(no subject)
yesterday was a prime example as to why i really need to take a vacation from this house. everyone and everything except for my animals and my xbox has been getting on my last nerve. my sister brought up a very good point yesterday... everyone is just taking advantage of the fact that dad is not here anymore. i know NONE of this shit would be happening if my dad was still around. to me, my dad not being around is a cheap excuse for people's actions. you are not doing dumb shit because it's hard for you. you are doing dumb shit because you don't give a fuck or you don't have any respect for mom or yourself. everyone looks at my mom like she is crazy for getting mad at certain things. but i understand clearly why she does and says those certain things. i wish i had more of a role in this family than just the "pool cleaner". i can't tell anyone anything because no one takes me seriously. if no one takes my mom seriously, how can they take their brother seriously. i'm outnumbered when it comes to my family, which is sometimes why i isolate myself from everyone because i have limited words and everyone has someone. no brothers to go to. i had my dad but that isn't possible anymore. my mom has too much on her plate. and i don't expect my older sisters to help me at all. i wouldnt even say that i isolate myself... when i think about it... i'm isolated by default. hopefully after all the shit that happened yesterday, things will change. but then with me being gone for 4 days, i'm afraid of what might happen when i'm not there.