Comments | i_speak_tongue: Fic: White Noise

i_speak_tongue

Fic: White Noise

Apr 22, 2014 18:03

TITLE: White Noise
RATING: PG13
GENRE: Gen, h/c, angst
WORDS: 1707
CHAR: Dean, Sam
SUMMARY: Coda to 9.18. Dean deals, with varying levels of success.

( If he didn’t move his hand at all Dean could feel the thrum of the Mark overtake it for his attention like the hum of a fridge in a suddenly quiet house. It was oddly comforting. )

oneshots

Comments 18

biketest April 22 2014, 22:22:04 UTC

I just reblogged this fic on tumblr. :) Everything about it is so perfect. I loved the part about Gadreel's words and Sam's words mixing together in Dean's brain, and how he wishes that Sam would keep up his end of the not brothers thing. I keep thinking about that while watching the show how confusing it must be for Dean when Sam kind of acts like he cares but is still being distant and hasn't said they're brothers again. Sigh. But the part that killed most was when he was thinking about how he just needs to take care of himself long enough to get rid of Abaddon/Crowley/Metatron, and the implication of the idea that after that he won't need to take care of himself. ;;_;; Also your Dean voice is always flawless.

i_speak_tongue April 22 2014, 23:03:45 UTC

That's you? Awesome! And I'm so glad you liked it. It was a bitch to write, honestly, because I feel like there are so many conflicting emotions going through Dean's head right now, and it was hard to make something sensical out of that, you know? SO I'm glad his internal thoughts came across as realistic.

borgmama1of5 April 22 2014, 22:41:01 UTC

Dean being 'strong' enough to not need anyone...because he doesn't want to get hurt by trusting anymore...rips a hole in my heart and feels exactly like the way Dean would treat himself...I think this is exactly where Dean's head is at. Perfect--if heartbreaking--riting!

i_speak_tongue April 22 2014, 23:10:19 UTC

Thank you so much! It definitely hurt to write.

jj1564 April 23 2014, 00:22:20 UTC

You have captured Dean's isolation, confusion and despair perfectly. I can imagine this was hard to write, so many emotions, but you nailed it. I loved this..

'He couldn’t live like this. Sam was alive and healthy and here with him, but everything was so cock-eyed and Dean had never felt so fucking alone.

Inside, he could still feel his fractured soul begging him to fight against what the Mark was doing to him. It was like fighting a gag reflex. Because deep down, he still wanted to be saved. '

Poor Dean! So alone and so scared. Loved this.

verucasalt123 April 23 2014, 01:26:14 UTC

Dean's pulled into a million pieces and you've captured it perfectly. He wants to accept the darkness, but he wants to be saved; he craves Sam's affection but runs from it. Poor Dean.

tabaqui April 23 2014, 02:15:06 UTC

Ah, man. That...really hits hard, and it's what's coming for Dean, too, and it just...is not fair.

Love the whole analogy, but especially this bit: Forcing Dean to live with everything he thought he could pretend he didn’t own.

Excellent.