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The Jerry Springer Show : Episode 627 : "Marriage Meltdown!"
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[The crowd starts chanting "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!"]
Jerry: Tonight on "The Jerry Springer Show" we have a particularly interesting episode! Winry is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend, Scieska. So everyone, please put your hands together for Winry!
[The crowd whoops and hollers]
Jerry: Okay, now Winry you're here to talk about someone aren't you?
You: Yes.
Jerry: And what is this other person's name?
You: Ed.
[The crowd squeals with delight]
Jerry: Okay, okay, well Ed, is actually here tonight ...
[The crowd squeals]
Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you Winry, because as it happens there is someone else here to see you! So let's bring out ... Ban!
You: What the HELL!!!
[Out of nowhere you pull out a Wrench. Ban reaches for the Couch. Out of the shadows Ginji appears]
Ginji: Wait everybody, wait!
Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First, tell us why you're here Ban.
Ban: Because I saw Winry and Ginji making out at Garfiel's!
[The crowd goes absolutely insane]
Ginji: That's a lie! I was home watching American Idol!
Jerry: [raising his hands] Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here ... what exactly is the problem Ban?
Ban: Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with Scieska who has recently become engaged to Ginji.
[The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement]
Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring Scieska out here because Winry had something that they needed to tell them anyway about ... Ed that's right!
Scieska: [enters onto stage and saunters over towards you] What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with Ed! You know how I feel about Ed!
Ginji: [screams] What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with Ed!
Scieska: Because I knew that I could never have Ed. But Winry promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!
Ginji: What about respect for my feelings!
[Ban walks suddenly across the stage, embracing Scieska]
Ban: Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.
[Again the crowd squeals]
Ginji: Oh my God! Are you sick!?
[Ginji runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly]
Ginji: Winry take me away from all of this!
You: You see? That's the thing ... I'm ... well, I'm married ...
[The crowd does its bit]
Ginji: Married?
[You nod]
Ginji: Who the hell are you married to? When ... when did this happen? I don't understand!
You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to Ed.
Scieska: [screaming] WHAT!!!
Jerry: [grinning widely, makes an enquiry] So ... did you have a nice wedding night?
Ed: [stepping back out onto center stage] Well we had sex 6 times if that's what you mean.
[The crowd squeals]
Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight ... Winry is married to Ed who Scieska has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now Scieska has recently become engaged to Ginji who was recently spotted kissing Winry in Garfiel's. Now on top of this, Ban has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with Scieska.
Ed: That's right Jerry.
Jerry: [looking sternly into the camera] It's times like these that one has to wonder whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks - it's been great - but for now, take care of yourselves ... and each other.
[Cue cheesy background music and fade to black]
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((OMFG!!! xDDD ...Oh yeah, translations are finished yey~!))