(no subject)
The alcohol burned a little bit. Actually, it burned a lot. As it evaporated, you could feel living, healthy, cells go with it. The smell was pungent, it burned my eyes. I could feel my tear ducts swelling up, slowly, steadily. I could feel my eyes closing up, slowly, steadily.
Rubbing alcohol, kills everything in an open wound. It wasn't the ideal antiseptic, but who am I to tell her that?
I could still feel her digging, deeper, deeper. I could still feel the blunt edge of the tweezers. I needed a drink.
I grabbed my beer, and took a drink.
Inhale.
Swig.
Exhale.
Swig.
"Do you mind if i smoke?" I asked.
"No, do you mind if I join you?"
"Not at all, in here? Or on the balcony?"
To that she stood up, and walked away. Do I follow her? Do I wait for her to take me with her? I turned to watch her walk away.
She had an amazing walk. Small paces. She walked with her hips. Left. Right.Left. Right. Sexual. Beautiful. She walked with such fluidity. Such grace. Left. Right. Left. Right. It was hard to look away. So hard. She turned, to look at me.
At that moment, I realized I was a pervert. I was sick. Sick to my stomach. Sick in my head. That moment, I realized I was turning red. She had turned to look at me, and she smiled.
She knew what i was thinking. She liked the idea of me watching her. She raised a single finger, and beckoned me to come closer. And as I came closer, and closer, she kepy beckoning. She reached out, and pulled me close, suddenly, abruptly, and she whispered.
"We'll smoke out here."
She let go, only to turn again and walk towards the window. She knew I was still watching her, left, right, left, right.
The window was open. The breeze blew in gently, it was brisk, not frigid, not pleasant, but brisk. She crawled out, and I followed. It wasn't really a balcony, but more of a fire escape. Black cast iron grating, and the ladders matched. We both pulled out a cigarette, and as we lit up the flame brought out the color in her eyes. It brought out the color even more, in those big, beautiful, green eyes. She caught me staring as she exhaled, she smiled again. I just watched her for a little while longer.
She put the cigarette in between her lips, and took a long drag.
Inhale.
Hold.
Exhale.
The way she smoked, was amazing, it excentuated her lips, made them fuller. She had a perfectly shaped mouth, perfectly straight teeth, and the cigarette excentuated them.
"So how did you know I drank Bud Light?"
Inhale.
Hold.
Exhale.
She laughed, "I've seen you throw away the cases, when you take out your garbage. You're not as unnoticed as you'd like to think."
I turned red again. I was embarassed to think that someone has actually seen how much I drink. She hasn't even seen the bottles of whiskey. She hasn't seen the bottles of rum, the bottles of vodka. She had no idea.
"I guess you must think I'm a lush."
Inhale.
Hold.
Exhale.
Repeat.
She could tell I was nervous. Me biting my bottom lip was a dead giveaway. My second cigarette, was a dead giveaway. She knew, and she thrived on the intimidation. It was silent, dead silent. You could hear the paper burning as I took a drag from my second cigarette. My hands burned, my face burned. It was silent, dead silent. You could hear the trains downtown. Inhale. Hold. Exhale. She lit up another cigarette, and again I stared into her eyes. Those big, beautiful, green eyes. It was silent, dead silent. You could hear my heart beating. What to say? Inhale.Hold.Exhale.WHAT TO SAY? Inhale. Hold. Exhale. What the fuck do I say?!
Thank god I didn't have to speak. In all that silence, that dead silence, a single, solitary, key slid into the lock on the door. In all that silence, that dead silence, a single, solitary, key slid into the lock, length by length, deeper, deeper. You could hear the lock sliding back into the door, and in all that silence, that dead silence, I dared not speak.
Rubbing alcohol, kills everything in an open wound. It wasn't the ideal antiseptic, but who am I to tell her that?
I could still feel her digging, deeper, deeper. I could still feel the blunt edge of the tweezers. I needed a drink.
I grabbed my beer, and took a drink.
Inhale.
Swig.
Exhale.
Swig.
"Do you mind if i smoke?" I asked.
"No, do you mind if I join you?"
"Not at all, in here? Or on the balcony?"
To that she stood up, and walked away. Do I follow her? Do I wait for her to take me with her? I turned to watch her walk away.
She had an amazing walk. Small paces. She walked with her hips. Left. Right.Left. Right. Sexual. Beautiful. She walked with such fluidity. Such grace. Left. Right. Left. Right. It was hard to look away. So hard. She turned, to look at me.
At that moment, I realized I was a pervert. I was sick. Sick to my stomach. Sick in my head. That moment, I realized I was turning red. She had turned to look at me, and she smiled.
She knew what i was thinking. She liked the idea of me watching her. She raised a single finger, and beckoned me to come closer. And as I came closer, and closer, she kepy beckoning. She reached out, and pulled me close, suddenly, abruptly, and she whispered.
"We'll smoke out here."
She let go, only to turn again and walk towards the window. She knew I was still watching her, left, right, left, right.
The window was open. The breeze blew in gently, it was brisk, not frigid, not pleasant, but brisk. She crawled out, and I followed. It wasn't really a balcony, but more of a fire escape. Black cast iron grating, and the ladders matched. We both pulled out a cigarette, and as we lit up the flame brought out the color in her eyes. It brought out the color even more, in those big, beautiful, green eyes. She caught me staring as she exhaled, she smiled again. I just watched her for a little while longer.
She put the cigarette in between her lips, and took a long drag.
Inhale.
Hold.
Exhale.
The way she smoked, was amazing, it excentuated her lips, made them fuller. She had a perfectly shaped mouth, perfectly straight teeth, and the cigarette excentuated them.
"So how did you know I drank Bud Light?"
Inhale.
Hold.
Exhale.
She laughed, "I've seen you throw away the cases, when you take out your garbage. You're not as unnoticed as you'd like to think."
I turned red again. I was embarassed to think that someone has actually seen how much I drink. She hasn't even seen the bottles of whiskey. She hasn't seen the bottles of rum, the bottles of vodka. She had no idea.
"I guess you must think I'm a lush."
Inhale.
Hold.
Exhale.
Repeat.
She could tell I was nervous. Me biting my bottom lip was a dead giveaway. My second cigarette, was a dead giveaway. She knew, and she thrived on the intimidation. It was silent, dead silent. You could hear the paper burning as I took a drag from my second cigarette. My hands burned, my face burned. It was silent, dead silent. You could hear the trains downtown. Inhale. Hold. Exhale. She lit up another cigarette, and again I stared into her eyes. Those big, beautiful, green eyes. It was silent, dead silent. You could hear my heart beating. What to say? Inhale.Hold.Exhale.WHAT TO SAY? Inhale. Hold. Exhale. What the fuck do I say?!
Thank god I didn't have to speak. In all that silence, that dead silence, a single, solitary, key slid into the lock on the door. In all that silence, that dead silence, a single, solitary, key slid into the lock, length by length, deeper, deeper. You could hear the lock sliding back into the door, and in all that silence, that dead silence, I dared not speak.