Heroes Anonymous
Disclaimer: Still no superpower and still don’t own Heroes.
Note:
1. I intend to make this story one-off but due to some reviews and the endless possibilities of meetings that could take place, I try to write one more and see the feedback.
2. I realize now that Molly can’t find dead people but I won’t edit chapter 1 as I always want to include “I see dead people” somehow in my writing. They’re already out of character anyway so what harm can some inaccuracies cause.
3. I fully appreciate if someone can beta this fic.
“People with extraordinary powers and normal people,” announced Mohinder, “By the way, I try to include everyone here without the typical “ladies and gentlemen” as I’m very considerate.”
“Does it mean people with extraordinary powers are not normal?” inquired the genius, Micah, “How about people with some powers but not extraordinary like say kill people by crying?”
“Hey, I can hear you and am going to cry soon,” cried Maya.
“Why are you offended anyway unless such a power exists? I was just giving a very unlikely example,” asked confused Micah. He glanced at his mum who shook her head, quickly added, “Oh, I’m really sorry, I did not realize that you have sensitive hearing.”
“Maya, please calm yourself down! Her power is indeed to kill people by being upset which pretty much means we’re all doomed as she gets upset every 5 minutes. Not to worry now, the Haitian is around. I learned my lesson from the previous meeting. Luckily the Haitian came in time the last time to prevent another Peter’s explosion. Didn’t anybody think that my opening sentence is extraordinary?” beamed Mohinder.
“Yes, it was extraordinary,” exclaimed the rest of 3M household (Matt and Molly for those who don’t know).
“Yeah right, it was my idea anyway to have the Haitian waiting outside in case of emergency,” said a very smug Bennet.
“It seemed to only block certain powers though, like mine, but not when Ted exploded in your house so I can’t be 100% sure that we’re safe,” said Matt quite sensibly.
“Hey, I only cancel power when it’s needed,” defended the Haitian.
“Sure, usually ensuring the safety of your partner’s family will be someone’s priority but no, you think it’s beneath you, you only use your power to kidnap people!” continued Matt.
“Yes, and to make people forget and spend a few months in Ireland enduring horrible fake Irish accents doing non-destiny things,” agreed Peter.
“What exactly is non-destiny thing, Peter? You seem to use that word a lot. Matt, you should be my supporter in this meeting, being 3M and all, so could you please be quiet? We need to focus and continue,” barked impatient Mohinder.
“Not as much as you said “extraordinary” and “my father’s research,” mumbled Peter.
“My name is Monica and I have muscle memory according to Mohinder. That means I can copy any action that I have seen,” said Monica, “although I think I need to make sure I watch useful things, like fighting a few thugs instead of climbing wall.”
“Tell me about it. If it’s not because of you, I wouldn’t be in the explosion,” cried Niki/or perhaps Jessica/or perhaps Gina.
“Were you in an explosion? How come you’re still alive? I believe in karmic retribution then,“ grinned Matt.
“You’re a very vengeful fellow, aren’t you? First the Haitian, now me, who’s next? Sylar, perhaps? The way I survived the explosion was the same as the way you survived four gunshots. Does it make sense?” growled now-is-really Jessica.
Matt inched away before decided to use his power to ask Jessica to back away.
“Matt, did you just use your mental power again? I told you not to do so,” groaned Mohinder.
“What? It’s survival of the fittest. Darwin would agree,” said Matt proudly.
“Oh please, could we two please stop bickering like old married couple? Regardless whether you are indeed couple. Not that I mind as I’m not homophobic. If the meeting drags on for too long, I’ll grow unfashionable beard again in very short time. By the way, Pete, you have that power too, the growing beard power, with you being a Petrelli and an empathic,” grinned Nathan uncharacteristically.
“Wow, flying man, you can also grow beard, that’s so cool. I always want to grow beard to look like the real Kensei, well, my childhood version of Kensei, not the Adam Monroe’s one,” said Hiro excitingly and gestured frantically about holding imaginary beard with Ando.
“What? What lame power do I copy this time? I agree that having muscle memory is cool. But having Maya’s killing by crying and Nathan’s growing beard power is not part of my DESTINY of being HEROIC,“ whined Peter, “I still think my emo hair looked better.”
“Please stop being silly! Did I hear the “d” word and “h” word again?” Mohinder said with barely suppressed grin, “Anyway, I’m pretty sure you aren’t a crybaby so it’s OK. It might be handy to cry whenever an enemy approaches you although you might kill the whole block as well. Comparing to nearly destroying the whole New York, one block isn’t too bad. Don’t listen to Nathan about his power! Who’s next?
