love her and Susy so fucken much. I thank God for them as much as possible. I also have amazing friends I can't forget them. Fucken Margarito I love him to death geezus I'd walk over fire just to save his cute ass. Adan,Cassie,Jenna,Elisa,Jessica, RANDY.. gahd I love those people with every bone in my fucken body. I hope I see them years from now and they're still as awesome as ever.
Have you ever wondered how it's going to be at your 10 year class reunion? What everyone became or is still striving to become?Who got married and lived the life they wanted? I want to be that person that everyone says,"I told you so..she did exactly what I thought she was going to do" So many people have high expectations for my life. I do too...this year is just a big slap in the face ..I'm starting life again.. we're grown ups now.. wow....
I'm tired.. oh yeah.. I helped out a "friend" last night.. she really needed my help I lost sleep for her bad habits..cocaine..:/