heat bad. yoga good.
Wow, I actually slept in today til 11. I was proud of myself. I've gotten in this irritating habit of not being able to sleep in past 8:30, and then having this mild freakout where I think I've forgotten to set my alarm and am late for work. Life's been good the past few days. Today I'm actually going to start painting my room blue. Saturday night Scott and my family went to the muny and saw Singin in the Rain. It was a fun night, though I honestly think our Dayspring production was better as far as the acting went. The guy's were actually pretty good, but our Lina and Kathy were better. It made me miss being involved in theatre as seeing plays always do. I loved it. I would love to be in a production other than at Dayspring also. Bleh, I'm getting all nostalgic just thinking about it.
Saturday morning was good and not good. I get there right as beginner class is ending and something that I'd comletely forgotten about comes up. Terry brings up something I said in that stupid email argument we had a week ago, where he had insulted my fencing and I said I'd never turned anyone especially him, down from a bout. So he challenges me. I don't know what it is about him. I can offer a wealth of excuses, I wasn't warmed up, I hadn't bouted in 2 weeks, I'm still extremely uncomfortable fencing Italian. Basically I was intimidated by him, and I felt my fencing mindset go blank. It was like everything I'd learned disapeared. There's also the fact that in every class I go to, there's jokes made about "this is what you do against Terry." Two things about this...I get tired of hearing people rag on Terry. I don't think it's funny anymore and is mean. We don't need to sink to that level. Whatever. I don't really get on other people when they do, but I don't laugh and I won't do it myself. The other thing...what was the other thing...Oh yes. It's become such a given that everyone should be able to beat Terry. That's what was playing over and over in my mind, so I completely psyched myself out and let's just say that I do not want to watch the bout that was RECORDED!! Oh, yeah add that to my nervousness thanks. I don't usually think about other people watching me when I bout, not even in juried bouting, it doesn't really affect me. But whatever.
So afterwards I was pretty sure I'd done badly, but Scott confirmed it for me. Several thoughts about this. One: I was able to find one very positive thing in this, for a long time I wondered if he would ever actually critisize me, or tell me honestly if I'd done bad, or if he'd even let me see my faults. I wasn't sure he would and that bothered me. Because if I'm going to have someone tell me my performance sucked then I'd much rather it be someone who cared about me than, say the twins. Oh, dear God, thank goodness they weren't there that Saturday. I just can't even...bleh...thank you Jesus that they stayed in bed. If they'd been there, I know exactly what would have happened. My bout would have gone from terrible to worse because they would have started talking about it during it, and I would have been able to hear. And then they would have started telling me exactly what I did wrong, and if all this had happened, I swear I would have left crying. And Kelly and Sarah would have new people to hate and rant about. Thankfully the only person who I probably would have taken this well from was the one who gave it to me straight about how I'd bouted.
Now for those who don't fence, or play some sport, they might not understand why I'm going on and on about this. The thing is fencing is the only competitive sport that I've ever been good at. And I'm reasonably good at it. And the other thing is, I love it.
But yeah. So that's that. And I really should get moving on my day. I did yoga today. I love yoga. My body feels all aligned and that is good. Ciao.
Saturday morning was good and not good. I get there right as beginner class is ending and something that I'd comletely forgotten about comes up. Terry brings up something I said in that stupid email argument we had a week ago, where he had insulted my fencing and I said I'd never turned anyone especially him, down from a bout. So he challenges me. I don't know what it is about him. I can offer a wealth of excuses, I wasn't warmed up, I hadn't bouted in 2 weeks, I'm still extremely uncomfortable fencing Italian. Basically I was intimidated by him, and I felt my fencing mindset go blank. It was like everything I'd learned disapeared. There's also the fact that in every class I go to, there's jokes made about "this is what you do against Terry." Two things about this...I get tired of hearing people rag on Terry. I don't think it's funny anymore and is mean. We don't need to sink to that level. Whatever. I don't really get on other people when they do, but I don't laugh and I won't do it myself. The other thing...what was the other thing...Oh yes. It's become such a given that everyone should be able to beat Terry. That's what was playing over and over in my mind, so I completely psyched myself out and let's just say that I do not want to watch the bout that was RECORDED!! Oh, yeah add that to my nervousness thanks. I don't usually think about other people watching me when I bout, not even in juried bouting, it doesn't really affect me. But whatever.
So afterwards I was pretty sure I'd done badly, but Scott confirmed it for me. Several thoughts about this. One: I was able to find one very positive thing in this, for a long time I wondered if he would ever actually critisize me, or tell me honestly if I'd done bad, or if he'd even let me see my faults. I wasn't sure he would and that bothered me. Because if I'm going to have someone tell me my performance sucked then I'd much rather it be someone who cared about me than, say the twins. Oh, dear God, thank goodness they weren't there that Saturday. I just can't even...bleh...thank you Jesus that they stayed in bed. If they'd been there, I know exactly what would have happened. My bout would have gone from terrible to worse because they would have started talking about it during it, and I would have been able to hear. And then they would have started telling me exactly what I did wrong, and if all this had happened, I swear I would have left crying. And Kelly and Sarah would have new people to hate and rant about. Thankfully the only person who I probably would have taken this well from was the one who gave it to me straight about how I'd bouted.
Now for those who don't fence, or play some sport, they might not understand why I'm going on and on about this. The thing is fencing is the only competitive sport that I've ever been good at. And I'm reasonably good at it. And the other thing is, I love it.
But yeah. So that's that. And I really should get moving on my day. I did yoga today. I love yoga. My body feels all aligned and that is good. Ciao.