Shift recognition
I didn't look it, but, I was old for a dancer when I started.
I had already lived my wild, high adventure, starving artist, 20's out.
I used up all the scenester and night clubbing I had in me this lifetime.
By the time I started stripping, I had already transitioned into only going to clubs
if I was performing there or being paid to be at the opening. I was a relatively big fish in a small pond, a local character at least, if not a local celeb.
I could draw a crowd to a venue and I knew it.
My benefit days were over and I was ready to make some money.
At the strip clubs I was mostly surrounded by young women in their late teens and early twenties. They were actually having some fun (with each other, not the customers) and went to after hours clubs after working in a club all night. A few were there to support their families, like Bella, who was living up to one of the many Latino stereotypes for realz ya'll. Her parents drank the denial kool aid that allowed them to believe their ridiculously beautiful daughter was a waitress...Right, the waitress story. It's amazing how many waitresses work at strip clubs. She was more like the older dancers, kept to herself backstage. She paid for her older sisters schooling, helped her parents with bills and eventually opened her own business. It seems responsibility takes the fun out of clubbing.
When customers asked me to go out with them, I would remind them that this was out. This was as social as I got. What I didn't tell them was that my life outside of the club was filled with child related activities. Most of the people I knew and spent time with were people I met at my child's school. My biggest social events were Holiday dinners, school and community festivals. I didn't wear make-up, didn't wear heels, wore my hair in a ponytail for most of it. As a single mother, I was careful not to appear sexual at all. I wasn't interested in attracting any men- I had plenty of that at my night job.
I know a lot of dancers write about how they are two people. You don't hear theatre people talking about how split they feel. They are people who can shift into and out of characters. So was I. I was performing a character on nights I worked. The difference of course, is that they get to be proud of their shifting, whereas, strippers have to hide what we do or face serious discrimination. That and actors likely still have energy for going out and being social. Their characters aren't at a club for 6-8 hours. Their stage is defined more clearly. The stripper stage has many levels.
I became so adept at shifting that my dear brother/ friend once drove past me several times before he realized that it was me, waiting outside the club, with the bouncer at my side. I had forgotten to shift out of the character, didn't bother removing make-up or returning my hair to ponytail, my contact lenses were still in because he was coming to pick me up. The 3rd time the car drove the circular driveway, when I saw him dismiss my wave as if I was a stripper trying to hustle out there, I realized I had to shift my energy, stand differently, whatever it was, just to get my friend/brother of 20 years to recognize me. I doubt anyone in a club would have recognized me at my child's baseball game either.
Of course, I recognized them.
I had already lived my wild, high adventure, starving artist, 20's out.
I used up all the scenester and night clubbing I had in me this lifetime.
By the time I started stripping, I had already transitioned into only going to clubs
if I was performing there or being paid to be at the opening. I was a relatively big fish in a small pond, a local character at least, if not a local celeb.
I could draw a crowd to a venue and I knew it.
My benefit days were over and I was ready to make some money.
At the strip clubs I was mostly surrounded by young women in their late teens and early twenties. They were actually having some fun (with each other, not the customers) and went to after hours clubs after working in a club all night. A few were there to support their families, like Bella, who was living up to one of the many Latino stereotypes for realz ya'll. Her parents drank the denial kool aid that allowed them to believe their ridiculously beautiful daughter was a waitress...Right, the waitress story. It's amazing how many waitresses work at strip clubs. She was more like the older dancers, kept to herself backstage. She paid for her older sisters schooling, helped her parents with bills and eventually opened her own business. It seems responsibility takes the fun out of clubbing.
When customers asked me to go out with them, I would remind them that this was out. This was as social as I got. What I didn't tell them was that my life outside of the club was filled with child related activities. Most of the people I knew and spent time with were people I met at my child's school. My biggest social events were Holiday dinners, school and community festivals. I didn't wear make-up, didn't wear heels, wore my hair in a ponytail for most of it. As a single mother, I was careful not to appear sexual at all. I wasn't interested in attracting any men- I had plenty of that at my night job.
I know a lot of dancers write about how they are two people. You don't hear theatre people talking about how split they feel. They are people who can shift into and out of characters. So was I. I was performing a character on nights I worked. The difference of course, is that they get to be proud of their shifting, whereas, strippers have to hide what we do or face serious discrimination. That and actors likely still have energy for going out and being social. Their characters aren't at a club for 6-8 hours. Their stage is defined more clearly. The stripper stage has many levels.
I became so adept at shifting that my dear brother/ friend once drove past me several times before he realized that it was me, waiting outside the club, with the bouncer at my side. I had forgotten to shift out of the character, didn't bother removing make-up or returning my hair to ponytail, my contact lenses were still in because he was coming to pick me up. The 3rd time the car drove the circular driveway, when I saw him dismiss my wave as if I was a stripper trying to hustle out there, I realized I had to shift my energy, stand differently, whatever it was, just to get my friend/brother of 20 years to recognize me. I doubt anyone in a club would have recognized me at my child's baseball game either.
Of course, I recognized them.