rant
Remembering our Dead
Notice that most of the victims are Transwomen, because often times they are more visible. It makes me feel lucky that I pass completely. It makes me sad to think that we are still the most targeted group. It makes me alternately want to be an activist, and live 100% stealth depending on what day you ask me. I've never experienced extreme violence, the worst thats happened to me is way back in the day, pre-t, I took off my hat and some kids on the T realized I was "female" and decided to threaten me and push my head into a pole. At the time, it was the worst thing that could have happened, now I know much better; if only everyone were so lucky. I go back and forth about outing myself to those who I feel could benefit from it, or not at all. Because while I've never experienced violence, I have been outed twice at work, and that in and of itself made me feel like a freak all over again, when I was so sure that my time in that space was over. If you asked me four years ago, I definitely would have told that once I was on T, and I passed, all of my problems would be solved, I'm realizing slowly but surely, that isn't the case at all. While surgery will make me feel better about myself, it won't make people any less hateful, even if I do pass, and they have no idea that they're offending me.
Notice that most of the victims are Transwomen, because often times they are more visible. It makes me feel lucky that I pass completely. It makes me sad to think that we are still the most targeted group. It makes me alternately want to be an activist, and live 100% stealth depending on what day you ask me. I've never experienced extreme violence, the worst thats happened to me is way back in the day, pre-t, I took off my hat and some kids on the T realized I was "female" and decided to threaten me and push my head into a pole. At the time, it was the worst thing that could have happened, now I know much better; if only everyone were so lucky. I go back and forth about outing myself to those who I feel could benefit from it, or not at all. Because while I've never experienced violence, I have been outed twice at work, and that in and of itself made me feel like a freak all over again, when I was so sure that my time in that space was over. If you asked me four years ago, I definitely would have told that once I was on T, and I passed, all of my problems would be solved, I'm realizing slowly but surely, that isn't the case at all. While surgery will make me feel better about myself, it won't make people any less hateful, even if I do pass, and they have no idea that they're offending me.