“How about me? I can demonstrate my power,” said Elle as she electrocuted the speakers in the room.
“OH GREAT! NOW, I HAVE TO SPEAK ON TOP OF MY LUNG. HOW CAN YOUR POWER WORK WHEN THE HAITIAN IS AROUND? WHERE IS HE, BY THE WAY?” screamed Mohinder hysterically.
“Oh, he left around 5 minutes ago. Saying that he needs to use the bathroom to” explained Claire helpfully.
“Thank you, Claire, we don’t need to hear the gory detail of the who-cannot-be-named-Haitian doing in the bathroom,” said Bennet hurriedly.
“Yes, kidnapping people probably,” mumbled Matt.
“Mohinder, I also bring backup speakers in case of emergency, you know, the Company always prepare for every emergency. Oh, I did it again, I don’t work in the Company anymore, shouldn’t keep promoting them,” lamented Bennet.
“Thank you, Bennet. You’re proven to be a loyal employee after all. If anyone decides to join the Company, you won’t regret it,” said Bob as he turned the chair sat by Adam into gold, “as you will be paid handsomely.”
“What a bunch of show-off family!” exclaimed Adam who decided it’s time to grace his meeting with his talk about killing mankind. “Who wanted to join me for the quest of immortality and destroying mankind? Well, immortal for me literally, and too bad metaphorically for the rest of you.”
“Speak for yourself!” exclaimed distressed Claire.
Hiro quickly teleported Adam out of the room before any further damage is done.
As everyone was surprised by sudden exit of Hiro and Adam, a dark figure walked into the room holding a can of spinach and a tub of frozen yoghurt, unable to eat either of them as his hands were full (It was inconvenient to feed yourself telekinetically).
The newcomer said, “Oh golly, there’s an anonymous meeting and I wasn’t invited. I’m very disappointed, Mohinder, after all we’ve been through, I thought I was special.”
“Oh no, not again! Enough of déjà vu!” groaned everyone collectively.
Note (again): Please tell me what you think. I can continue or leave it like this. This “story” is a bit forced especially the ending as I don’t have any fresh idea but I have the itch to write. I know they’re out of character but hey, it’s a parody.
Note:
1. I intend to make this story one-off but due to some reviews and the endless possibilities of meetings that could take place, I try to write one more and see the feedback.
2. I realize now that Molly can’t find dead people but I won’t edit chapter 1 as I always want to include “I see dead people” somehow in my writing. They’re already out of character anyway so what harm can some inaccuracies cause.
3. I fully appreciate if someone can beta this fic.
“People with extraordinary powers and normal people,” announced Mohinder, “By the way, I try to include everyone here without the typical “ladies and gentlemen” as I’m very considerate.”
“Does it mean people with extraordinary powers are not normal?” inquired the genius, Micah, “How about people with some powers but not extraordinary like say kill people by crying?”
“Hey, I can hear you and am going to cry soon,” cried Maya.
“Why are you offended anyway unless such a power exists? I was just giving a very unlikely example,” asked confused Micah. He glanced at his mum who shook her head, quickly added, “Oh, I’m really sorry, I did not realize that you have sensitive hearing.”
“Maya, please calm yourself down! Her power is indeed to kill people by being upset which pretty much means we’re all doomed as she gets upset every 5 minutes. Not to worry now, the Haitian is around. I learned my lesson from the previous meeting. Luckily the Haitian came in time the last time to prevent another Peter’s explosion. Didn’t anybody think that my opening sentence is extraordinary?” beamed Mohinder.
“Yes, it was extraordinary,” exclaimed the rest of 3M household (Matt and Molly for those who don’t know).
“Yeah right, it was my idea anyway to have the Haitian waiting outside in case of emergency,” said a very smug Bennet.
“It seemed to only block certain powers though, like mine, but not when Ted exploded in your house so I can’t be 100% sure that we’re safe,” said Matt quite sensibly.
“Hey, I only cancel power when it’s needed,” defended the Haitian.
“Sure, usually ensuring the safety of your partner’s family will be someone’s priority but no, you think it’s beneath you, you only use your power to kidnap people!” continued Matt.
“Yes, and to make people forget and spend a few months in Ireland enduring horrible fake Irish accents doing non-destiny things,” agreed Peter.
