(no subject)
so much going on, and so much to talk about. so i'll just start rambling, and see what all comes out of my typing.. sounds like a plan.
working two jobs is no fun, but they're both awesome jobs so i just suck it up, and like it. freddy fratz has this stupid old man working there thats just completely miserable, and likes to make people sad. we don't speak, so i know he hates me. oh well, i could really careless. i'm looking for a full time job somewhere that pays better, and i can get a check for more then 23 dollars. go meeee.
mom and i are rocky. i just don't have any trust for her, and everything with her is so shady. i guess you could say that i just don't get along with her at all, but i love her. the love i have for her, is because she's my mother. and thats what you're supposed to have, i guess. but other then that, i hate her actions, and how she does things. she doesn't think about her actions and how they'll affect me, and how things really hurt me. she just does them, and doesn't think about it.
i had to sit through that storm by myself. i was at my moms at first, and then her whole house started to fall apart, so i just freaked and drove to my dads. as i was leaving, he was coming home, and he told me that he was glad i was here, and safe. we talked a couple days ago on the phone, and it was pretty intense. he's been going to counceling with my uncle, and then going to church and counceling on his own, so he's been doing a lot of changing i guess with himself. which i think it really great, because at least one of my parents is willing to get some help. it means a lot. and he asked me to move back in, so we can try again. only this time, we can talk, and actually care whats going on in the others lives. he's been working three jobs, i guess. i didn't know that, and thats sad. they're literally working my father to death. he lost about 25 lbs or something and is rail thin, and his back is making him lose height, so he's just wasting away. i wish there was something i could do. all i really can do, is just come back, and try to help him.
bj and i are hanging out a lot again. which is nice, because he's so awesome. i took him chinese for lunch and we sat at the greenhouse and ate chinese and talked about really crazy stuff.
i've also started becoming friends with chris hawkins, and dickey. but i can't remeber dickeys last name. i like the rest of his friends, too. like jamus, ... but chris and dickey are the ones who go out of their way to have really awesome conversations with me, and make me laugh when i feel like shit. that means a lot.
dan and i are great friends again. its weird, because we were talking last night, and it was like those days when i'd go to kent before him and shauna dated, and we'd just lay in his dorm and talk about everything and anything, and say what we were feeling. everyone keeps saying how disappointed in dan they are, and everything else.. but i'm really not. they don't hang out with him anymore, so its not really like they can say what can of a person he's really become. nobody even talks to him, except for jason nutt and nick, and gus and i. nobody knows about anything else, and hates him for it, and its stupid. dan seriously, is just amazing now. he feels so much more, and just lets himself go. he's the person i wish i could be. he doesn't care anymore, and lets people think whatever they want. thats how i wish i could live my life. but i just can't. its admirable. and people can keep saying how they wish he wouldn't do the things he does, and hadn't become the person he is.. but, until you actually hang out with him, and talk to him, and try to understand him.. then fuck you guys. lol. seriously. he's not to the point where he needs help, he's living his life. and its amazing.
tessa and i are doin' the hang out thing like whoa. we're awesome. and she's met an awesome boy, that i hope treats her super. we do a lot of coloring, and be artsy. and doing stuff like that. it was nice.
well, i'm going to go to the holiday inn. and apply. HA HA...
hm.. there's more. just to lazy to type it all.
working two jobs is no fun, but they're both awesome jobs so i just suck it up, and like it. freddy fratz has this stupid old man working there thats just completely miserable, and likes to make people sad. we don't speak, so i know he hates me. oh well, i could really careless. i'm looking for a full time job somewhere that pays better, and i can get a check for more then 23 dollars. go meeee.
mom and i are rocky. i just don't have any trust for her, and everything with her is so shady. i guess you could say that i just don't get along with her at all, but i love her. the love i have for her, is because she's my mother. and thats what you're supposed to have, i guess. but other then that, i hate her actions, and how she does things. she doesn't think about her actions and how they'll affect me, and how things really hurt me. she just does them, and doesn't think about it.
i had to sit through that storm by myself. i was at my moms at first, and then her whole house started to fall apart, so i just freaked and drove to my dads. as i was leaving, he was coming home, and he told me that he was glad i was here, and safe. we talked a couple days ago on the phone, and it was pretty intense. he's been going to counceling with my uncle, and then going to church and counceling on his own, so he's been doing a lot of changing i guess with himself. which i think it really great, because at least one of my parents is willing to get some help. it means a lot. and he asked me to move back in, so we can try again. only this time, we can talk, and actually care whats going on in the others lives. he's been working three jobs, i guess. i didn't know that, and thats sad. they're literally working my father to death. he lost about 25 lbs or something and is rail thin, and his back is making him lose height, so he's just wasting away. i wish there was something i could do. all i really can do, is just come back, and try to help him.
bj and i are hanging out a lot again. which is nice, because he's so awesome. i took him chinese for lunch and we sat at the greenhouse and ate chinese and talked about really crazy stuff.
i've also started becoming friends with chris hawkins, and dickey. but i can't remeber dickeys last name. i like the rest of his friends, too. like jamus, ... but chris and dickey are the ones who go out of their way to have really awesome conversations with me, and make me laugh when i feel like shit. that means a lot.
dan and i are great friends again. its weird, because we were talking last night, and it was like those days when i'd go to kent before him and shauna dated, and we'd just lay in his dorm and talk about everything and anything, and say what we were feeling. everyone keeps saying how disappointed in dan they are, and everything else.. but i'm really not. they don't hang out with him anymore, so its not really like they can say what can of a person he's really become. nobody even talks to him, except for jason nutt and nick, and gus and i. nobody knows about anything else, and hates him for it, and its stupid. dan seriously, is just amazing now. he feels so much more, and just lets himself go. he's the person i wish i could be. he doesn't care anymore, and lets people think whatever they want. thats how i wish i could live my life. but i just can't. its admirable. and people can keep saying how they wish he wouldn't do the things he does, and hadn't become the person he is.. but, until you actually hang out with him, and talk to him, and try to understand him.. then fuck you guys. lol. seriously. he's not to the point where he needs help, he's living his life. and its amazing.
tessa and i are doin' the hang out thing like whoa. we're awesome. and she's met an awesome boy, that i hope treats her super. we do a lot of coloring, and be artsy. and doing stuff like that. it was nice.
well, i'm going to go to the holiday inn. and apply. HA HA...
hm.. there's more. just to lazy to type it all.