#202: If life is a game, who do you think is winning?
I'm a professional woman, a busy woman. I have a lot of responsibilities, many day to day stresses to deal with, a lot of deadlines to meet, a whole hospital to run. This is my life and I've spent a great deal of sweat and hard work to get to where I am today.
Maybe too much time. As much as I'm solid and secure in my career, I feel I've achieved everything I want to achieve in that regards. I always thought that love and family would come naturally, that it was just my career I needed to work hard at. I always thought that by my mid-thirties I'd be in a stable, secure relationship, married to a man I love with a child, maybe two or more. I'm fast approaching forty, however, and I haven't a single decent relationship to my name in over five years.
I don't really know where I've been going wrong. I know I'm an attractive woman, I'm smart and independent. Yet every relationship I've attempted has failed, either because I worked too many hours for the guy's likes, or they just didn't turn out to be the kind of person I could envision spending the rest of my life with. I never thought finding someone could be so hard; it seems to come naturally to everyone else. It's such a cliché to say, but I feel like the girl on her prom night who's still sitting on the benches and waiting for someone to ask me dance, while everyone else has already found someone to dance with.
Being a mother is another thing I really want in life but seeing a man hasn't happened, it left me no choice but to try IVF. Seems I can't even do that right because I've tried - God knows how much I've tried to have a child. IVF programs are so incredibly stressful because there are so many built up hopes that can be so easily shattered... and it looks like all my hopes of having a child aren't going to happen, either. I've tried twice, I miscarried once; there's only so much heartache I can take before I have to say 'no more'.
Love and motherhood are still things I can achieve, if I just knew where I was going wrong. I never thought love and motherhood would ever be things that could end up being a race against time but that's the way it's becoming. Time is winning and at the rate things are going, I'm slowly falling further and further behind.
I'm running out of time.
Lisa Cuddy; House; 431 words
Maybe too much time. As much as I'm solid and secure in my career, I feel I've achieved everything I want to achieve in that regards. I always thought that love and family would come naturally, that it was just my career I needed to work hard at. I always thought that by my mid-thirties I'd be in a stable, secure relationship, married to a man I love with a child, maybe two or more. I'm fast approaching forty, however, and I haven't a single decent relationship to my name in over five years.
I don't really know where I've been going wrong. I know I'm an attractive woman, I'm smart and independent. Yet every relationship I've attempted has failed, either because I worked too many hours for the guy's likes, or they just didn't turn out to be the kind of person I could envision spending the rest of my life with. I never thought finding someone could be so hard; it seems to come naturally to everyone else. It's such a cliché to say, but I feel like the girl on her prom night who's still sitting on the benches and waiting for someone to ask me dance, while everyone else has already found someone to dance with.
Being a mother is another thing I really want in life but seeing a man hasn't happened, it left me no choice but to try IVF. Seems I can't even do that right because I've tried - God knows how much I've tried to have a child. IVF programs are so incredibly stressful because there are so many built up hopes that can be so easily shattered... and it looks like all my hopes of having a child aren't going to happen, either. I've tried twice, I miscarried once; there's only so much heartache I can take before I have to say 'no more'.
Love and motherhood are still things I can achieve, if I just knew where I was going wrong. I never thought love and motherhood would ever be things that could end up being a race against time but that's the way it's becoming. Time is winning and at the rate things are going, I'm slowly falling further and further behind.
I'm running out of time.
Lisa Cuddy; House; 431 words