(no subject)

[i_stalk_you]

the older i get, the more things i experience, the more people i meet the more i grow apart from my old self. the me that was spontaneous, care free, crazy, loud, fun, outgoing. instead i've taken on the attributes of a hermit crab. instead of introducing myself i sit back and wait for others. i scope out the scene before diving in. only a select few see the person i am, the person i love to be. i don't know if that's because through all the experiences i've been through my heart has harden or if it's because i'm scared to trust another person. believe me, if this was an easily fixable "problem" it'd be "fixed" by now. i don't enjoy being the person i've become. i don't like the path i'm going down.
i'm starting to realize that i can't change who i am by myself and that i'm going to need help from others. the problem is finding someone to confide in. i can think of a select few that i would share my thoughts with. but then i worry about minimizing their problems, and me being selfish wanting to talk about just me. stupid, i know.

i want to have fun. i want to enjoy myself. i want to be that crazy megan that i used to be...

on the other hand, i might still be that same girl, in a more mature fashion, on a higher level persay.
obviously i have a lot to figure out.
and i'm lame for even writing this...

hahahahaha my life is awesome.
but seriously.
it is.