Traveling soldier [4/4]
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: AU Callica
Summary: Tomorrow it will be a year since I met Erica. It has been the longest year I can remember, and the most painful.
After I finish my early shift, I go to the store to try to pick out something for dinner. These days I don't really care, and I'll pick just about anything. In an aisle I see Heather Allen pushing a baby carriage. She's out with her son, he must be about three months old now. I've never thought about having kids, it always seemed like something I'd do when I got older, but now I'm jealous of Heather. She has something of her husband to hold on to, a little boy with his features. Even if her husband dies, she'll still have a part of him. If Erica dies, I won't have anything left.
I push the thought from my head, quickly grab some food to get me through the day and go stand in line to pay. That's when I hear it. That laughter, that same chuckle, the throaty laugh I love so much, and my breath hitches. I step out of the line, searching for that familiar blonde, walk past dismayed people thinking I'm sneaking in line, but i barely hear them, all I can think about is Erica, my mind is chanting it loudly, Erica, Erica, Erica.
I hear the laughter again, and finally see the woman it belongs to. It's a brunette in her thirties, who looks nothing like Erica. These days, it often happens that I think I see or hear her; I see blonde hair, a certain way of walking or hear someone sigh, and I think it's her.
Tears well up in my eyes and I go back to the end of the line, too shattered to leave the store, too exhausted to think about doing anything except the plan. So I pay for my groceries, go home, watch TV, pick at my food, and finally fall asleep on the couch.
She comes to me in my dreams. Tonight, we go back to that pier, she tells me she'll never leave me again. She has no pins in her hair, it flows easily down over her shoulders, in beautiful, silky curls. She asks me to go swimming in the river with her, and she sheds her clothes, revealing all her creamy, pale curves, before diving in. When her head emerges from the water, she smiles and laughs at me, because i hesitate, dumbstruck by seeing her naked, and her laughter is the most beautiful sound I've ever heard.
When I wake up, it takes me a while to realize that it didn't happen. I wish I could stay asleep and dream of Erica. Next, I realize that today it is exactly a year since that day down at the pier, the day I met the woman I love.
During the week, I have the same dream several times, and I don't know if it's a good or bad thing. I'm glad to at least see her in my dreams, but it hurts losing her each time I wake up, even if it's not really her, but an image my mind conjured up.
Friday finally comes, it'll be weekend soon, and I wake up from another Erica-dream. I briefly contemplate going back to sleep, and try to find back to the dream, but I know my parents would think I was ill if I stayed home. What would I say to them? 'I fell in love with a girl who went to war, and now I'm worried sick about her'? They already know something's up, from the distant way I've been acting lately, but they would never guess the reason. They wouldn't want to guess the reason.
So I get up and go to work. I spill a pot of coffee, smash a few plates, things that are normal after Erica left. I'm picking up the pieces of a smashed plate when I hear the door open. I continue what I'm doing, not really caring who comes in.
«Do you need any help with that?» I think it must be my mind playing tricks on me, making me hear what I want to hear. I want to savor this moment, the moment where I have hope, where I think she's come home. So I slowly, slowly raise my head, and I see a big, armygreen backpack next to pale ankles, a thin summer skirt, a dark blue blouse, beautiful, blonde curls, and the bluest eyes I've ever seen.
«Erica...» It comes out as a whisper, the sight of her leaving me breathless. I drop the pieces of the plate in my hands, they clatter as they hit the floor, and raise myself off my knees. She simply smiles at me, the most gorgeous smile and it's for me. She takes a step forward and I can't help myself, I literally fling myself at her, I hug her hard, needing to make sure she's real, before kissing her soft, rosy lips. I hear something in the background, maybe a gasp or a whisper, but I don't care, I only see her. I feel her arms caress my back and her tongue cautiously running over my lips. I can't hold back the whimper as I grant her access, and our tongues meet in a kiss which says everything we haven't had the chance to say to each other yet. It promises more, it speaks of us being together, from here on out, it assures us we meant every word we wrote each other, it's passionate but affectionate.
We finally pull away, I look into those incredibly blue eyes of hers and I see a sparkle there which I haven't seen before.
«You're here.» I say, tears blurring my vision. I blink a few times to see her clearly again, making sure she's really there. I still don't trust that this is really happening.
«I hope it's ok that I went here first. I just had to see you. Sorry I didn't give you any warning.»
«You hope it's ok? Erica, this last year all I could think about was seeing you again!» I lace my fingers with hers.
«Same here.» She smiles at me, relieved and a little shyly.
I start noticing the people around us are whispering loudly, and I look around. People are staring at us from every table, every booth, one man even has his mouth open.
«What are you looking at», I say exhilarated, «I'm just kissing my girlfriend!» I look at Erica again, to see if it was ok that I called her my girlfriend. Her eyes are moist from tears, her smile warm and genuine.
«Hey, Bill», I yell to the owner of the diner, an old friend of the family, «I quit. I'm going to travel the country with my girlfriend!» The voices grow louder, baffled stares pierce us, the diner is full of people I've known my entire life. And I don't care.
«You still wanna travel through the States with me, like you wrote in a letter?»
«I'd love to.» Another smile which makes me giddy with emotion.
«Alright, let's go.» We smile at each other, neither really believing we're in the same country, in the same town.
I show her my little apartment, get my two suitcases out, pack what i can stuff in them and tell the landlady she can look for someone else to rent the apartment out to. I ask Erica if she wants to wait until tomorrow to go, because she must be tired from traveling. But like me, she can't wait to get going and finally start living again. So i hurriedly throw what little stuff I have left in the apartment into some cardboard boxes and ask the old neighbor Tommy Thompson if I can borrow his truck for half an hour. He lets me, and me and Erica drive over to my parents' house with the boxes. Dad's at work, and I hope mom's still at the grocery store. I know they wouldn't let me go if they knew.
Carrying the boxes from the car to the garage, we try to work as swiftly as possible, in case mom comes home or the neighbors see us. I leave a note on top of the boxes, thanking mom and dad for being such great parents, telling them I'm leaving to see the States now that my soldier's come home. Let the gossip do the rest. They probably already heard. I hope they will forgive me some day, and understand that love isn't something you choose yourself.
We return Tommy's old truck, and head for the bus stop where my world grinded to a halt a year ago. This time, it's where my life starts.