hmmm
.d.a.n.g.e.t. .i. .h.a.v.e. .t.h.a.t. .f.e.e.l.i.n.g. .a.g.a.i.n.
ever since i stopped softball i get this feeling off and on of getting really bored with my life cuz like. softball used to BE my life. neway
i should start running. but i really dont want to. but i should. that way. i could do xc MAYBE haha i doubt it tho. im so bad.,..mayb junior year....ehhh maybe not haha. iwanna learn to surf...i should ask thomas to teach me....
E/N/T/R/Y P/U/R/P/O/S/E
i wanna play volley ball this year. really badly. like i was going to last year. but i chickened out . i always chicken out now. with softball tryouts too. there are sum things that i hate about the person ive become. others that i like. things i hate: i chicken out when im uncomfortable doing sumthing, ive lost my determination, im still shy (really, im not as bad as i used to be tho...altho its hard to believe), and i dont stick with anything.....well im gonna fix some of those . i am determined to do so. so if i can try out for volleyball that will fix the chickening out.....if i make it....and work hard at doing it...thatll fix my determination and sticking with sumthing.....mayb ill even become less hsy hahah...oh man. ive got myself in a big mess this time. idk if i can do it...ehhhh oh well . maybe i can get sum help from kaley and haley...hnmmmm....or mayb ill do xc. i dont know. i dont know. i dont knwo what to do. i dont think i could make it...i mean. i can play...i just dont know allt he rules...and im scared....but i mean...nmy cousins told me i was good outta no wehre...and i mean...they were on the national boys team...so idk....i just want to do sumthing with my effing life so i can feel better about myself. hmmmmmmmmmm i need help with this one thooo
i think im in a good mood now tho. movies on wednesday 4:20 parkway wedding crashers if anyone wants to goooo///
psst i love you!
kelly