(no subject)
ok so im updating.my life is peachy.groundation.ugh what more can i say.work crap,boys crap,money crap,sleep crappp,ahhh i want to get over you right now this moment but i cant i wish i could cause all we are is friends thats all nothing more nothing less.we have our moment when i thought you maybe felt something back but i think im realizing im wrong.completly.im worn out from it.from trying to build up the courage to talk to you about how i feel.and just having you sit there and say "i dont know" .i know.its a waste of my breathe and i wish i could say it would be the last.but i have been battling this damned crush for almost 2 years! 2 YEARS THATS ABSOLUTLY CRAZY.i need a chick night with movies and ice cream and just aghhhhjkhg but no groundation secludes me to this very room this very computer for my only sense of actual contact.other than you.ha you suck.your the only one im aloud to be around when im grounded.that is worse than being grounded now.i have to sit there and be around you if i need someone to hang with and know that im getting into liking you more and more with every laugh and smile.i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it.i wish you would know i would do anything to show you this very letter im writing to show you how much i care and how upset im making myself over nothing.its a crush ali get over it.you get them all the time.but nooooo this ones different.since the moment i saw you i swore that you were different in every way from the other guys i had been with.ha what did i do.i tossed you away right along with those flowers you gave me and the note that i never read (to this day wished i had just to see what you had said).what you had felt about me back then.ha this rambling is helping me now.cause i cant say it to you.im sitting talking to a screen that will give me no emotion back for the emotions im pouring in.im sorry.i wanna give up.i wanna say all this to you one last time then forget and move on.i cant.im just not strong enough.i miss the way we were.i miss you.