This is so very on point, and something I wish the show would address in a manner more than Sam trying to get out from under Dean's protective bubble (because that's what it is when Sam tries to address it, he doesn't address it for Dean's sake, but for his own, you see this when he yells at Dean for not trusting him, for always treating him as the little brother. Not that I blame Sam for this, as he has his own pathologies, but, well. Okay, I totally blame Sam for it, because Sam has spent the last 8 seasons refusing to grow up. . . .)
Of course, it's reached the point where if anyone were to try to be that to Dean, he wouldn't recognize it or trust it, because it's so ingrained in him that that isn't something he gets to have.
I think the fact that Dean needs that kind of relationship is why I've always tried to ship him with everyone he comes across, because I'm looking for someone who will be what everyone else in his life hasn't been. And what you said about him not trusting it...it's like how he pushed away Lisa, because he didn't think he deserved a family like that or to be loved.
Absolutely. I definitely think he self-sabotages when he thinks he might get close to such a relationship, on a subconscious level. It's the whole "hurt them before they can hurt me" thing. He's convinced it will happen, so he makes it so. Going to Lisa's house as a vampire was, I think, very much about the possibility to say goodbye to her, but also about proving to himself that she couldn't be what he wanted most. Which, of course she couldn't, since he never TOLD her what was going wrong in the first place. . . .
Yup! And he does it with everyone, really. His belief that nobody could ever stand by him or love him as much as he loves everyone else is so deep set that he does things like keeping secrets and not putting everything out there so that he has a reason to close off when it doesn't work. Of course, all this stems from his deeply ingrained issues and losses, but it's so sad to see him perpetuate it himself and cause so many of his own troubles, on top of the effect Sam and Cas(and John and Bobby and everyone else who left) have on him.
Of course, it's reached the point where if anyone were to try to be that to Dean, he wouldn't recognize it or trust it, because it's so ingrained in him that that isn't something he gets to have.
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