you're so misunderstood
Yesterday, mom moved her clothes out. Dad sat at the kitchen table, wavering between severely depressed and homicidal. He ran into my mother and her new boyfriend last night, and he described the scene to me. I took it all in, and I felt like Dr. Mierzwiak in "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind," in that scene where he says "Yes, I suppose this is what it would look like." He makes it all go away. Men in my family are hopeless, driven, and tragedy hits us really hard. We're Buendias. I'm reading that book, "One Hundred Years of Solitude," and it's heartbreaking and inspires me to be a better writer.
Did anyone see that movie "Magnolia"? I woke up last weekend in Boston with a line from that in my head: "The book says, we may be through with the past, but the past isn't through with us." I'm not sure why, but all of a sudden it started existing in my life the next week. I don't know if that's because I thought of that line and forced it to apply to my life, or if it's just something that happened.
There are two songs that remind me of my life lately. They are "Clown Town" by Xiu Xiu, and "Game Shows Touch Our Lives" by the Mountain Goats. "Misunderstood" by Wilco can probably be added to that list. Here are the lyrics to the first two:
1. Up and down through what you thought would be your future, came the dark reminder of what a rash and inconsistent faith you had in loving your true self and your true love. Clown town, no shelter, clown town, no anything, clown town, single angel, clowne town, no exit. Your true father smashed his hands through the glass, and failed out of the priviledged life of his dream. Your true love has drunk herself into not being able to pay her rent, keeping her own word to her own self. Your true brother has betrayed you over and over and looked you in the eye. Your true self has become weak and alone and annoying, and a true ridiculous dumb-ass. Clown town, revealing nothing, clown town, a flock of coots, clown town, a single beauty, clown town, a big dumb kid.
2. Dug up a fifth of hood river gin, and that stuff tastes like medicine, but i'll take it. It'll do. On the couch in the living room all day long, music on the television playing our song. I'm in the mood, the mood for you. Turn the volume up real high, all of that money, look at it fly. and you, smoking like a chimney. shadows crawled across the living room's length, I held onto you with a desperate strength, with everything. with everything in me. I handed you a drink of the lovely little thing on which our survival depends. People say friends dont destroy one another: what do they know about friends? Thunder clouds forming, cream white moon, everything's gonna be okay soon, maybe tomorrow, maybe the next day. Carried you up the stairs that night, all of this could be yours, if the price is right. I heard cars headed down to oblivion on the expressway. Your drunken kiss is as light as the air, maybe everything that falls down eventually rises. Our house sinking into disrepair, I would look at this showroom filled with fabulous prizes.
Oh, but my true brother has not betrayed me at all. Which is a good thing. Him and I may start going on vigilante justice missions with gold fishes hanging low in the circles where they've drawn our hearts.
By the way, it's good to have a good friend (and you know if this is for you).
Did anyone see that movie "Magnolia"? I woke up last weekend in Boston with a line from that in my head: "The book says, we may be through with the past, but the past isn't through with us." I'm not sure why, but all of a sudden it started existing in my life the next week. I don't know if that's because I thought of that line and forced it to apply to my life, or if it's just something that happened.
There are two songs that remind me of my life lately. They are "Clown Town" by Xiu Xiu, and "Game Shows Touch Our Lives" by the Mountain Goats. "Misunderstood" by Wilco can probably be added to that list. Here are the lyrics to the first two:
1. Up and down through what you thought would be your future, came the dark reminder of what a rash and inconsistent faith you had in loving your true self and your true love. Clown town, no shelter, clown town, no anything, clown town, single angel, clowne town, no exit. Your true father smashed his hands through the glass, and failed out of the priviledged life of his dream. Your true love has drunk herself into not being able to pay her rent, keeping her own word to her own self. Your true brother has betrayed you over and over and looked you in the eye. Your true self has become weak and alone and annoying, and a true ridiculous dumb-ass. Clown town, revealing nothing, clown town, a flock of coots, clown town, a single beauty, clown town, a big dumb kid.
2. Dug up a fifth of hood river gin, and that stuff tastes like medicine, but i'll take it. It'll do. On the couch in the living room all day long, music on the television playing our song. I'm in the mood, the mood for you. Turn the volume up real high, all of that money, look at it fly. and you, smoking like a chimney. shadows crawled across the living room's length, I held onto you with a desperate strength, with everything. with everything in me. I handed you a drink of the lovely little thing on which our survival depends. People say friends dont destroy one another: what do they know about friends? Thunder clouds forming, cream white moon, everything's gonna be okay soon, maybe tomorrow, maybe the next day. Carried you up the stairs that night, all of this could be yours, if the price is right. I heard cars headed down to oblivion on the expressway. Your drunken kiss is as light as the air, maybe everything that falls down eventually rises. Our house sinking into disrepair, I would look at this showroom filled with fabulous prizes.
Oh, but my true brother has not betrayed me at all. Which is a good thing. Him and I may start going on vigilante justice missions with gold fishes hanging low in the circles where they've drawn our hearts.
By the way, it's good to have a good friend (and you know if this is for you).