“What exactly is non-destiny thing, Peter? You seem to use that word a lot. Matt, you should be my supporter in this meeting, being 3M and all, so could you please be quiet? We need to focus and continue,” barked impatient Mohinder.
“Not as much as you said “extraordinary” and “my father’s research,” mumbled Peter.
“My name is Monica and I have muscle memory according to Mohinder. That means I can copy any action that I have seen,” said Monica, “although I think I need to make sure I watch useful things, like fighting a few thugs instead of climbing wall.”
“Tell me about it. If it’s not because of you, I wouldn’t be in the explosion,” cried Niki/or perhaps Jessica/or perhaps Gina.
“Were you in an explosion? How come you’re still alive? I believe in karmic retribution then,“ grinned Matt.
“You’re a very vengeful fellow, aren’t you? First the Haitian, now me, who’s next? Sylar, perhaps? The way I survived the explosion was the same as the way you survived four gunshots. Does it make sense?” growled now-is-really Jessica.
Matt inched away before decided to use his power to ask Jessica to back away.
“Matt, did you just use your mental power again? I told you not to do so,” groaned Mohinder.
“What? It’s survival of the fittest. Darwin would agree,” said Matt proudly.
“Oh please, could we two please stop bickering like old married couple? Regardless whether you are indeed couple. Not that I mind as I’m not homophobic. If the meeting drags on for too long, I’ll grow unfashionable beard again in very short time. By the way, Pete, you have that power too, the growing beard power, with you being a Petrelli and an empathic,” grinned Nathan uncharacteristically.
“Wow, flying man, you can also grow beard, that’s so cool. I always want to grow beard to look like the real Kensei, well, my childhood version of Kensei, not the Adam Monroe’s one,” said Hiro excitingly and gestured frantically about holding imaginary beard with Ando.
“What? What lame power do I copy this time? I agree that having muscle memory is cool. But having Maya’s killing by crying and Nathan’s growing beard power is not part of my DESTINY of being HEROIC,“ whined Peter, “I still think my emo hair looked better.”
“Please stop being silly! Did I hear the “d” word and “h” word again?” Mohinder said with barely suppressed grin, “Anyway, I’m pretty sure you aren’t a crybaby so it’s OK. It might be handy to cry whenever an enemy approaches you although you might kill the whole block as well. Comparing to nearly destroying the whole New York, one block isn’t too bad. Don’t listen to Nathan about his power! Who’s next?
“How about me? I can demonstrate my power,” said Elle as she electrocuted the speakers in the room.
“OH GREAT! NOW, I HAVE TO SPEAK ON TOP OF MY LUNG. HOW CAN YOUR POWER WORK WHEN THE HAITIAN IS AROUND? WHERE IS HE, BY THE WAY?” screamed Mohinder hysterically.
“Oh, he left around 5 minutes ago. Saying that he needs to use the bathroom to” explained Claire helpfully.
“Thank you, Claire, we don’t need to hear the gory detail of the who-cannot-be-named-Haitian doing in the bathroom,” said Bennet hurriedly.
“Yes, kidnapping people probably,” mumbled Matt.
“Mohinder, I also bring backup speakers in case of emergency, you know, the Company always prepare for every emergency. Oh, I did it again, I don’t work in the Company anymore, shouldn’t keep promoting them,” lamented Bennet.
“Thank you, Bennet. You’re proven to be a loyal employee after all. If anyone decides to join the Company, you won’t regret it,” said Bob as he turned the chair sat by Adam into gold, “as you will be paid handsomely.”
“What a bunch of show-off family!” exclaimed Adam who decided it’s time to grace his meeting with his talk about killing mankind. “Who wanted to join me for the quest of immortality and destroying mankind? Well, immortal for me literally, and too bad metaphorically for the rest of you.”
“Speak for yourself!” exclaimed distressed Claire.
Hiro quickly teleported Adam out of the room before any further damage is done.
As everyone was surprised by sudden exit of Hiro and Adam, a dark figure walked into the room holding a can of spinach and a tub of frozen yoghurt, unable to eat either of them as his hands were full (It was inconvenient to feed yourself telekinetically).
The newcomer said, “Oh golly, there’s an anonymous meeting and I wasn’t invited. I’m very disappointed, Mohinder, after all we’ve been through, I thought I was special.”
“Oh no, not again! Enough of déjà vu!” groaned everyone collectively.
Note (again): Please tell me what you think. I can continue or leave it like this. This “story” is a bit forced especially the ending as I don’t have any fresh idea but I have the itch to write. I know they’re out of character but hey, it’s a parody.