If I make you happy, then why the hell I'm I so sad
WARNING, THIS IS A VERY DEPRESSING RANT OF SORTS...random thought are thrown in. but the likeliness of this making sense is slim
1) I have about 16days left on this Island. Just saying that makes my stomach turn. I have no idea how I feel about this. I wish I could either say I was excited and couldn't wait to leave, or I was scared and didn't want to leave at all. But, no. Instead I have this uncertain feeling that isn't leaving me. I know it'll be a good thing for me to leave. But, I'm scared of what I'm going to miss. I don't want to be forgotten. That really scares me. Actually, so many things are scarying me right now. Leaving...Staying. There is nothing that I feel right doing.
I hate that right before I leave I am starting new relationships.I am meeting new awesome people and I am making new friends. But, I'm going to be gone away from them longer then I've known them, so it's not like we are going to stay close. Which sucks. And I hate it. I just wish I could fast forward time and be home already. Going to the airport is going to be really hard. I don't want to leave my friends. I love them all way too much. Even the ones I don't see everyday. Knowing that I am leaving for this long is a really bizaarr feeling. It's alomost like I'm dying. Because I know I have have so much time left to spend with people. morbid.
2)You aren't worth me being upset over. And the worst part is that I know that, but I can't help it. You are a wonderful wonderful person and I have so much fun with you. And I love it when we are together. But when we aren't, things change. I'm not important. Maybe you just assume I'll be here. But, I'm not wasting my time. I have a minimum amount of time to spend with the people I care about. And if you aren't willing to take time out of your life for me then I am not willing to waste mine on you. I am going miss you though. alot. And you won't even be mine when I'm home. That makes me sad. I hope we stay in touch. And I hope that you come visit me. but most of all I hope we make this work for these last two weeks. I'd like to spend them with you.
3) I get to vote today.
4)making new bff's is the best, especially ones that you barely know, but they have the power to make you smile when you are on the verge of tears.
5)16days to hang out. please?
6) i need to see the movie garden state (apparently) so...yeah
1) I have about 16days left on this Island. Just saying that makes my stomach turn. I have no idea how I feel about this. I wish I could either say I was excited and couldn't wait to leave, or I was scared and didn't want to leave at all. But, no. Instead I have this uncertain feeling that isn't leaving me. I know it'll be a good thing for me to leave. But, I'm scared of what I'm going to miss. I don't want to be forgotten. That really scares me. Actually, so many things are scarying me right now. Leaving...Staying. There is nothing that I feel right doing.
I hate that right before I leave I am starting new relationships.I am meeting new awesome people and I am making new friends. But, I'm going to be gone away from them longer then I've known them, so it's not like we are going to stay close. Which sucks. And I hate it. I just wish I could fast forward time and be home already. Going to the airport is going to be really hard. I don't want to leave my friends. I love them all way too much. Even the ones I don't see everyday. Knowing that I am leaving for this long is a really bizaarr feeling. It's alomost like I'm dying. Because I know I have have so much time left to spend with people. morbid.
2)You aren't worth me being upset over. And the worst part is that I know that, but I can't help it. You are a wonderful wonderful person and I have so much fun with you. And I love it when we are together. But when we aren't, things change. I'm not important. Maybe you just assume I'll be here. But, I'm not wasting my time. I have a minimum amount of time to spend with the people I care about. And if you aren't willing to take time out of your life for me then I am not willing to waste mine on you. I am going miss you though. alot. And you won't even be mine when I'm home. That makes me sad. I hope we stay in touch. And I hope that you come visit me. but most of all I hope we make this work for these last two weeks. I'd like to spend them with you.
3) I get to vote today.
4)making new bff's is the best, especially ones that you barely know, but they have the power to make you smile when you are on the verge of tears.
5)16days to hang out. please?
6) i need to see the movie garden state (apparently) so...yeah