I do hope you are not disheartened by this rejection.
Ah, Dylan Moran, how my heart aches.
Dear Mr Black,
I’m afraid your novel was unsuitable for us at the present time and herewith return your manuscript. I do hope you are not disheartened by this rejection.
Best wishes,
Barnaby Chesington-Howe-Foxsworthy
Rejection
Rejection
Dear Mr Chesington-Howe-Foxsworthy,
Thank you for returning my manuscript and your enclosed, nasty, niminy-piminy, little note. I am afraid your letter is most unsuitable for me at the present time as I have just spent the entire weekend writing the novel you summarily rejected. I can only presume that it is company policy to reject all manuscripts not submitted in ten foot high Braille. And yes I am aware that it is traditionally bad form to respond to any kind of criticism or rejection but in this, as with all else I am an innovator. Therefore, I may freely address you as "Piss Midget". Still there is time for you to change your views and I think you will when we meet, and meet we most assuredly will, when I suck out your eyes and use them as stoppers for my ears to muffle the screams you make as I head butt you into a fine paste. I do hope you will not be disheartened by your sudden violent death.
Yours faithfully,
Bernard Black
Everyone... everyone agreed he was right to kill the publisher and to do it with a flugelhorn was a stroke of genius. "Bernard," they said. No! Brendan! Brendan! "Brendan," they said, "Congratulations, here have this basket of stuff and come and stay for the weekend."
[mood:
depressed]
[music: Dream a Little Dream || Mamas & the Papas]
Dear Mr Black,
I’m afraid your novel was unsuitable for us at the present time and herewith return your manuscript. I do hope you are not disheartened by this rejection.
Best wishes,
Barnaby Chesington-Howe-Foxsworthy
Rejection
Rejection
Dear Mr Chesington-Howe-Foxsworthy,
Thank you for returning my manuscript and your enclosed, nasty, niminy-piminy, little note. I am afraid your letter is most unsuitable for me at the present time as I have just spent the entire weekend writing the novel you summarily rejected. I can only presume that it is company policy to reject all manuscripts not submitted in ten foot high Braille. And yes I am aware that it is traditionally bad form to respond to any kind of criticism or rejection but in this, as with all else I am an innovator. Therefore, I may freely address you as "Piss Midget". Still there is time for you to change your views and I think you will when we meet, and meet we most assuredly will, when I suck out your eyes and use them as stoppers for my ears to muffle the screams you make as I head butt you into a fine paste. I do hope you will not be disheartened by your sudden violent death.
Yours faithfully,
Bernard Black
Everyone... everyone agreed he was right to kill the publisher and to do it with a flugelhorn was a stroke of genius. "Bernard," they said. No! Brendan! Brendan! "Brendan," they said, "Congratulations, here have this basket of stuff and come and stay for the weekend."
[mood:
depressed]
[music: Dream a Little Dream || Mamas & the Papas]