my story
if anyone cares to read this..
it is official! i can't take half decent picture of myself! i've tried for the past 10 minutes and it aint workin!
ok so current events...
i've been wanting to play with my hair color again... i'm thinking either rainbow or purple...
i cut my own hair not to long ago...it's intresting...
i got my lights back!!!!!! im just so happy about that! i woke up at 5:06am a saw light and i wondered if i left a candle lite and i realized it wasn't candle light. i jumped to plug my phone and mp3 player in and as i laid back down i heard my self cleaning kitty litter scooping itself and i was so happy....
i've produced no art work! i haven't felt like it... not inspired... i guess i don't want to fuck with whats really goin on inside me... that's why no art.. i don't want to face it/let it out yet... the feelings inside me also explain that out burst in my last entry... but it was how i felt...
i got a boyfriend who i <3... he's so cute! i gotta put up pictures!
i got my period today.. but i don't think anyone cares about that! lol....pain....
i repeirced my lip almost 2 weeks ago... eddy went with me that time. it's so pretty... i know it's not going to get me anywhere but i don't care. i really like it!
i'm waiting for this chick to call me back from hot topic. she works there and has been trying to help me get a job there... i wish.. that be my dream job right now... wearing w/e i wanted, my lip ring, crazy hair, the working enviornment! drool!
what else?..... i just got out of a relationship. it lasted a year and i fucked it up.. not many people know that... cause i keep the details to myself and make him look bad which isn't true... i do miss him and what we had but i've come to terms with what happened. i realized we weren't that great for each other anyway. he deseved way better; i wasn't that. i hurt him. im horrible. but i'm not a slut, though his friends may say! i looked for attention...i'm just that kind of a person but i never acted on anything and i wanted to be with him. i loved him and that never changed through out the relationship.. i just thought i'ld make that clear. we were godd for eachother on a certain level but we could get past the 5th floor... we were great friends and hung out, though we had nothing incommon (i thought that was great that we worked past that), we were overly affectionate which i loved, and great sexually.. we understood eachother... i know we cared about each other deeply and i hope he's ok... i don't think he is though... he's probably hiding it and using this new g/f of his to forget me, understandably... or maybe i'm just in denial and am comforting myself with thoughts that he's not ok either...when really he's perfectly fine and happy without me... to be honest, i'm not ok with the thought of him with someone else but what can you do? it's werid though... i have someone else and i'm ok with that... luis never crosses my mind during that (thank god!that would be horrible) so in a sence i would guess i'm over it... and not.. but what i mean also, when i said that we weren't good for each other was that well.. we had nothing in common. that caused a lot of arguements... caused a lot of not knowing what to spend our time doing... i guess i need someone artsy... or more like me.. to understand... anyway i hope he forgives me and doesn't go killing anyone who aided in our break up. if your reading this luis (if you really care that much) i'm sorry.. i hope we can look back on this in the future and be ok.. i hope i'll still know you and we'ld be ok...
wow that just spewed out of me all the sudden... but i guess thats all for now...
<3 Shannon
it is official! i can't take half decent picture of myself! i've tried for the past 10 minutes and it aint workin!
ok so current events...
i've been wanting to play with my hair color again... i'm thinking either rainbow or purple...
i cut my own hair not to long ago...it's intresting...
i got my lights back!!!!!! im just so happy about that! i woke up at 5:06am a saw light and i wondered if i left a candle lite and i realized it wasn't candle light. i jumped to plug my phone and mp3 player in and as i laid back down i heard my self cleaning kitty litter scooping itself and i was so happy....
i've produced no art work! i haven't felt like it... not inspired... i guess i don't want to fuck with whats really goin on inside me... that's why no art.. i don't want to face it/let it out yet... the feelings inside me also explain that out burst in my last entry... but it was how i felt...
i got a boyfriend who i <3... he's so cute! i gotta put up pictures!
i got my period today.. but i don't think anyone cares about that! lol....pain....
i repeirced my lip almost 2 weeks ago... eddy went with me that time. it's so pretty... i know it's not going to get me anywhere but i don't care. i really like it!
i'm waiting for this chick to call me back from hot topic. she works there and has been trying to help me get a job there... i wish.. that be my dream job right now... wearing w/e i wanted, my lip ring, crazy hair, the working enviornment! drool!
what else?..... i just got out of a relationship. it lasted a year and i fucked it up.. not many people know that... cause i keep the details to myself and make him look bad which isn't true... i do miss him and what we had but i've come to terms with what happened. i realized we weren't that great for each other anyway. he deseved way better; i wasn't that. i hurt him. im horrible. but i'm not a slut, though his friends may say! i looked for attention...i'm just that kind of a person but i never acted on anything and i wanted to be with him. i loved him and that never changed through out the relationship.. i just thought i'ld make that clear. we were godd for eachother on a certain level but we could get past the 5th floor... we were great friends and hung out, though we had nothing incommon (i thought that was great that we worked past that), we were overly affectionate which i loved, and great sexually.. we understood eachother... i know we cared about each other deeply and i hope he's ok... i don't think he is though... he's probably hiding it and using this new g/f of his to forget me, understandably... or maybe i'm just in denial and am comforting myself with thoughts that he's not ok either...when really he's perfectly fine and happy without me... to be honest, i'm not ok with the thought of him with someone else but what can you do? it's werid though... i have someone else and i'm ok with that... luis never crosses my mind during that (thank god!that would be horrible) so in a sence i would guess i'm over it... and not.. but what i mean also, when i said that we weren't good for each other was that well.. we had nothing in common. that caused a lot of arguements... caused a lot of not knowing what to spend our time doing... i guess i need someone artsy... or more like me.. to understand... anyway i hope he forgives me and doesn't go killing anyone who aided in our break up. if your reading this luis (if you really care that much) i'm sorry.. i hope we can look back on this in the future and be ok.. i hope i'll still know you and we'ld be ok...
wow that just spewed out of me all the sudden... but i guess thats all for now...
<3 Shannon