only read if you have the time
Have you ever made a sudden realization on how much you have grown as a person? Well, I did today and it was…amazing is the only word that comes to mind. All these things that I thought I would never be doing I actually am doing. I really am applying to colleges, and most likely getting accepted (pray for me please). I also have changed in many ways since freshman year. Not one person who is reading this (not that any does most of the time) knew me as a freshman. Sure, some of my camp friends especially my family members (love you all) have heard stories about it and relationship so forth. But look at me now. Back then I was getting drunk in school and doing a lot more outside of school than I should as a 14 year old. I was a mess. Gosh, looking back is the worst feeling ever. Just knowing that was me that all those memories really did happen to. I caused it all. No matter what happened it was my fault. The only person I should be angry with is me. My grades could have been way better then they were, they were still good but believe it or not guys I am a smart person who just likes to slack off, and right okay not smart with the common sense and speaking does not come easily to me, but you get the point or so I hope.
So much is going on in my life that I need to let out. The whole college piece of crap of a deal is not happening fast enough. Not knowing how my future is going to end up is scary. Like I have no control of what happens after all my information is sent in. My grandmother is really sick again, but even though she is sick and her leg is still messed up she is flying down to Georgia with my grandfather to see her sister who is dying of cancer…..I love Auntie Cook and it hurts knowing that truth be told I most likely will not be able to see her, I don’t want that to happen and I am still have positive hope for her to get better but with death, well I don’t know how I take death. Death is such a common thing to me because of all the people I have lost. I do not handle death well, or how others do. I usually don’t cry till it just builds up to a point that it comes on its own. I have lost both of my uncles: Uncle Don to aids and Uncle Matt to cancer. Friends of mine have also passed away, like Dustin the sweetest, funniest, red haired kid I know died this July and I did not find out it till Sept. over hearing people talk about it who didn’t even know his name. How fucked up is that. I hung out with Dustin basically every weekend before he dropped out of school (long story) and even after that we stayed in touch. He went back to rehab in late may so I figured while up at camp that he was still there and like every camp summer I do not keep in touch with my home friends and right….I was one of the last to find out. I don’t know I am done talking about this topic
I don’t know so much has happened in my life that I really want to make a movie out of it. Not for anyone to watch except me so I could relive all the happy times and fast forward the sad. I would have the greatest sound track to it to. Like I would pick the perfect song for each scene and it would have so much more meaning then any other song in any other movie. Sorry, just something I wish I could do. Like a good old fashion home video that Bob Sagget would watch in his spare time
I miss a lot of people at the moment
This weekend I hung out with Corin, which was awesome I love her so much…my best friend from way back…also from Guilford. It is so hard for us to get together but some how we manage and right it was just a good time with her and other friends
I miss a lot of camp people at the moment, but since I am going to action I will see some
At least some that count. I can’t wait, but I really don’t feel like working at all. Lindsay if you read this any time before Action or before I talk to you next: we need to figure out a way to get out of work by all means possible….maybe killing people or something….hiding but right we will figure something out
Please don’t think this is a “Please Pity Me” update…this was just for me to let loose all the left over thoughts running around in my head. Thank you for your time
So much is going on in my life that I need to let out. The whole college piece of crap of a deal is not happening fast enough. Not knowing how my future is going to end up is scary. Like I have no control of what happens after all my information is sent in. My grandmother is really sick again, but even though she is sick and her leg is still messed up she is flying down to Georgia with my grandfather to see her sister who is dying of cancer…..I love Auntie Cook and it hurts knowing that truth be told I most likely will not be able to see her, I don’t want that to happen and I am still have positive hope for her to get better but with death, well I don’t know how I take death. Death is such a common thing to me because of all the people I have lost. I do not handle death well, or how others do. I usually don’t cry till it just builds up to a point that it comes on its own. I have lost both of my uncles: Uncle Don to aids and Uncle Matt to cancer. Friends of mine have also passed away, like Dustin the sweetest, funniest, red haired kid I know died this July and I did not find out it till Sept. over hearing people talk about it who didn’t even know his name. How fucked up is that. I hung out with Dustin basically every weekend before he dropped out of school (long story) and even after that we stayed in touch. He went back to rehab in late may so I figured while up at camp that he was still there and like every camp summer I do not keep in touch with my home friends and right….I was one of the last to find out. I don’t know I am done talking about this topic
I don’t know so much has happened in my life that I really want to make a movie out of it. Not for anyone to watch except me so I could relive all the happy times and fast forward the sad. I would have the greatest sound track to it to. Like I would pick the perfect song for each scene and it would have so much more meaning then any other song in any other movie. Sorry, just something I wish I could do. Like a good old fashion home video that Bob Sagget would watch in his spare time
I miss a lot of people at the moment
This weekend I hung out with Corin, which was awesome I love her so much…my best friend from way back…also from Guilford. It is so hard for us to get together but some how we manage and right it was just a good time with her and other friends
I miss a lot of camp people at the moment, but since I am going to action I will see some
At least some that count. I can’t wait, but I really don’t feel like working at all. Lindsay if you read this any time before Action or before I talk to you next: we need to figure out a way to get out of work by all means possible….maybe killing people or something….hiding but right we will figure something out
Please don’t think this is a “Please Pity Me” update…this was just for me to let loose all the left over thoughts running around in my head. Thank you for your time