Left remebering what its like, to have you here with me...

[i_shouldbe_dead]

Torn
Hurt...some wounds heal. Is this one of them?
I hate to admit it but i miss them, after all of this i do.
But now theres just not a longing for the friendship, I see them and the theres all of the memories, good and bad.
Some times i think i can just say hello, or how are you.
But i choke,
This isn't fair to everyone,
"this isn't about keeping your promises, Its about following your heart"
I'm to upset i guess to make desicions about the future, but once again. I'm not left with much time. Maybe its better that way.
I dont know if its just the memories that make this so painful... the ones i can remeber at least.
Some i cant even begin to comprehend.
Most of this feels like it was a complete story,..
We were going to write a book... Once upon a time.
And now times running short, or it maybe out..
But i cant even make the first step because i cant get over past..
Is it supposed to be this way?
If this is what i'm supposed to do why does it seem so wrong
Why cant i just make a desicion...
Still questioning....
Torn.